Get Confident, Stupid!

Look. I understand that you are feeling insecure because you put on some weight this winter. You have been dieting, and eating less, only to gain 3 pounds in 3 days. Today, you told me all about how bloated you are feeling, and just look at how your watch is too tight!

All of this is information I do not need to have about a co-worker, but I am polite. I even mentioned how I know it is hard, I am trying to tone up myself.

This was a mistake. Stop sending me links to dieting websites. Stop telling me how many miles you walked yesterday. Stop asking me what my BMI is. Stop patting your tummy every 5 minutes and sighing. Oooh, let’s compare calories burned with different exercises!

I am tired of your whiny insecure ass. Get over it or at least shut up about it. You are acting like an insecure teenage girl. Oh, I’m so fat! I can’t believe I ate that chip! This bagel has more than my allotted carbs for the day! Oh, I’ll be doing extra sit-ups tonight!

Oh, look, you had a slim-fast for breakfast. Aren’t you good?

Did I mention you are a 40 year old man? I don’t want to hear about how bloated you are! You are not my galpal, but it is starting to creep me out that you are acting like you are! Grow up and get some self-esteem, dumbass!

UGH! I feel your pain. I can’t stand listening to babbling, insecure people (esp. women) going on and on about what they did, what they ate, how fat they feel…It’s maddening.

Get a clue and develop some self confidence!!!

Just roll your eyes and hope it helps. Ask that 40 yr old man if he’s heard of group therapy. Then ask him if he would like a cup of STFU.

Sew his lips shut. Two birds, one stone.

Others are starting to notice it too. While he was telling me how bloated he was today, and showing me how his watch was making an indentation in his skin, one of the engineers walked by and overheard. He gave me a look of pure terror, and started walking a little faster.

Have you considered he might be trying to flirt with you, in some incredibly inept way? He obviously has lousy social skills and a mediocre sense of boundaries, at best.

Why don’t you just tell him to cut it out?

Oh, sure. Be the voice of reason.

Actually, I did say to him, “That’s a little more than I needed to know,” but he’s not one to really care if you actually listen or not, he’ll just keep talking. The other day he was rambling on about something, and I was blatently ignoring him, just going on with my work, not even looking up or going mmm-hmmm. He doesn’t care, he keeps talking.

I’m with Lizard . Poor guy’s just trying to bond with you!