Giant, Foot-Sized Stucco-Eating Land Snails Invade Florida!

[Yllaria]

@Darryl_Lict

Yeah they are. I remember seeing this article about cooking them. If i lived in Florida, I’d definitely try eating giant escargot if I had enough butter and garlic.

Odd that they’re still a problem, then. Maybe if we spread the rumor that they were endangered because people had found them delicious when properly repaired.

[burpo_the_wonder_mutt]

Wet Blanket reporting in:

I’m not so sure I want to eat something that’s been ingesting stucco.

[Yllaria]

@burpo_the_wonder_mutt

Wet Blanket reporting in:

I’m not so sure I want to eat something that’s been ingesting stucco.

I’m pretty sure that “properly prepared” (not repaired) includes setting them to eat lettuce or oatmeal or something for a few weeks, to let them get all the stucco and other unpalatable things out of their systems.

[Your_Great_Darsh_Face]

@Walken_After_Midnight

They get a bad reputation, but if you’re able to coax one out of its shell you’ll find they’re actually very nice, especially in a footlong.

I got one out of its shell. It made the poor thing very sluggish.

[G0sp3l]

@burpo_the_wonder_mutt

Wet Blanket reporting in:

I’m not so sure I want to eat something that’s been ingesting stucco.

Yeah, stucco. THAT’S the problem. :rolleyes:

[Scumpup]

I made myself a little queasy imagining the sound of crushing one of these vermin. I think it would sound like a Japanese beetle, only louder and wetter.

[Battle_Pope]

@Scumpup

I made myself a little queasy imagining the sound of crushing one of these vermin. I think it would sound like a Japanese beetle, only louder and wetter.

You left out the screaming.

[Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus]

@CalMeacham

Walk! Walk for your lives!

Will Dr Von Scott’s ingenious plan for blimp-based salt drops work to save the people of the Sunshine State? To find out, return to this theater next week!

…and the week after that
…and the week after that
…and the week after that…

Snails As Big As Shoes Are Kind Of A Problem In Florida | HuffPost Weird News?

The post starts with a clip from The NeverEnding Story, too!
[/QUOTE]

[DrDeth]

@Battle_Pope

You left out the screaming.

The snail? Or you? :eek:

[Battle_Pope]

@DrDeth

The snail? Or you? :eek:

Both

[Chimera]

@stillownedbysetters

Just look at that s car go!

I’d think SyFy Channel would be all over this. They can do one of their blended monster-disaster movies…Snailnado? Escarphoon?

Lots of quick scenes of people running or standing and looking frightened/screaming before they’re hit with a bucket of slime. Slime rivers running down office buildings.

Hmm, Nickelodeon can probably give them some pointers.

[Baker]

I think we need a separate thread to write the screeplay for a giant snail horror movie.

[Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus]

@Baker

I think we need a separate thread to write the screeplay for a giant snail horror movie.

As long as we can have the blimps, sign me up.

[Yllaria]

It’s a Dire Snail! Run!!!

or, er, walk away briskly.

[Wile_E]

@burpo_the_wonder_mutt

But where else are you going to get this kind of entertainment?

I swear, Florida’s “national pastime” is discovering all these mutant life forms AND REPORTING THEM incessantly. What happened to the dinner-plate sized, poisonous toads of a few years back? The 40-feet-long-Python infestation in the 'Glades? The yearly love-bug clouds (so thick you can’t drive your car through them)? The list goes on and on… .

We do like to consider Florida to be the Australia of North America.

Also, I would like to add my voice to those that are totally against bombing Florida.

[Skywatcher]

@Baker

I think we need a separate thread to write the screeplay for a giant snail horror movie.

Finish the B-Movie Sci-Fi Story?

[burpo_the_wonder_mutt]

@Wile_E

We do like to consider Florida to be the Australia of North America.

Also, I would like to add my voice to those that are totally against bombing Florida.

We lived in FL for 13 years, had to leave for economic reasons, but are planning to come back ASAP. Keep the latch-string out and the dogs tied up.

This bombing business is a ridiculous bluff: everybody’s elderly parents live there; I mean, that IS where you sent them, right? And they TOOK THEIR MONEY WITH THEM.

[CannyDan]

Bombing won’t be necessary. Florida is flat and barely higher than a good spring tide. It won’t be too long before those small, backwater towns along Florida’s ‘central ridge’ (of slightly higher land) are oceanfront property. Of course, our esteemed governor Valdemort ordered the staff of the State’s Department of Natural Resources to never, ever use the words “global warming” because – well, nobody is sure. But we damn well aren’t going to recognize it, and it will then just go away! Maybe we should all put our heads down into an armadillo burrow.

[Baker]

@Skywatcher

Finish the B-Movie Sci-Fi Story?

It’s been forever since we did a “Finish” story on the Dope. Tell you what, I’m going to think up an OP, and sometime Friday evening I’ll post it. When I do I’ll mention it here and give a link.

Are you in Skywatcher? You were a fan, back in the day!

[Skywatcher]

@Baker

It’s been forever since we did a “Finish” story on the Dope. Tell you what, I’m going to think up an OP, and sometime Friday evening I’ll post it. When I do I’ll mention it here and give a link.

Are you in Skywatcher? You were a fan, back in the day!

I don’t know. Other than the synergy which came together in this thread, such things aren’t generating much interest. I’ve recently bumped a couple and they don’t go anywhere.