One of the lawyers in my office took the Bar exam in July, and will get her results in October. I am certain that she will pass. I have been looking for a gift for her, and found a copy of a newspaper article about the first recorded argument by a black attorney in the U.S. (he won). It was in 1791. The soon-to-be attorney is black. Would it be offensive or tacky for me to get her a copy of the article as a gift?
Or should I just go to a Coach store and get her a nice briefcase?My best suggestion would be to look at her home or office or wardrobe, and see if she uses other decorative items that commemorate achievements by black people. If she does, the article is probably in line with her identity and could be a very nice gift.
If, on the other hand, she keeps her personal space bland but impeccably appointed, you probably can’t go wrong with the Coach briefcase.
I don’t know about a Coach bag, but I would rethink the article idea. Not because it’s offensive, but because I think you’re more likely to cause an awkward situation if you give her that gift.
I have a good reason for saying this. Most people just want to be seen as an individual. Unless your firm is diverse, your coworker probably already feels like the “black” attorney. Now…she may embrace this feeling or she may resent it. It depends. I like to think of myself as a proud person, someone who embraces all of her identities, but I don’t consider myself a “black” ecologist. I’m just an ecologist. I don’t want someone to see my race before they see me, as a person. I know it happens without people meaning to do it; but I don’t want to be reminded that it’s happening, ya know? I don’t want my background to be an afterthought, but I don’t want it thrust in my face all the time (when I’m with my boss, this kinda happens. He’ll talk to me about his worries for his adopted son, who is black, and talk about his random confrontations with various racists…I know he doesn’t do this to the other people in the lab and it makes me a little uncomfortable).
That article may convey to your coworker that that’s all you see her as. Not an attorney, but a “black” attorney. Unless you know her well and know that much of her identity is tied to her racial/ethnic background, then I wouldn’t give her the article. To sum it up, it assumes she gives a shit about black history or black pioneers. Not everyone does, and this includes some black people.
But save it, though. Maybe you’ll be more comfortable giving it to her (or at least letting her read it) later.
Monstro, that was exactly my fear- that she’d think I was seeing her race before her accomplishments. I don’t want her to think I’m making a big deal out of her race. But the article is really interesting from a historical standpoint. Perhaps showing it to her in a context other than “gift” is a good idea. Thanks.
Granted, I don’t know much about racial issues in the USA. However, it seems blatantly obvious in this case that it might be sensitive.
So, in this situation, the fact that you’re not sure whether or not it could be perceived as offensive by your friend is a good enough reason to find another gift. If you can’t tell for sure, you’re not on a safe ground.
We live in an age which has moved beyond racism. Her being black simply isn’t a factor and thus should not factor in your choice of commemorative.
Your TV must have been broken for the last three weeks.
I think it’s a very thoughtfull idea myself. But I do agree it would be a rather awkward moment if given to her at the office.
Doesn’t this suck though? with crap like this how are we EVER gonna bridge the gap?
Geez! it’s infuriating sometimes.
Get her a Leatherman Multi-tool. It’s the gift that keeps on giving for all races, creeds, colors. professions and sexual preferences!
You’re from the UK, right? As I understand it, race relations aren’t a big deal over there, but here in the US, they’re godawful, and you do have to take things like that into account in a situation like this. I think that the vast majority of American blacks would agree with monstro here.
I think it would be a cool gift, however it isn’t something that you should give her until you really know her a bit better and can figure out if it is something that she would enjoy.
Leave it to her to collect race-specific items. Get her a racially-neutral gift. A nice pen never fails.
I wouldn’t give it to her because it is corny and it does show that you were really putting her race in the forefront beyond her accomplishment when its probably the last thing on her mind.
I wouldn’t give it to her. I’ve been in the receiving end, and while it’s not exactly -offensive-, it gets annoying because I don’t care about others in my demographic any more than anyone else does. I’m an individual, not some minority group.
In light of the fact that we’re trying to build a color-blind society, I would vote that you not give her the newspaper article as a gift.
I’m often the only western person that my Japanese collegues or friends personaly know and there are things which I don’t mind my blindly obviously foreigness pointed out, and other things which I would really annoy me. If you don’t know this person well enough to know how she would react, then I wouldn’t do it.
Get the briefcase.
The briefcase is a very sensible, unadventurous, safe gift.
But I prefer Harriet the Spry’s suggestion, along with monstro’s cautious warning. If your young attorney is at all the type of person who admires and collects the memorabilia re: the accomplishments of African-Americans, it will be reflected in her wardrobe, library, artwork and other decorative items and then this may prove to be one of the most thoughtful and perceptive gifts you could give her. (You can tell I’m an “aim for a homerun out the ballpark” type when I pick out gifts, right? Autographed books, limited editions, collectibles… I’ve done it all.)
Also: there’s always somebody at every professional workplace I’ve worked at who’s the official “interesting article sharer.” If this is you, it would probably not be out of character for you to share this article with her. I’m not an attorney and I’m interested in reading that article, too. (COUGH. Hint, hint.)
Why not do both? Slip an copy of the article in an attractive slender folder and put inside that briefcase you have in mind and include a note to the effect that you hope she’ll find the article as interesting as you did.
I like the Leatherman Wave idea. You never know when she’ll be on a plane that goes down on a deserted island and she’ll have to start a fire, build a hut or extract a tooth.
StG
Actually, if Quartz is from the UK, his/her notion that “We live in an age which has moved beyond racism” is just as bizarre as it would be in the United States. Race is still an issue in Britain, and anyone who says otherwise has been living without any contact with the outside world for the past ddecade.
As for the OP, i’d say that the very fact that you had to ask the question on this message board suggests that you are probably better off avoiding the article for the moment. If your friend were a vocal advocate for more black attorneys, or someone known for having a keen interest in the history of African Americans in the US legal profession, then it might make sense.
But if she has never made this an issue, then there’s no need for you to do it either, in my opinion. She might not necessarily find it offensive or tacky if you give her the article, but i think the briefcase is a safer option.