It’s been awhile for me…I need a fix, so I’ll start off Feel free to substitute the appropriate follicle color…
Painting the Porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde said “How about 50 dollars?”
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”
The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” he asked.
“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
“And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
Blonde Bank Robbers
Two blondes decided to rob a bank. They planned the event meticulously over a period of several weeks. Then came the day to execute the plan. Buffy was the driver of the getaway car. They got to the bank and, as Wendy was about to get out, Buffy asked one more time, “Have you got the plan straight in your mind?” Wendy, of course, replied that she did; and Buffy reminded her that she could be in the bank for no more than 3 minutes.
Wendy went in as Buffy waited outside in the car with the motor running. One minute passed…then two…three…five…seven. Buffy began to get really nervous.
Suddenly Wendy emerged from the bank pulling a safe which she had obviously wrapped securely with the other end of the rope. Just as she got the safe into the trunk of the car, a security guard burst from the bank, unable to run very fast because his pants were at his ankles, hobbling him.
As they drove away, Buffy was furious at Wendy.