Girl tells girl I'll think about it. What does it mean?

Hi everyone. I’m a girl (28) and I recently came back to my home country after 10 years. The other day I got a friend request on Facebook from a girl (28) who I was friends with 12 years ago. Obviously then I moved and we never saw each other again. I had a crush on her back then but never did anything. So I thought I might try my luck this time. We started talking and I asked her for her number, texted her to ask if she was single. She said ‘yes’. I asked her if she was interested in anyone and she said ‘no’. So I asked her if she would like to date and she said ‘Let me think about it… ok? kiss smiley’.

It’s been a day now and I haven’t heard anything from her. I’m a girl and I have no clue what she means by this. I don’t know if I should keep hoping or not.

P. S She has exams for the next 2 weeks so she might be busy but I see her active on facebook and WhatsApp all the time.

  1. Do you know if she’s bi or a lesbian?
  2. Why be so impatient, it’s only been a day. She may be contemplating whether she want’s to go down that road with you. Giver her time. And if she say’s no, then let it be.
  3. Don’t let your own emotions dictate how she should respond.

Yes she’s definitely bi

As a straight male, I just want to say that it’s refreshing to see that women can have as much trouble reading signals from a woman as men do.

As a potential date, I’d narrow it down to two possibilities. Either she’s thinking,

1)“Damn, after 12 years I just reconnected with this person the other day and now she’s asking me out? That’s kind of a hurry.” Or,

  1. “Let me think about it” is code for “Not interested” from someone who doesn’t want to use that phrase.

Whichever one it is, it’s clearly out of your control. It’s ok to stay connected to her, but she has to be the one who makes the next move (assuming she’s interested.)

I’m not so sure it’s just the “hurry” part that apparently took her aback.

Welcome to the SDMB, rkosmint.


I don’t claim to understand any women. But here is my assessment: she is heterosexual. At a time you were in her social circle and she found she wanted to play up a bi aspect with you for whatever reason. After 12 years she doesn’t want to go into that mode with you. If she were really interested in a lesbian relationship, but just not sure about you, she would at least include you in some non-date social interactions. Unless you are a social pariah no one wants to hang out with, or burned a bridge with her in some major way in the past.

She means that she literally needs time to think about it. She can’t answer on the spot. She’s ambivalent.

And to be polite, you won’t bring it up again. If her answer is ‘no’ then she doesn’t want to have to say that to you. She wants to keep on being buddies without dating. Without that ‘no’ marring it.

She’s not interested, and very polite.

You haven’t seen her for 12 years, and you didn’t indicate in your post that you’ve spent any meaningful time together since you’ve returned.

She might be interested in getting to know you better (forget how well you may have known each other before) and maybe from that a relationship will develop.

This sort of thing goes for any type of adult relationship, regardless of the genders of the asker and the ask-ee. You don’t just come back around and expect someone to be able to answer “DO U LIKE ME Y/N” after figuring out they’re single.

I have observed lesbians are very “flocky”. So if she were lesbian she would have invited her to a social gathering instead of just saying she would think about it. (Unless the OP is a pariah or burned a bridge.)

It just occured to me: the OP should ask her if she can introduce her to other lesbians.

As usual, The Simpsons has an answer for everything