[QUOTE=Askia] Spatial Rift 47. This sounds like Greek to me, but whatever. OMIKRON say this once. THIS IS MY HOUSE. If PHI ever see NU step foot on my LAMDA again, TAU’ma knock you UPISILON the head, then put a KAPPA in your ass.
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Steeling my puns? That is totally lamé. I have more punning power tin a small little silver of my pinky finger than you’ll ever have. You don’t have the metal to meet my challenge. You’d best iron out your misconceptions, or you’ll be hard pressed to so much as use a dictionary when I’m done with you. And then I’ll really get steamed.
Spatial Rift 47. You confuse thievery with homage. I was inspired. b But I won’t even try metal puns; you’d claim I was METAL-ing in your business ORE I that I wasn’t being FERROUS.
Askia, you can ham it up all you like, but by now you must see that rose and I have you porked. No sausage words of wisdom can save you now, not even if you get down on your knees and start bacon. The steaks are too high, and you are udderly defeated, and I will milk this for all its worth. I cud show mercy, but I won’t. So you’d best be mooving on before you are totally creamed.
Look, I’m the Number One Punner. You two are Pretty Fly For A White Guy, but let’s face it: I’m The Real Deal. Why You Wanna play me? Maybe when you two can figure out when it’s Going Down, or you can Drop It Like It’s Hot, then maybe I can Be Without You. Right now, I’m not inclined to give you another 4 Minutes of my time. You Hustlin,’ Can’t Let Go, and Torn. But I might forgive you if you can get your sisters to Gimme Some Head.
– brought to you by Billboard’s Hip-Hop Top Twenty.
Song titles? You’re scraping the bottom of the burial now. Stooping six feet under like that is a grave insult to an actual punster. Heaven only knows why you thought you could get away with such a hellishly poor excuse for real puns. If you stop coffin up such worthless child’s play, I might be so kind as to teach you some real wordsmithing.
SEED, I know this would happen. This almost became another SDMB POLLEN, but I STEM-ded the tide and stayed ROOTED, kept moving, PEDAL-ling, and for what? Just so you could LEAVE me? Stick me in a heavy book, man. Like a forsaken lover, I am dePRESSed.
This is just sad. I almost feel bad for what I’m about to do. Almost.
Weather you are hot or cold frontin’, your puns blow harder than the force of a 100 foot tall Rush Limbaugh after a giant espresso. You don’t have the eye of the storm to see how brutally you are stretching these words. You gale force them into doing what you want, until they howl for mercy.
True punning is exactly like jujitsu. Words flow like water over the landscape of our minds, and by ionically bonding with them, the molecules of thought, you can really feel their chemistry. With unmitigated gallium you grab bits of words that fit your purpose and jam them in, leavin the rest of the word to turn to jelly as it fails to preserve itself.
To really capture the art, you must let the words paint their own picture, while you’re just brushing by.
On average, I’m much beta and less deviant than all you punsters. Well, I am a bit statistic at times. Some find me mean, but my mode is more sigmafying than any actuarial violence.