When debating these sorts of matters, we must always acknowledge that different people want different things. Even making arguments based on innate biology doesn’t get you out of this, because genetic variation and phenotypic plasticity ensure that innate biology is slightly different for every living person.
CalD, you seem resistant to the idea that people could choose to forgo something without believing that it is inherently or universally wrong. To make such a choice may or may not be logical, but it’s nevertheless quite common. Choosing to enter a monogamous relationship cannot be taken as an implied condemnation of casual sex in general. It’s interesting to consider why people who don’t believe that casual sex is inherently bad or degrading might still choose to give it up in favor of marriage, but you seem to be going further and insisting that the act of getting married or even “going steady” PROVES that one considers sex sacred. That’s a leap too far, in my opinion.
What’s with all these young women just itching to go have some NSA sex? I thought those codebreakers were, like, total nerds.
I respect peoples’ right to do it, but NSA sex does disgust me as much as any other disgusting sexual fetish, and I wouldn’t be interested in a girl who wanted it. However, I don’t have a double standard for men and women on it; if anything, I think less of the men who do it than the women. But that’s just my opinion, and I don’t claim that anyone else has to listen to it.
What hasn’t been said yet (or if it has, I’ve missed it.) Is that the above statement can be said for a single person.
The OP seems to think folks are cast in stone. One once ‘morally loose’ ( :rolleyes: ) can never be an upstanding citizen.
My libido waxes and wanes with the tides, my tastes have wandered over the years, I’m a consummate devoted husband. My ability to NSA as a youth was greatly hampered with the unfortunate combination of my personality and my looks. Would I if I could? Hells yes! Do I miss it now that I didn’t? Not really. Am I any more or less upstanding, based on my lack of success? I hope not.
I suspect the original thrust of the OP was meant as one with a religious bent. To borrow another religious saw: Those without sin may cast the first stone…and if you sin in your mind, it’s as bad as sinning in fact. So if you’ve ever wanted someone, you’re as bad as those that have followed though with it.
Most memorable eavesdropping moment ever happened while walking across campus last spring. A gaggle of babes was chatting about the weekend when I happened to overhear one little cupcake make this comment:
“So then I said, are you going to talk to me, or are you just going to strip me?”
I’m afraid my strangled cough tipped them off and I never did hear the end of the story. But I don’t have to guess too much.
I wouldn’t care if people reliably had safe sex with people, strangers or otherwise. But the unwanted pregnancy/abortion, and STD rates suggest a lot of people aren’t nearly as careful as they should be. Both of these things cost society money and labor to take care of the ill or unwanted, so society gets to look down their noses at people who are perceived as being the most likely to contribute to the problems.
Really? Enlighten me, I have no idea how I’m supposed to feel in that sort of situation. The first two women who bedded me found me quite limp with nerves.
Curiously, many of the members of society who “look down their noses at people perceived as being the most likely to contribute to the problems…” have little reserve when it comes to engaging in protection-free sex themselves. Hypocrisy knows few bounds but is most pronounced in the area of human sexuality.
“Dont you know that its different for girls?”
“Dont give me love…!”
“No not love”, she said
“Don’t you know that its different for girls?
You’re all the saaaaaame…!”
…not thread-shitting, not replying to any post. Just singin’ along to the radio…
I don’t think less of women who have casual sex. What pisses me off is when you meet a girl and all signs point towards casual sex but then they get all weird at the end of the night. Thanks for wasting my time, you giggly broad.
Assuming **nevermore **is wrong and **CalD **isn’t being intentionally obtuse, the question is really “why does someone go from casual NSA sex to a committed monogamous relationship?” The answer is “the reasons vary”. But one of the primary reasons is that having true NSA isn’t all that easy. Oh it’s easy enough to hook up with someone. But rarely are there no emotional strings. She wants to see you again but you don’t. You want to see her again but she doesn’t. You’re getting older and hooking up with random strangers isn’t satisfying anymore. You just want someone to cuddle with and share yourself with or whatever. You get sick of the singles meat market scene of going to clubs and bars and competing with a room full of douchebags for some drunk barfly’s attention. Or maybe you just find someone who fills your needs and you don’t want to be with anyone else.
There are two competing philosophies here. No one wants to be the guy/girl tied down at 23 but they also don’t want to be the oldest guy/girl in the club at 45.
You mean beyond the fact that no form of birth control works all of the time, and the guy in question will probably never know, but the gal in question will be facing a pretty big decision if she is fertile and if the birth control, if any, didn’t work?
Probably very little, except that the odds of AIDS transmission are greater for her. (I’m going mostly by a very professionally delivered seminar, but they gave an excruciatingly logical explanation for it.)
My WAG is that “crabs” (genital lice) is a “balanced” risk for each.
As a guy who has never had a one night stand, I think that emotionless, NSA, getting one off, ***one night only sex ***doesn’t cheapen the male or female… it cheapens the act of sex.
Every sexual experience that I have had, I can guarantee was something qualitatively and quantitatively better for myself and my partner than the dispassionate sex with multiple one off partners. Sometimes I feel bad for sluts because they have a disconnect with the sacred and emotional aspect of sex.
It’s not an either/or situation. Someone can enjoy NSA sex and also have deeper emotional experiences at other times. I’m not sure what you consider to be a slut so could you define that a bit more clearly?
Do you allow for the possibility that some people may appreciate the “sacred and emotional aspect” while still enjoying sexual acts that do not have this aspect?
Somehow I doubt that. I personally would never attempt to **guarantee **that an experience I’ve had is qualitatively and quantitatively better than one I’ve never had, assuming of course that we’re not comparing, say… swimming and cancer. :rolleyes:
Sluts= Men and women who have multiple sexual partners at any given time. I’d say someone who is having sex with more than 3 different partners a month with no intentions of long term dating and their only motivation is gettin’ off.
I mean, sometimes I wish I were a pornstar but then I think what a hollow and horrible sex and emotional life that must actually be. Sex without a consience is just fooling yourself and horribly selfish.
