Get off the road. No really. I mean it. Before you kill people.

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m not sure where to put this. It’s half rant, half request for constructive advice. If someone feels it’s more suited elsewhere, feel free to whisk away.

In thispost I gave an overview of the antics of the most amusingly stupid person I’ve ever met in real life. How stupid? I used to believe all the guests on the Springer show had to be actors. I know better now.

So my husband’s best friend has a girlfriend. Let’s call her Sally. Sally has inoperable, benign brain tumor(s). She has uncontroled seizures, hydrocephalus, and an OxyContin habit that results in her popping them like they’re candy.

I would feel bad for Sally, if she wasn’t driving all over fucking creation.

My husband suggested gently (too gently IMO) that it probably isn’t wise (legal) for Sally to be driving, what with all the regular seizures.
Oh, but that’s okay! says the friend. She only has the seizures at night!

Yeah, except for that Monday afternoon she called you in a panic because she had a seizure while driving down the highway and managed to pull off and didn’t know what exit she was at or even what county she was in and could he come and find her? She was somewhere near a cemetary. That’s all she knew.
He found her about 40 miles from home based on context clues and lucky guessing.

A few weeks after that, they came to visit my husband while I was at work. Idiot Friend wanted to borrow some cds. (he only shows up when he wants something, but I guess that’s besides the point) They live about 40 miles away, and Sally drove. Because she likes to drive! While they were there (for about an hour) my husband witnessed her swallowing handfulls of what she said was OxyContin. She has really bad headaches, you see. Then she drove when they left.

Yesterday Idiot Friend was complaining to my husband that Sally has doctors appointments pretty much every day, and she insists on driving to all of them. The appointments range over a three county area - this is not local driving. She’s annoyed because her doctor is refering her to a pain clinic for her drug needs. Her love of driving is handy though because sometimes she takes his kid to school, which is a half hour drive (he’s got partial custody right now, but his wife is suing for full custody and he can’t figure out why). Whenever they go anywhere together, she insists on driving.

Look, I don’t care if someone wants to be a human shaped waste of organic matter. If someone wants to screw up their own life sixteen different ways before breakfast, fine! But GET OFF MY HIGHWAY. LEAVE ME AND OTHER INNOCENT PEOPLE OUT OF IT.

What I can’t figure out is why her doctor hasn’t turned her into the state ¶ as required. And I’m sort of wondering if a layperson could, if there’s some way to tip off the police that her license needs to be pulled. (it may be already for all I know - plenty of people drive without licenses and hope they don’t get caught) The police are already involved in some sort of dust up with Sally and her mother, something about Sally making death threats.
And the more evil part of me thinks that the ex-wife would be really interested to know who is taking her son to school.
Normally the voices in my head tell me to mind my own business. The other part of me says that this IS my own business. She could kill me or any one of my family members (many of whom live near her and Idiot Friend). More likely I’ll continue to stew and wait for the fatal accident and hope it’s only the driver.

2

Quite honestly, I would call the mother of the boy and make her aware of the situation. Idiot friend is truly an idiot if he’s allowing Sally to drive his son to school, knowing her medical issues as well as the fact that she’s constantly out of her gourd on Oxycontin.

Idiot Friend doesn’t deserve custody of his son if he’s that stupid/gullible/pussywhipped to allow Sally to continue to do this.

3

Sometimes I think that we need at least two classes of adult citizens…those who are allowed to drive, and vote, and generally perform all the actions of an adult, because, you know, they generally ACT like adults. And then the second class of adult citizens would not be allowed to do certain things, or they’d have to have a keeper with them when doing some things. Because they don’t act like adults. While I feel sorry that Sally has these headaches and a drug dependency, I certainly do not want her anywhere NEAR me when she’s driving.

I say to listen to the more evil part of you, and tip off the ex-wife as to WHO is driving her son to school. Wouldn’t YOU want to be notified if some druggie was your kid’s driver? I’d also express my concerns to the city and state police. This woman is a danger.

And in the long run, I suggest introducing your husband to a better class of friend. This guy and his squeeze are just users. But first get all of your CDs and whatever else he’s borrowed back.

4

I’m trying to figure out how I can do that without opening up a shitstorm. I’m not on friendly terms with my husband’s friend, let alone his ex-wife. If it got around that I dropped the dime and made Idiot Friend lose custody, I’d be the bad guy. I know that is stupid because I’m not the stoned driver, but we’re not dealing with the most rational people. Idiot Friend and his mother (he and Sally are shacked up with his mom since they’re foreclosing on his house) would hate me. That doesn’t bother me, but it would really hurt my husband. It’s a little tangled. (see below)

Yeah, my husband is a sweet guy. He’s a little too sweet sometimes. He and Idiot Friend grew up together. They were born within months of each other, and their mothers were best friends since childhood. So this isn’t an easy relationship to wriggle out of, though my husband has distanced himself as much as possible.

I’m unsure what to tell the police. I know the address where they’re living, and I could probably get Sally’s last name through the grape vine. But I’ve never personally witnessed all this going on. Would the police take a complaint of “I’ve heard this seizing twit is driving stoned on painkillers” seriously? And what could they do besides stake out the house and wait for her to drive?

5

You need to find out ASAP how to do this, and then do it.

Fuck the niceties; fuck any concerns you might have about causing rifts or offending people. This woman is an incredible danger to other road users, and should not be driving.

6

didn’t your husband see her taking a hand full of pills identified as oxy’s in front of you, then she drove home? did you think he was lying? I know if you allow some one to drink excessively in your home and then drive off, you can have some liability if they get into an accident. wonder what the issue is w/r/t drugs.

7

As opposed to calling the police, call child services instead. You could also send an anonymous letter to the mother. As mhendo says, fuck the niceties. There is a kid’s life at stake, as well as all the other drivers on the road.

Shit, next time they come by your place and you know that Sally is driving, call the police on them when they leave after apprising them of the situation, and insist that you remain anonymous. Perhaps they could make it look like a regular traffic stop and take it from there.

If I were you I wouldn’t be able to sit around and do nothing. You also should talk to your husband about this.

How guilty would you both feel is something happened to the kid, your idiot friend, Sally, some other innocent driver or a combination of all of the above?

8

I totally agree. Imagine how bad you’re going to feel if she seizes while driving, and kills a carful of total strangers, or the child she’s driving to school. She’s a menace.

9

Is it possible that her doctor did turn her in, and that she’s driving on a suspended license?

10

Trying to imagine what I would do in this situation, I don’t think doing nothing is an option - I would feel pretty bad if I did nothing and she killed a carful of people. I think I would discuss it with my husband, and if he wasn’t willing to take action, I would call the police and ask for their advice on what to do with this situation - laws ARE being broken. You aren’t allowed to drive stoned on prescription drugs any more than you are allowed to drive drunk, and people with seizures (I understand) aren’t allowed to drive at all.

11

I agree 100% that this woman shouldn’t be driving while having regular (daily?) seizures, and I think that you should give the police a tipoff, probably anonymously to avoid a friends and family shitstorm. I’m virtually certain that you’re not allowed to have a license in that sort of situation - I know that was the case in PA when I grew up, at least.

However, I feel that I must note that despite its reputation and street use, a handful of OxyContin, for people in bad enough pain that they actually need it, doesn’t necessarily make you stoned. My mom always declines prescriptions for it because it’s not strong enough compared to Darvocet and Percocet, and my dad spent years on large daily doses of both the extended and immediate release forms in order to control his pain. (He eventually stopped driving, but it was for vision reasons, not medication.)

12

I am not in any way condoning Sally’s actions, but as a person with a seizure disorder myself, I can sympathize with her somewhat. When it became clear that my seizures were not going to go away, I made immediate arrangements to sell my car. The temptation to risk it “just this once” is very strong.

Sally is very dangerous to the people around her. It is not your responsibility to turn her in, but I think it makes sense to contact the police about her. I would call them on a non-emergency line and ask whether there is someone to report her to. If you have a good relationship with the local cops, it may just be a matter of making them informally aware of the situation.

13

Can’t we merge these two threads?

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I feel safe in saying that I have more evil experience than you, both in terms of online whimsy and actually being a 3d shit. Informing the ex-wife of this situation is NOT being evil. Put yourself in her situation: wouldn’t you want to know?

15

If you don’t know her last name, perhaps you can report her via her license plate and address? OR like mentioned above, call in an annonymous tip next time she leaves your house.

16

How about openly telling Sally (and your husband) that you’re appalled by the fact that she’s driving, and that if you find out she’s doing it again, you’ll call the cops and the ex-wife? Present yourself as a concerned citizen, like you feel it’s only fair to let ex-wife know about the risks her child is being put through, but you want to give Sally a chance to improve her ways.

It’ll probably still bring down a shitstorm, but at least you won’t have to worry about them finding out.

17

Merge these two threads? One which is about a random putz with whom the OP has no personal connection who merely drives annoyingly slow and another which is about a specific woman in this OP’s life who drives with a seizure disorder, while under the influence of pain medication, and with a child in tow? :dubious:

This thread might be better suited in IMHO than here. I really want to offer advice, but I just can’t help a burning desire to be snarky here.

Perhaps you’ll get lucky and she’ll wrap herself around a tree somewhere when she is driving by herself.

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But that’s the point. We are encouraging her to not wait that long.

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That’s why I think this thread would’ve done better in IMHO. I can’t give constructive advice in the pit! I can only say not-nice things here!

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Or nothing at all…
:smiley: