Okay, I missed that part on the first read-through. But so she’s a real woman. So what? There is no doubt in my mind that this is a scam. She’s either working it alone or in conjunction with her husband or boyfriend. The only way this could not be a scam to get money is if she was desperate to emigrate from Africa and would “fall in love” with the first available sucker. But the fact that she is obviously inflating the airline ticket prices is proof of a scam rather than just desiring to emigrate. Even if he coughs up the money she wants for the ticket, you can bet there will be other requests for money for this or that.
QFT
We’re going back to the US this year. I have assured the wife there will be no President Trump. I just hope we can get the move completed before the November election in case I’m wrong.
The best move the OP could make at this point is to inform his beloved that he will be making arrangements to visit her in Tanzania soon. Her reaction to this will will speak volumes. However, a cautionary tale: A few years ago, a Singaporean businessman fell prey to one of those Nigerian scams – I think it was Nigeria, but you know the type of scam – and after he became frustrated with the lack of progress on the other end despite him putting in so much money and voiced suspicions that this could be a scam he’d fallen for, the perps invited him to travel to Nigeria to see the operation for himself. So he did. And was promptly kidnapped and held for ransom as soon as he stepped off the plane. So even a physical visit is not without its dangers.
That was my point, above. Even if this weren’t a scam–even if she really is “in love” with him–that love is clouded by the circumstances, and could be very problematic. If she is legitimate, the OP should live with her in Tanzania for a while–at least six months–before even considering engagement, let alone moving her to the States with a fiancee visa. If she’s legit, she’ll be happy to have him there. But really, from the information we have here, it’s hard to tell if she’s even legit.
Hey guys, I just wanted to give an update about my past real life relationships. I once had an open relationship with this one girl. We met when she came over to do some project, we exchanged numbers and it took off. She gave me my first kiss and after that we locked faces for a little while. This went on for about five months or so, called me with her issues like every night. It didn’t work out for numerous reasons, I wanted a closed relationship but she didn’t. Choose someone else over me who ended up breaking up with her anyways. When she wanted to get back together, I was already with this girl and she wasn’t very happy about it obviously.
We stayed as friends, and it has worked out a lot better. I think she still has feelings to a certain extent but I try to keep that at bay. She makes a better friend then a partner for sure. My girlfriend knows about her, but doesn’t care as long as I never mention her.
I thought you had various bit streams - email, video chats - those are bit streams and nothing more.
You are assigning real meaning to electronic pulses. And electronic pulses, aka bit streams are NOT people. They are not even alive.
If this source of bit streams wants to meet you as much as you want to meet a real woman, “she” would have already made the arrangements.
Wake up before you spend any more time and energy pursuing a non-entity.
And: once more: NEVER SEND MONEY.
If she is real, she can find a way to meet.
If, as we all suspect, she is a fraud, the moment she learns no money will be forthcoming, she will drop.
If she sticks around and can actually give you a date, time, and gate number, I, for one, will be quite happy to be proven wrong in my assessment of “her”.
> I am currently self studying for a certification in networking. I am aware I need to
> find a job in order to be able to support her.
So you don’t have a job at the moment. What do you live on? Are you living in your parents’ basement? Do you have a college degree? What jobs have you had in the past? Why do you think you can get a job if you get this certificate? So are we to understand that you’re 26 years old and this is as close as you’ve ever been to getting a job - studying for a certificate that you think might get you a job? Where would you get the money for her ticket to the U.S.?
I’m getting the impression the OP has decided we “just don’t understand” or doesn’t want to hear our thoughts which differ from the reality he wants - given he’s got time to tell us about his past relationship history but not time to respond to/comment on any of the excellent pieces of advice/suggestions/observations offered by the other participants in the thread.
I think it’s funny how T-Minus posts non sequiturs that in no way acknowledge the comments or criticisms the Dope community offers. He doesn’t appear to even be reading these posts.
Ohhh, I get it. ** T-Minus** is hoping that once he brings the Tanzanian girl to the states, she and the ex-girlfriend will jealoushate each other’s guts for a few hours until they discover some common ground, hit it off, and have lots of sexy lingerie pillow fights that he’ll be invited to watch.
I want to debunk a few things, might be my fault for not being more detailed.
I came up with the 2,500 dollar ticket price. I found much better prices that some others mentioned.
She doesn’t want money from me, in fact she wants any money I do have to go to education.
I am not ignoring any of your posts. I learned quiet a lot about the reality of visas.
She is working to try and find a job. I am just going to have to tell her we should visit each other a few times. Thanks for saving me time and maybe a visa disaster of some sort. She wanted to move to Europe with me at one tine, but with the state of it now I don’t want to go over there.
I see a girlfriend as a person you have an emotional bond with primarily. Yes, I would like to able to hold her hands and actually kiss her. She has helped me a lot in motivating me. I am not sure if I see the same “scam” red flags as you guys. I will talk to her about visiting each other. Honestly I was breaking my two year wait before marriage rule.
Last night she helped me get through the night while I was sick
If she is a scammer I don’t think she will be too happy with the idea of waiting. I am studying for ccna, it’s 150 dollars per exam.
The heart wants what it wants, reality be damned. It’d be nice for T-Minus if it worked out the way he says he wants it to. EVERYONE here is skeptical and has told him that. I suspect if one cared to use some “google fu” they’d find he’s posed his situation on other message boards and has received similar feedback. But we should remember that this is True Love, that blessed arrangement, that dream within a dream, the treasure that will follow him forever. In all honesty, in this situation, I think T-Minus would be better off yearning for a hard boiled egg*
So, from my experience here I predict:
T-Minus, after failing to get the reassurance/affirmation he desires here will disappear from the SDMB.
T-Minus might stick around to continue to defend his choices and go ahead with the process of bringing this woman from Tanzania to the US. As the inevitable complications and problems crop up on her side that can easily be resolved by a fast infusion of US dollars, he’ll either:
. a. disappear from here to avoid reading a chorus of SDers telling him “I told you so”.
. b. or mention them here to be met by a chorus of “We told you so” and then he’ll disappear.
I’m sorry to admit that the latent sadist in me regrets that it’s unlikely T-Minus will stick around to share with us the story to come. I haven’t enjoyed some good schadenfreude since Casey Serin finally tucked in his tail and hid from the internet, although there have been some contenders like Amy Steele. But let’s face it, the bottom line is “It’s not my circus, not my monkeys.”
*I wonder how many SDers will catch that reference.
T-Minus, I’m sure I can speak for most of us at SDMB. We all wish you well, even if we are proven wrong. In return for our honesty, I hope you will extend the same courtesy to us. Will you promise to keep us informed, no matter what the outcome? Unlike some groups, I think we will accept if we are wrong, even if we are betting against it. Heck, if you end up marrying this [del]scuzzy dude[/del] beautiful gal, we might even set up an anniversary party a year from now and toast your success.