Ever heard the phrase “terminally unique”? Scroll down this page to the Ts:
I’m not saying you’re an alcoholic, nor am I saying you need to go to AA. I am, however, pointing out that “No one understands how complicated my problems are” is a classic line that alcoholics use to rationalize their continued drinking.
Also: What hajario said.
To answer the original question:
Yes. Life gets better and better, at least the first 35 years. The more time you’re around, the greater your ability to figure out what kind of life you want and to achieve it.
Over the years, I’ve gone through some pretty deep depressions. Ever since about six years ago when I didn’t kill myself, I’ve considered every day a gift. I should be dead already, but here I am, getting to walk along the beach, hear beautiful music and experience some interesting things. Every once in awhile, a bunch of little things come together and I have good moments. I don’t think I’ve had a perfect moment since (coincidentally) just before 9/11, but I have had a bunch of good moments. From my perspective, things really do get better and better; all you have to do is let it in.
Oh – 45 years old. Keep plugging away at it. You just may be surprised by how well things work out.
I turned thirty in January and can empathise with you. I hope that I can find pleasure in the future without reinventing myself as some self-interested positive-thinker, constantly blowing my own jolly trumpet. That whole “…if you’re not a capitalist at 30, you’re a fool.” thing makes me sick. But the successful contented adults I see around me seem to be either having kids, on a sort of permanent Gap Year with their parents money, or adopting a homogenised ‘pro-active’ persona to rise the corporate ranks.
The only option I can see is to retrain with a skill so as to get a job I like, in the meantime appreciating the transcendental pleasure of music and nature, and delicious booze.
Last weekend I was home; Mom brought over The Nephew (21mo). Seeing him study me, compare me with Mom and say “aunt!” - oh gosh, excuse me, I need to wipe the drool off the desk.
The last time I found myself humming was just walking down the street. It was a sunny day, I’m living in a country where I actually understand the language, I’d gotten some cherries that looked absolutely delicious as well as everything that had been in my shopping list - what’s not to like?
The best year of my life so far was the one when I was 34. I’d been promoted from a weekend-shift lab job to a project position that took me to over a dozen countries and had me working with people from 20 others; I was working at my highest speed (rather than having to stand on my brakes as usual), obtaining results, and the customers knew that the results we got were Not Normal and thanked us. What’s not to like?