Dude. I’m 39, just got divorced, had my two children who I love so much it fucking hurts taken several thousand miles away to Oregon and I’m gonna be lucky if I can afford to go see 'em once a year, had operations on my right shoulder and elbow that caused a shitload of pain, went through bastard withdrawal from the pain meds they gave me for that and have further ops on both elbows and my neck to look forward to.
I still have perfect moments. Too fucking old and ugly for that angst bollocks.
Yesterday I had, not just a perfect moment, but a perfect day at work. Every single thing went right, every detail fell into place and I made real, genuine progress on the highly visible project they have me doing right now.
I’m 55, by the way.
Excepting the year of my divorce, every year since I turned 18 was better than the previous one (I am 43 now). This year in particular, I fell in love again (she’s sitting right next to me now) and things are looking up.
Life is what you make it. Quit drinking so much for starters and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It’s a self indulgent waste of time.
Things started becoming consistantly a whole lot more fun for me about the age of 37. And now I’m 49, and just got back from a fabulous vacation with the wife, which was filled with a number of “perfect moments”.
Otherwise, life pretty much sucked until the age of 32, when I sobered up.
Local author William Warren wrote: “The gift of Bangkok is that it never bores.” I have not found any truer words anywhere.
I am well into middle age, but every day here is a new adventure for me. The bar scene is like a cross between Russ Meyer and Star Wars. We just had a military coup overthrow the government nine months ago, and there’s lots of excitement still from that. Many of the world’s wonders, such as Angkor Wat and the Kathmandu Valley, are practically a stone’s throw away from my front door. Vanessa Mae lookalikes greet me at every turn. I have summer year-round. And I’m married to the greatest little Thai woman the world has ever seen. Life just gets better and better. Sometimes I wonder if someone will pinch me, and I’ll wake up and find myself in some godawful hole like Plains, Texas.
Ya know, Lobsang, just as in business it’s all Location, Location, Location, so it is in life. I know nothing about the Isle of Man, but it could be you need a change of venue. I did not escape my podunk small West Texas city until I was well into my 20s, and until I I did, I felt much the same way you do now. As soon as I got out of there, though, life became one giant triple-loop roller-coaster ride, and I never looked back. Think about moving somewhere new, or at least taking a major lengthy trip. It could do wonders for your outlook.
I’m 37, I’ll be 38 in a couple of months.
In about a week and a half, my longtime sweetheart, the thoughtful, geeky, soft-hearted guy I’m lucky enough to call my husband and I will be joining our amazingly smart, funny, charming teenage son and our goofy, lovable, insightful seven-year-old son at The Best Cabin On The Whole Oslofjord. They will have been there three days already with aunts, uncles, and cousins (plus one bunny rabbit), just part of the big clan of wonderfully weird in-laws I’ve somehow been lucky enough to stumble into.
And that’s not even counting our upcoming Geeks’ Paradise tour of the Mid-Atlantic states.
Life is good. Life is very, very good.
I wouldn’t be 17 again for all the money in the world.
Life for me is great beyond the 40 mark. Everything done and learned up until then started clicking into place three years ago now, and it just keeps getting better. Work-wise, professionally, I’m doing what I love to do, but with way more confidence than I’ve ever had before.
My favorite stretch of life so far was early and mid 40s. There was a painful bit in the late 40s but it’s looking up again. And, no question, I like who I am better now at 50 than at any earlier age.
Plus, I got my well pump replaced yesterday for a third of what I thought it would cost, and I’m going hiking with one of my favorite people in the world in a couple hours. What’s not to like?
Today’s Fortune Cookie Message Brought to You By Shirley Ujest
It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves. ( Edmund Hillary)
I think that’s the heart of the matter right there. Everyone’s got a sob story; there comes a point when you just have to say, “Enough. I’m done with that shit, and I’m moving on with my life.”
Dude, I had my ultimate perfect moment at the grand old age of 37. I am confident there are more to come.
Life throws a lot of shit at you that you have to deal with, but to a certain extent you can engineer your own luck too.
No shit, look at all those hot chicks in bikini’s.
Lobsang, I recently turned 30 and I think I know where you’re coming from. All my life people have told me that life gets better after high school and college, and I’m still waiting to believe them. Life got a lot harder and less fun after 22. A lot of hard work hasn’t reaped many rewards, and that’s frustrating as hell.
But I’m hopeful.
I really believe after I put aside the dead-end job I held for most of my 20s, things are going to fall into place. Some combination of misguided optimism, naiveté and misplaced loyalty kept me there and that job really has kept me from being able to afford to do things I want - like buy a house. A week ago I learned that I was being jerked around again, for the last time, and screw them. My immediate goal is to find a much better job within the next six months.
And maybe that’s your problem too. Not a job, necessarily, but a lack of direction. Do you have goals? Ones that’ll take you the places you want to go? It’s easier, far far easier, to just accept a bad lot in life than make the effort to improve things. It’s painful to accept it too, but it’s not that hard to put that pain aside and convince yourself it’s not worth trying something new.
So what are you doing towards finding those perfect moments? They’re not just going to come, I’m pretty sure of that now.
Well, duh!
To reiterate, everyone has a hard life ( real and perceived.)
Deal with it and then Move on. 90% of the population never get over the things that they are suppose to deal with. They just get mired in the quicksand of misery and oh-boo-hoo-me. Don’t be one of those people.
Quit the drinking. The rest of your life is waiting for you.
Not to sound trite, but it’s really what you choose it to be, brother. At 28, I’d bought a house, had a great job and felt like I had the world by the ass. By 34, I’d been tossed out on my butt, the company closed, and I was embroiled in a contentious divorce. At 39, I’d moved from my little cookie cutter urban house to a modest place in the woods, and for the first time in my life was a Dad. In the last 11 years I’ve watched my little girl grow, almost got myself killed, steadily built my business, and have rediscovered love with a wonderful lady. It may not always be up, but the ride has been damn interesting. 
Whatever has you in a funk shall too pass.
I mean no disrespect to you (and everyone else) by saying this: I have long ago grown tired of people telling me to “stop drinking” on this message board. Really I have.
The habit to drink which I have is far too complicated to be solved by people with whom my only interaction is conducted via an internet message board. It is a habit I may or may not have for the rest of my natural life. I had it long before I became a member of the SDMB (and long before the difficult emotional issues I went through during 2005-2006)
People on said message board should accept me for who I am now. That is: An occasional binge-drinker (for recreation. I really do enjoy it!) who no longer lets it seap into ordinary life.
These days most of my posting here is done completely sober. What I post is usually something I feel worthy of contributing.
I enjoy drinking (all the more reason to disaprove of those who say stop) and I am old enough to know what I am doing.
That said: Shirley Ujest I appreciate the sentiment of your words. I know your motives are pure and noble. I don’t know what else to say.
Already I am regretting this.
Wait until I am sober, and I will explain myself better.
Tell ya what, you stop asking for advice about why your life sucks or whatever and we’ll stop pointing out what is one of the most obvious causes of your problems. Deal?