While donning my new sig spins around to show it off, I thought I’d pop in and compliment Arden on this doozy:
Surprise me.
moi, my friend, I think you forgot to put your sig on! :eek:
Any time, hon; any time!
Surprise me, please. smooch for getting a good sig 
Please get firm with me, I deserve it…I’m such a bad boy!!!
Either humorous or profound, on any subject whatsoever, although felines have been overdone, so you can skip over that subject, unless you come up with something unique on it.
Well here are some quotes, at least one said by a cat. I seem to have gone with profound. If any of you see one you like, you are welcome to it.
“It has been far too long since we sat beaneath the summer moon together and talked of pleasant firpperies, of that and of this, and left others to speak sensible things of import and consequence.” Lady Bast, Sandman
Flatter me, and I may not believe you
Criticize me, and I may not like you
Ignore me, and I may not forgive you
Encourage me, and I may not forget you
– William Arthur Ward –
Success is getting up one more time than you fall down.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
–Eleanor Roosevelt
"I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they're the ones who keep me walking the floor at nights!" --Warren G. Harding
“After love, the most sacred gift you can give is your labour.”
–Pennebaker
“Never let your story become more important than the person listening to it.”
- A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
– George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
Verrain
If you would please, I am looking for something that displays my wit and friendliness; things not immediatley apparent by my post count.
I’m also very patient so take your time.
Thanks!
Wow, that’s quite a list. I was torn between this one and the “Success” one, but what do you think?
Thanks, Verrain!
A fine choice, Kat. If you wish to show your appreciation, add, Thanks, Verrain! to the end of your .sig as a shameless plug for how witty a guy I am.
Surprise me, please. smooch for getting a good sig
Having been smooched in advance, I hope these quotes fit the bill.
Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain.
It’s not something you learn in school.
But if you haven’t learned the the meaning of friendship,
You really haven’t learned anything.
- Muhammad Ali
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely,
And with too high a spirit be encumbured with you old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If a friend is in trouble,
Don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do.
Think up something appropriate and do it.
- Edgar Watson Howe
"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody, a friend, to divide it with. "
-Mark Twain
I am as my creator made me and since He is satisfied, so am I.
~ Minnie Smith ~
Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours.
~ Ludwig Van Beethoven ~
Money can’t buy you friends; but you do get a better class of enemies.
~ Somers White ~
Contrariwise, continued Tweedledee, if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn’t, it ain’t. That’s logic!
-Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass
‘Well, now that we have seen each other,’ said the unicorn, ‘if you’ll believe in me, I’ll believe in you.’"
–Lewis Carroll; Through the Looking Glass
In those whom I like, I can find no common denominator; in those whom I love I can: they all make me laugh.
W. H. Auden
Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it. – Tallulah Bankhead
Truth is always exciting. Speak it, then. Life is boring without it.
Pearl S. Buck
Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric. – Bertrand Russell
“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
- Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. – Mark Twain
My cows deeply appreciate your consideration. Here’s what I got in gaming and draconic type quotes.
So a few spells and potions later I found myself with a flying, fire breathing ferret.
He asked me “Am I dead?” I responded “You are so dead that you could be resurrected twice and you would still come back as a corpse.”
He piped up “Your Majesty, we want to strategically burn down part of your forest–OOF!”
“Confucious says that we should all get along. We’ll be able to get along better with you unconcious.” Plato, the Troll Philosopher
My character lay there and died six rounds later…watching the rabbit hop away to his karate class.
He gloated. “My armour is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail a thunderbolt, my wings a hurricane, and my breath death!”
“One of those humans who think dragons are illiterate, mindless beasts who spend their time wreaking havoc on poor, hard-working, simple folk until some champion appears to do them in. You’re one of those, aren’t you?”
It is much easier to cast the dragon as the villain - burning fields, devouring livestock and peasants, seizing beautiful princesses, and challenging knights in armour. It all makes great reading even if it isn’t the truth."
“The others will forget. Humans have never wanted to believe in things of magic - dragons, unicorns, elves - but you know different. Remember me as I was.”
Dragons aren’t extinct, we’ve just learned to hide real well.
I agree, lances make great toothpicks.
You think I’m normal? We must not have met before.
War is Hell, unless you’re 200’ long and breathe fire. Then It’s Fun.
Real trouble–A dragon-breathing fire.
Here we go.
Understandably, you have to expect a little vanity in one who knows he has no peer, n’est-ce pas? Hercule Poirot
Perhaps when a man has special knowledge and special powers like my own, it rather encourages him to seek a complex explanation when a simpler one is at hand. Sherlock Holmes
If you wish to preserves your incognito, I suggest that you cease to write your name upon the lining of your hat, or else that you turn the crown towards the person whom you are addressing. Sherlock Holmes
Harriet Vane and Lord Peter Whimsey. “Do you find it easy to get drunk on words?” “So easily that, to tell the truth, I am seldom perfectly sober.”
“Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.”
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.”
“Have you ever noticed…Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.” –
George Carlin
“I would love to speak a foreign language but I can’t. So I grew hair under my arms instead.” – Sue Kolinsky
“You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax; tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.” – Pearl Williams
“I have a great diet. You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.” – Ed Bluestone
“If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.” – George Gobel
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
“For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.”
“I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.”
“Horn broken. Watch for finger.” – A Bumper Sticker
“It’s easy to quit smoking…I’ve done it over 10,000 times.” – Mark Twain
“Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that’s not true. I have the heart of a young boy - in a jar on my desk.” –
Stephen King
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile
away from them and you have their shoes.”
“In elementary school, in case of fire, you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the
logic? Do tall people burn slower?” – Warren Hutcherson
“There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you’re interrupting.” – Mark Twain
Thanks, but I got mine from handy just today…
Ok. Surprise! You don’t get a .sig! Just kidding. Try thses on.
Ok. Surprise! You don’t get a .sig! Just kidding. Here we go.
“What in heaven’s name brought you to Casablanca?”
- “My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.”
- “The waters? What waters? We’re in the desert.”
- “I was misinformed.”
I’ve wrestled with reality for thirty-five years, and I’m happy, Doctor, I finally won out over it."
“You speak treason!”
“Fluently!”
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence,
try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Sometimes a winner is just a dreamer who never gave up. - Anon
There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings. -Hodding Carter
The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. - Eden Phillpotts
There are two ways of exerting one’s strength: one is pushing down,
the other is pulling up. -Booker T. Washington
Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence. -Robert Frost
I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.
We are born with our eyes closed and our mouths open, and we spend our whole lives trying to reverse that mistake of nature. -Dale E.Turner
Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. -Seneca
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. - Albert Camus
The older I get, the better I was.
Nothing is more terrible than ignorance in action. - Goethe
Sometimes it’s a little better to travel than to arrive. -Robert Pirsig (Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance)
When I think over what I have said, I envy dumb people. -Seneca
Cigarette smoking is a major cause of statistics.
Unknown, Message in fortune cookie
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
Wilson Mizner (1876 - 1933)
Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all. Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799)
By the time I’d grown up, I naturally supposed that I’d be grown up.
Eve Babitz
If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.
Quentin Crisp
Quit worrying about your health. It’ll go away.
Robert Orben
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams
A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and
then quietly strangled.
Sir Barnett Cocks
I have such poor vision I can date anybody.
Garry Shandling
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.
Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
Paul Valery
I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time.
Orson Welles
Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.
Dandemis
Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)
If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can’t be done.
Peter Ustinov
I need something witty and nice, describing ME, not some yokel three provinces over
Then please tell me about yourself. On the first page of this thread purplebear gave a description of herself, if you could provide one like that about you that would be great. Else you’ll have to wait while I comb the archives looking for your stuff to discover the real you.
Well here goes.
If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right.
It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.
Walt Disney (1901 - 1966)
Sometimes I’m so sweet even I can’t stand it.
~ Julie Andrews ~
Two men look out the same prison bars; one sees mud and the other stars.
~ Frederick Langbridge ~
Optimism is the cheerful frame of mind that enables a teakettle to sing, though in hot water up to its nose.
Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours.
~ Ludwig Van Beethoven ~
Sexual harassment will not be reported, but it will be graded.
Duck! I’m about to have fun!
Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced,not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
Tom Robbins
Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
Dave Barry
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do standing up in a hammock.
David Farber
I have what I think are really sound philosophical
reasons for playfulness.
Tom Robbins
Let me know if these work. If not, I’ll keep looking.