Giant killer snails are attacking! Walk! Walk for the hills!

I thought "mucus’ was the noun and “mucous” was an adjective.

Just call it “snot” and be done with it.

Ngh.

But these are giant snails. And they’re hermaphroditic! Plus, if you turn them over, they kinda look like a vagina.

What?

If garlic butter is not the answer, then I for one don’t even want to know what the question is. :smiley:

This is what happens when you let those free-floating, disembodied little-girl heads get out of control . . .

I wonder if those snails could be trained to attack cilantro plants? I really, really hate cilantro. I’d rather tip-toe through a sea of super-sized snails than ever taste cilantro again. I’d rather wash my face in snail snot than taste cilantro.

God, I loathe cilantro.

That’s great and everything, but how do you feel about cilantro?

In the Dungeons & Dragons roleplaying game, if your character is a dwarf you may be able to make the little fellow into a Dwarven Defender. This is a martial character that specializes in defense, as you may have guessed from the name. This means lots of heavy armor, and a great big tower shield. Dwarves already move more slowly than humans and elves, and all that armor slows them down even more. So some wag over on the official D&D forums has, as his signature, (paraphrasing), “Look, it’s a dwarven defender! Everybody walk quickly!”

My supermarket carries it… but it’s usually in the end-of-the-row “sale, sale, sale” spot and for some reason the pile doesn’t seem to get low very fast (unlike, say, the packs of cookies - yesterday the refillers just got fed up and instead of trying to rebuild the pyramid of Marías Fontaneda were serving directly from their cart)

Wine is mostly for “with food”, but it’s rare to hear someone ordering a glass of wine in a bar. Beer is very popular for out-of-meals drinking. And well, I’ve seen tanques of beer (5-liter plastic glasses, a 2-liter is a tanqueta) but not of wine or sangría. Before anybody has a heart attack, tanques are supposed to be for sharing :stuck_out_tongue:

And then we could deploy them to Iraq. The whole thing would be over in a week.

Not true. Dwarves aren’t affected by encumbrance like the other races are. In fact a Dwarf of medium or heavy encumbrance moves just as quickly as a human or elf of medium or heavy encumbrance.

Yes, I am a geek.

Maybe that’s what they’ve been using all along and that’s why it’s taking so long.

Ravenous Hermaphroditic Gastropods = new band name

Better give it a month.

It would take them that long to cook…?

All I can think about is a deafening chorus of the chortling-baby-like vocalizations of this guy, punctuated by an occasional

“CRUNCH!!!”

What if the folks in Barbados are agents of The Nothing ™?? :eek:

D’OH! What was I thinking? I knew that. Really, I did. Honest!

When I first saw the header I thought Barbados must have been overrun with a snail from Papua New Guinea that looks similar to these pretty green snails but grows much larger (hand sized or larger) They look nice, but swarms of them come through and devour your garden in a night.

What’s all this talk about forming an army? As anyone knows, the proper vocational direction for slugs is to go to art school, followed by a regular gig at a disreputable free metropolitan newspaper.

Yeah, but these are snails.