And if you are only asked half of the time? Maybe less?
Of course not, I would expect that it would take some time to serve 20 customers. I probably wouldn’t wait if I saw so many ahead of me, and move onto something else. I like to be efficient with my time.
In the ideal world that would be what I’d prefer. It’s actually happened and I thanked the person profusely for the heads-up.
Unless it’s hailing or pouring rain, why not just park close enough (when your GPS says “good”) and then find the address on foot? It’s not likely that an open parking spot is exactly in front of the address you’re looking for, even if you manage to spot it from your vehicle.
I understand that. I agree we should try to mitigate our personal needs inconviening others. The guy should have turned and told those behind him that he was placing a large order that will take some time so they could make an informed choice. I’m only noting that long before he placed 20 {say after 2 or 3} orders you should have been aware that he was going to take more time than you thought. At that point you have the opportunity to mitigate your own delay and decide whether to stay or not.
None the less, you do it. And slow down even more if someone honks at you. Even if you are looking for an address, this is very bad behavior.
I agree. I really don’t get the need to go 10mph to find an address. Especially on a 35 mph street. That’s positively crawling. What if the address is on the left? They drive 10mph in the left lane?
And if its even just a moderately busy street, if you get unlucky and get stuck behind someone like this, your odds of being able to get around them are going to be slim.
A little foresight and planning can almost always prevent this. Note, I did not say always.
Then you should still anticipate that it’s reasonably likely you’re going to be in someone’s way. I mean, honestly, even in a non-busy store, how likely is it that you’re going to have an entire aisle all to yourself for any significant length of time? I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times it’s happened to me, and I spent 3 years doing all my grocery shopping at 3 am.
And it’s not just other people who would benefit from you parking on the side as a routine thing, it would save you time and hassle, too. Lookit, in one scenario you park the cart on the side, take your time perusing the canned veggies or whatever, people come and go merrily along in the lane you’ve left open, and when you’re done you move on. In the other, you stop to look for other people, park the cart in the middle of the aisle, and about half the time your perusal is interrupted and you have to stop what you’re doing, repark the cart, and then pick up where you left off. Isn’t it just easier to park the damn thing on the side as a matter of course and not have the extra hassle?
I don’t remember how many times I was asked to move my cart before I figured out that if I park it off to the side all the time, it isn’t as likely to be in someone else’s way, but I don’t think it was more than a couple of times. I had the bad luck to have been raised by people who made thinking of other people part of my upbringing, though, and that seems to have stuck.
Isn’t it just as easy to park on the side? I mean, it don’t cost you nothin’. So, net benefit to everyone around you for no cost. Seems like a no brainer.
As an aside, I’m in China right now, where it appears to be an entire country where culturally (or physically due to shear numbers) a lot of these behaviors that we consider rude are constant. When the subway doors open, it’s like a game of red rover where both sides are just pushing through. I wonder if a behavior is rude if it is ingrained in the culture.
Problem is, by then, you’re already in the store and standing in the queue and have lost time. If you look through the door and see two guys in the queue at your favourite sandwich place, you’re going to think “Great! Practically no queue! I can get that sandwich I want and have time to eat it enjoyably!”
Now, if you get inside and the guy in front of you says “Hey, just letting you know, I’m ordering for my entire department so there’s like 20 sandwiches there, and lots of them are really complicated, so it could take a while…” then you can thank him for his honesty and go elsewhere, and you can both feel good about being nice and what a lovely day it is. But if he says nothing, he could be three or four sandwiches into the order before you realise that he’s ordering one of everything, and there are people in the queue behind you, and you’re next, and he might be done in a second…
I will actually come to the defense of some of those that hold up traffic here. It really depends on the design of the street. If there is any street parking, or if any is available. It’s seems pretty rare to have a 35mph street with parking on it. In Denver at least (the City I am most familiar with) most residential streets are 20 or 25 mph. Most, not all 35 mph streets have commercial properties with parking lots in front. But here’s the rub, it’s easy to find the block, and turn into the parking lot and THEN search for your address.
And really, I do think it’s foolish and inconsiderate to drive at 10 in a 35. It would really kludge things up in Denver. Depends on the city I suppose. For areas where you would back up traffic I suggest being more prepared and/or going around the block after you locate the address. It’s safer, and allows traffic to continue to flow.
As a previous poster related, I too have seen cars stop in the middle of the street to have a conference without any attempt to just move to the side. These are the folks that think they are more important than anyone else. Not the other way around as the title to this thread suggests. Or, those folks are simply so clueless, that they don’t understand that their actions affect others.
Same with grocery stores really. Don’t leave your cart unattended where people can’t get around it. And if someone is behind you, don’t just stop without moving to the side.
I’m just trying to be clear. And digest this thread. I think many of us are arguing from such different positions that we could never come to a middle ground.
Not according to my reading of this thread, you haven’t. And I’ve read the whole thread. Sorry, you lose. If your first post was so different from what it’s being read as, maybe you should re-read your own posts, and ask yourself why so many people “misread” it. Maybe you “miswrote it.” Just a helpful hint, here, dude… 
I am under no illusion that anyone misread my posts.
I seriously think that he’s mildly learning disabled. I know he’s dyslexic. And I know that his mother used to hit him over the head with a broom to discipline him. A couple of times, she broke that broom on his head. He can learn certain things, and he’s an absolute genius at some things, but he just seems incapable of learning other things. Every time I point out that someone might want to get past him, it’s like it’s a brand new experience for him. If I want him to change a behavior, I have to be completely blunt about it, and I have to poke him in the side with a finger to get his attention. And I have to do it constantly. We’d have to go shopping about every other day for about four hours per trip, and I’d have to constantly poke him, for the lesson to sink in, I think. But he really doesn’t do this sort of thing to be obnoxious, he was just not raised to be considerate of other people in that manner, and I was.
And he’s the SMART one of his family, too.
Fortunately, our daughter got my brains and his physical health.
Don’t try to be reasonable. Don’t you realize that there are unwritten laws of society that are rigid and indisputable. Woe unto them that vary from the standard for they will incur the wrath of the just.
Go to any busy American subway and you get the pretty much the same thing.
We’re not discussing significant lengths of time. We’re talking about seconds.
Yesterday at the grocery store some lady stopped in the middle of the aisle thinking about something like maybe {did I get the ben gay yet?} As I started to pass her she actually backed up and bumped me ever so slightly, and said “Excuse me , I wasn’t watching where I was going” I smiled and said “No problem” and we went on our way. Total elapsed time; 4 seconds…maybe. I don’t think of that lady as some inconsiderate clueless dufus who just doesn’t care about people. I’m sorry if you don’t get that. Honest I am.
Holy crap you defenders of the standard are determined to be right. Now you’re pulling non existent stats out of your ass. Get real. We’re talking about nearly unconscious behavior habits. I don’t stop to look around before I choose where to leave my cart and who said it was half the time?
Yes, the ideal of never ever EVER letting your cart be in anyone’s way for 2 or 3 seconds is the ideal. I’'ve agreed that being aware and considerate of those we share spaces with is the right thing to do. The fact is it’s rare that someone has to say “excuse me” because my cart is in their way. It’s rare that I have to say “excuse me” to someone else for the same reason. Those rare encounters take seconds and strike me as no big deal, so they don’t serve as some lesson to alter behavior. It’s just a very minor event in day to day human interaction. Hopefully you keepers of the consideration flame can wrap your minds around that glimpse of human behavior. I mention that to make my point one last time.
Yes there are inconsiderate people out there and that is reflected in both sides of this particular discussion. My guess is that most of the time when we are impeded by someone it’s a singular encounter between you and that individual and we have no idea what their particular circumstances are or if this is part of their regular behavior. Maybe they’re inconsiderate and clueless , or maybe a family member died that day, or they lost their job, or they are getting divorced or any of a million other circumstances that might preoccupy their thoughts so they are unaware of you. So my act of consideration is to try and not judge strangers harshly when I have no idea what their circumstances are.
In an effort to be considerate, I’ll refrain from the nasty sarcasm while you consider that.
I lived in New York City for 25 years, and it wasn’t remotely comparable to what I saw in the Shanghai metro.
Cosmodan, I have no argument with almost everything you have said in this string, except this.
I think the point for those on the other side, and one I agree with in principle, is that this should not be “nearly unconscious behavior”. What most people seem to be arguing for is that people should be able to be not so focused on their errand that they unconsciously block the way for others, even for a few seconds.
Of course, if such an inconvenience happens, it shouldn’t be a federal case (warning: hyperbole alert), which is what some people seem to want to make of it.
It may seem that I am changing sides here, but I’m not. I’m in favor of courtesy, consideration and forebearance on all sides. It’s the last quality that seems to be severely lacking among some who have posted in this thread.
Roddy
Doesn’t Japan have ‘pushers’ that literaly push and cram more people into the cars?