This should be short and sweet, but here’s a cite for anyone who cares. This is what I’m responding to:
Except that I’m not allowed to call you a dick in IMHO, although I am here, so let me be explicit: When you call someone a liar and you can’t prove it, you’re being a dick. You’ve insulted someone based on some speculative guess regarding their honesty that you’ve pulled straight out of your ass. The fact that it’s your honest opinion doesn’t make you less of an dick for posting it, because (1) it serves absolutely no constructive purpose; (2) it derails the conversation, and (3) you can’t prove it.
And let’s make no mistake as to who started the cutesiness: You, by posting “your sarcasm about the medical record is adorable, btw.” So if you don’t like it, fucking suck it up.
You’re right, I’m not going to lose any sleep over it, but since you prefer direct communication to hints, here you go: You were being a sanctimonious asshole and you should work on cutting it out. And if that ruffles your widdle feathers, then kiss my ass.
If I had to choose sides on this, I am definitely on the Butterflies side. You were the one who came off sounding like a dick in that thread while you were trying to police her on whether or not she should call Belrix a liar. And for what its worth, I also didn’t believe that his doctor said, “You’ve been feeding your little girl Tylenol PM for a year? No problem, I’m sure she’s fine.” That’s utter nonsense and I’m not even in the medical field.
While I think SwB has a point (Belrix maybe needs to just get his kid’s liver enzymes tested, doctor and ex be damned, just to be safe)-- calling someone a liar rarely, if ever, leads to constructive conversation. Belrix tried to defend himself against the accusation, and she essentially called him an attention whore for it. But she doesn’t care about him and his kids, really… then why bother sticking around the thread? To call him a liar again? Because it’s funny to see the sad clown dance? I don’t get it. She made her point. Why keep poking at an obviously confused and miserable person?
I do have to say, every time I see a thread from Belrix about his family, I know it’s going to be a train wreck. SwB is right about this-- he should just stop posting about it and get some fucking therapy, for just himself if not his kid(s). However, he is more to be pitied than scorned, IMO.
Right in the center is fine; bend over and pucker up.
I only implied you were a dick, after you told me I was “adorable,” so if you want to talk about people being indirect in their bitchiness, introduce yourself to Mr. Mirror. And I limited myself to the implication because I was trying to make my point without taking it to the Pit when it didn’t merit it. Not every disagreement has to be in this forum and I was actually trying to avoid it but nooooo – Your response was to effectively say that you preferred I be more direct. So now you have your wish. You’re welcome.
I still have a feeling I’d do better with a map and actual routed out spot. Something tells me that would be the safer route.
Let me see if I’ve got this straight. Because I laughed at your ridiculous “Should he send you a copy of the medical records?” asinine question and called it adorable, that is what brought your middle school throwdown on? Really?
If somebody tells a whopper on a message board, I don’t see anything wrong with calling bullshit. Sure it’s unproductive and a waste of time, but so what? 99% of message board postings are unproductive and a waste of time.
I really don’t know what SwB was looking for in that thread. A statement from the OP that he is a piss poor Dad* and sucks as a human* and should just go play in traffic? Who is going to say, yes, you’re right and I am so wrong and thank you after being chastised in such a manner? SwB was out of line, IMO. Belrix needs help–not repeated scathing disparagement, criticism and accusations of dishonesty.
I get so sick of the sanctimony here–as if all of us have never made mistakes, hurt (not as in physically, but maybe even that) our kids while trying to help them, fucked up in our marriages etc. We all know “we’d never do X or Y and how dare you even mention it, you shit for brains OP” is more the trend than “gosh, that sounds really difficult to deal with, here is something that might work and worked for me, good luck to you”. Where the hell is compassion (which is not the same as enabling)? Where is common courtesy?
Yes, he posts a lot about this. But this IS the focus of his life right now. How many of you have ever sat next to a newly divorced person and had to listen to them “cathart”? God, it’s tedious as hell–that’s what therapists are for. For all intents and purposes, he has moved on, but as we all know, that’s easier said than done. PLUS, he’s got fuel to the fire every week with the daughter situation. --he’s at his wit’s end. He got lots of good advice in that thread–but it was overkill and then when he didn’t abase himself to the high and mighty Dopers, he got shit all over.
I believe him when he says he talked to the doctor. I believe the doc told him what he told him. I also believe that it’s not as easy as others think to just up and take daughter to the doctor w/o mom’s ok. There is more than one issue at work here, and he has to navigate his way through them. I think he needs professional help to do so–not shrill voices on the Dope castigating him for not meeting their standards. So, STFU already and let him get to it. If you just can’t stand another Belrix thread–don’t open it! I’ve no doubt he and his kids will muddle through in the end. That’s about all any of us can hope for, in the end.
Maybe I should have put this in the other thread, I dunno. It felt good to get it off my chest. We’ve given him advice and a big ole dose of shame and recrimination. Leave him be.
*I don’t believe either of these.
If this thread is the “middleschool throwdown” you’re referring to, it was the obvious response to your complaint that instead of “saying something I believed,” I was only “hinting.” Keep that in mind the next time you want to complain I’m being insufficiently direct.
No, the middleschool throwdown is not this Pit thread. This threads is what you felt like you needed to do for your ego, or whatever reason you’re doing it.
What I’m referring to is your general tone no matter what the topic. Your air of haughtiness and sarcasm from word go. You butted your nose in to be the OP’s defender and asked me a stupid question as if it was a clever and realistic thing. YOU (and a few others) invented the idea that I expect him to defend and prove his truth. I expected no such thing.
I don’t believe him so I said so. I still don’t believe him, and don’t care who doesn’t like that. That’s my opinion based on what he posted. I said it to him, and that was that. I only defended my position when asked by certain busybodies who wanted to each rehash it. So, you ask me about it and then want to bitch about it being a hijack or me coming back to kick him while he’s down. Make up your mind. Do you want me to answer you questions, or drop it?
In all 3 of you responses in this thread, you’ve made mention that you are now BEING DIRECT and pretty much insinuating “How do you like that!?!?” Would you like your pat on the head now? We got it, we got it. I got it, you’re being direct! Now you don’t have to say it in the NEXT comment because I’m letting you know it was obvious the first time you said it that you’re thoroughly proud of your direct self.
The baseball game I’m watching is on a rain delay, so I can keep it up here with you for awhile until you get it all out of your system. As long as you need. Go on, get it all out now.
That whole thread was totally depressing to read. I feel sorry for Sally because she’s 8 and obviously not very happy. I feel sorry for Belrix because he’s obviously got a heap of shit on his plate, and is having trouble dealing with everything despite trying very hard. I feel sorry for his ex because despite his contempt for her, I’m willing to bet this isn’t easy for her either.
However, I don’t know that this pit thread will do much good. Jodi I think that you’re completely in the right and I think despite your obvious frustration you offered some excellent advice and were supportive of Belrix despite being really friggin’ annoyed with his seeming refusal to accept any responsiblity in this shit show.
That being said, I can’t really fault Sleeps With Butterflies either - I’ve read a couple of these threads (or parts of them) and Belrix certainly seems to have a habit of omitting facts that would paint him in a bad light (don’t we all) or spinning every event as if he’s the wounded party (as opposed to his child, new wife, ex wife, etc). Scepticism doesn’t seem misplaced, to be honest.
Was there any need to post it in that thread? Probably not. Was SWB rude to you Jodi - hell yes.
But I don’t see much good coming from this. Unfortunatly, Belrix’s behaviour is agrivating enough that I think many people were thinking exactly what SWB posted.
I do too, especially after poking around Tylenol’s website and learning that Tylenol Jr.–specifically intended for children under 12–contains 160 mg of acetaminophen per tab and the recommended dose for a person the age of Belrix’s daughter is 2.5 tabs or 400 mg. Half a Tylenol PM contains 250 mg.
What I do find odd, though, is that the same active ingredient in Tylonol PM that makes you sleepy, diphenhydramine HCl, is available all by itself in any of several OTC sleep aids and allergy medications without the hepatotoxicity risk of acetaminophen. Why wouldn’t the doctor have suggested these as safer alternatives?
How is anyone any more or less of a “busybody” in that thread? We’re giving comments on a guy’s personal business. We’re also free to comment on the comments, including yours. If you want to post your opinion, that’s your right, one you’ve vociferously defended regardless of its popularity or kindness. But when people question your opinion, they’re busybodies who are interfering in your free expression. Make up your mind!
It’s not like you had no choice but to call him a liar, you know. There are more diplomatic ways to express your doubt and skepticism which might have been more constructive, if you care at all about helping the guy. But if you don’t, and you’re harsh, people are going to be harsh back. That’s not middle school, that’s the world.
I say this as someone who agrees with a good bit of the substance of your criticisms of Belrix. You can be a bit passive-aggressive in your criticisms of people, and I think that’s what Jodi is calling you out on. Maybe you and Jodi are just, you know, constitutionally incompatible or something.
In post #135 in that thread I did try to bring up the subject with him without saying it was a lie. What made me come back and actually call it a lie was his response to Shayna in #139. Oh he came back and said he edited it (looked pretty much the same to me) but that was when I decided not to continue with the song and dance. So I said I thought he was lying.
Of course you can respond to anything you want. What I can’t get is that people ask me to clarify or come in to criticize, but when I respond to them I get accused of coming back to continue to berate HIM. It can’t be both ways.
No, my little molester of lepidoptera, it did not. Fortunately, I bypassed Google and went straight to the source: Tylenol’s own website. This fact seems to have escaped you despite being stated explicitly, so I mention it again just for your benefit*.
Nowhere on their site does it suggest such a dosing regimen is inadvisable.
Yes, I get that you were looking for any pathetic excuse to use that cheap shot. Congratulations, you found it. Go you.
We were talking about TylenolPM though, which says not to be used for anyone under 12. Like, for any duration. Even for adults, it says on the bottle to not use more than 2 weeks at a time.
So I’m glad you checked out the TylenolJr site… but that’s not what we’re talking about. TylenolJr is for fevers and/or pain, not for sleeplessness.
The half life of Tylenol is 2-3 hours in adults, faster in children. 500 mg of Tylenol (and she was apparently getting half that) will be miniscule in 24 hours. There is little risk here. I completely believe that a doctor might say “oh, that’s fine.”
However, there is risk. Some people are simply susceptible to liver damage . And a blood test is easy to do. Liver damage is a horrible thing.
(I also don’t get why anyone would use Tylenol PM unless you were also medicating for pain - but I tend to be a medication minimalist.)
Because diphenhydramine is a largely ineffective sleep medication for younger patients, and can sometimes cause the reverse reaction (anxiousness, excitability).