Where did I suggest that he stay in his room? Other than when he wants to watch TV? I frankly don’t care where he stays. It’s his apartment, apparently, and it is full of deadbeats that he doesn’t know how to deal with: my opinion is as meaningless as yours. After all, the apartment, the problem, and the solution are his. I just wouldn’t put up with the crap, that’s all.
In many instances the “took upstate to live on a farm” trope is a euphemism for “had him put to sleep.” Either way, problem solved. I’m just sayin’.
Yeah, I don’t understand how some people are completely unable to stand up for themselves.
How about instead of shutting off the cable and all that other passive-agressive crap, you just tell him “no guests”. If you want him gone tell him he has X days to move out. If he doesn’t move out he is tresspassing and subject to arrest.
Um, since he is the brother of the OP’s significant other, don’t you think that might much make for some bad feeling with the SO? I mean, stop, think. kay?
Which isn’t to say he should simply roll over and let himself be fucked. But there are more diplomatic ways of handling the issue.
- Open the window. Remove screen.
- Back a pickup truck to the window.
- Attach rope, throw through the window.
- Casually attach the rope to his leg.
- Walk out smiling and whistling.
- Floor it.
- Stop the truck somewhere down the block. Put it in park and leave it there.
- Walk home.
Problem resolved.
That doesn’t really work actually. You can’t claim someone is trespassing who has been there for a while and who is the Brother of your wife. He could probably claim some kind of tenants rights if he’s been there a while.
Fuck it. Boot her ass too. “Shithead” probably runs in the family.
It’s been a week. And since it is an appartment, can I assume the OP is renting? Which means he may actually be in violation of the lease.
The point is you shouldn’t have to suffer someone you don’t want living in your home. So either lay down some rules or tell him he has to leave. And if he doesn’t leave, start using the law to make him leave.
- Reserve comment when CNN reporter sticks microphone in your face for national headline story “Shades of James Byrd Killing: Native American Dragged to Death Behind Pickup Truck in Arizona”.
True. But then, it seems silly to get pissed on someone for not leaving who you (or your SO, hopefully with your permission) invited to stay there and, as far as I can tell from the OP, hasn’t actually been told he’s bothering anyone. When someone asks me if they can stay in my living room for a week and I say yes, I don’t get all pissed if they…stay in my living room for a week. Even if they talk on their celphone a lot.
Of course maybe there’s more to the story, but just going by what’s in the OP, the fault seems to be more with dale for getting angry at a house guest for being a house guest and prefering to rant about them on a Messageboard then simply asking if they’d clear out of the livingroom during the day so you can use the TV.
When I read “freeloader” I think of a relative or something who takes advantage of an invitation and eats all the food, trashes the place and refuses to make plans to get their own place. Not a SO’s brother who has only been there a few days and watches a lot of TV.
Permission? HA HA HA HA. My ‘permission’ consists of getting a text at work saying “Brother is staying here this week.”
And like a GOOD FUCKING FREELOADER, he’s going to boomerang. Looks like he’s coming back tonight.
DAMN DAMN DAMN. SO is going to make me touch that third rail of having to talk about his family. This is a small two bedroom apartment. Freeloader’s room is the second bedroom which is also SO’s office. Since Freeloader seems incapable of doing anything but channel surfing, naturally he takes over the living room. Since I’m out…gasp…WORKING…most days, he’ll have the big screen and the living room monopolized.
Hell, I wonder what the electric bill will be like this month. It takes a lot of electricity to run a plasma tv 24 hours a day.
I think *you *should move out. You’re 'whipped, man. Or woman. Either way, when your SO runs roughshod over you and your legitimate gripes, it’s time to disentangle yourself so your backbone stands a chance of regrowing.
Is he still having contact with the daughter? If so, I definitely think you guys should let Adult Protective Services (or whatever the equivalent is where you live) know that she might be in danger from him. Someone needs to protect her if her mother won’t.
I despise women who let their spouse mistreat their kids. Their priorities are really screwed up.
Jesus, just kick them both out if it’s your apartment. Move out if it isn’t.
Just because she’s your SO doesn’t mean he has a right to freeload off you. Tell her that.
She can find herself in court along with him if she knows about this horrible treatment of this person.
We had a very recent case here in our neck of the woods where a couple of school teachers ( married) were reported to have sexually molested an underage special ed girl. The wife in the case ended up in court with her husband ( seperate trials) and she was eventually cleared of wrong doing, but her 28 year career as a special ed teacher is forever sullied. Her husband killed himself in jail, like more cretants like him should.
You need to put up a good firm NO.
Keep saying no and don’t worry about where they will sleep or what they will eat.
Leeches like this always will find someone new to suck dry before they are kicked out.
Do yourself a huge favor. Read up on Co-Dependancy.
This works but it does take some time.
A particularly shy but passive aggressive friend had problems like yours. After 2 months he cancelled the cable, ‘broke’ the AC and stopped bringing any food/drink into the house. After a month they were gone 
Wow, sounds like your SO’s brother got laid off, went through the proper channels to get unemployment (which requires looking for a job), is eating “their” own food, and needed a place to stay for the week while you were at work, opting to go to a reservation as not to intrude upon you on the weekend.
Somehow, you exiled yourself to the bedroom for the evening because they watched tv all day? Did you ask for your remote control? Why can’t he use the living room while you are out working all day?
I understand if this is your apartment and you don’t want to share, but I hope if I were to be laid off, I could rely on my family to help me out, just a little…
This is unacceptable. I love my brother very much and he loves his but there is no way either of them would be invited to stay without a clear discussion with the other party and rules and guidelines of how long they are going to stay.
Play opera on your stereo real loud.
Sing along.
With several friends.
While playing the violin (it does not matter that you don’t know how.)
I haven’t a hardluck story. I just want to be lazy for a while, can I crash at your place? Rumor has it you’re a sucker. 