I always found, for myself anyway, that the easiest, least stressful method was to be as casual as possible. Avoid using “date” words at first, like “go out” or even “with me.”
Highly informal words like “catch,” as in “wanna catch a movie sometime?” or “grab” as in “how about we grab some lunch/dinner?” tend to be less…predatory, for lack of a better word.
I also like such non-predatory words as “snare”, “trap” and “shoot”.
[QUOTE=Telperien]
Not only do guys often not get the hints anyway, but it’s not really all that fair for the guy involved to have to be the one to ask the girl out or proposition her. It’s time a few more women took the initiative.
[/QUOTE]
Totally agree. But in return guys have to stop thinking of those girls as ‘desperate’ or ‘too aggressive.’
And in return, some women need to stop thinking that “this one asshole I knew” == “all men”, which is a theme I’ve seen come up several times here of late.
[QUOTE=Cat Fight]
Totally agree. But in return guys have to stop thinking of those girls as ‘desperate’ or ‘too aggressive.’
[/QUOTE]
I have never personally had that problem. Mostly they seem relieved to be asked out. But yes, some guys think of girls who ask men out as too aggressive. I suspect that is also highly correlated with those same guys sitting at home griping about how no women are interested in them. 
Guys, guys–we’re forgetting the issue at hand! Quasimodal might be hooking up with his hot babe at this minute!!
Come on Quasi, tell us how it went!
Details Dammit
[QUOTE=Cat Fight]
Totally agree. But in return guys have to stop thinking of those girls as ‘desperate’ or ‘too aggressive.’
[/QUOTE]
If I ever meet such a guy, I’ll be sure to put him straight.
[QUOTE=Zoggie]
Oooh, did it work? 
[/QUOTE]
He accepted! The only problem so far is that I included so many qualifiers in my invite (by email, btw) that I have to clarify what I invited him to. But I’ll do that today! Or this week.
I seriously thought he’d say ‘no.’ sheepish
[QUOTE=Gala Matrix Fire]
He accepted! The only problem so far is that I included so many qualifiers in my invite (by email, btw) that I have to clarify what I invited him to. But I’ll do that today! Or this week.
I seriously thought he’d say ‘no.’ sheepish
[/QUOTE]
Good work, still.
[QUOTE=fetus]
Yeah, but she was SUPER HOT. And really artistic–she has a film degree now and she’s working for an independent film studio in LA; she’s probably produced at least a short movie or two by now professionally, and her undergrad work was amazing. Really open-minded and artistic…right up my alley. Or up her alley, if only I hadn’t been so dense. :smack:
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, one of them was a model…abnormally pretty and now she’s in Vegas/LA last I heard.
sulk
Do you think maybe she killed him?
[QUOTE=Red Barchetta]
Do you think maybe she killed him?
[/QUOTE]
Or they hooked up and he is too busy right now with other things to post in this thread.
As long as it’s not the scenario with the bath of ice, pain in the back, and message written on the mirror in lipstick. :eek:
[QUOTE=Quasimodal]
By the way, thanks for the reassurance and encouraging advice. As a teacher…may I say you royally suck at reassurance. In my life I’ve run a half marathon, moved to a small town to become a successful teacher, lost 50 pounds, worked many jobs to make ends meet…and I’ve done so all on my own. Yes I have asked women out before…but frankly I think the women I’ve asked have been too short sighted to see that I’m a hard working, caring human being, that also likes to have fun. This may be no different…but sometimes it’s just nice to have some reassurance when you’re doing everything on your own.
It’s nice to know you can sum up my personality from 2-3 posts. Any other grand observations?
[/QUOTE]
I think you’re taking the advice the wrong way.
I’ve made enough money to retire at 54, I’ve won a World Championship, I’ve had several trustworthy male friends for decades and at my last job the boss told me to write my own contract. Nevertheless I am very nervous at asking women out. From your posts, you are too.
Go ahead and ask her. Don’t think your whole life depends on it, but bear in mind you will certainly get better asking women out the more you do it.
Tell her to get her pants on and make you a cup of tea,I’m sure that 'll win her over.
I hate to report so late…but things are looking positive!
On Monday we just didn’t meet up in the 3 hour timeframe I had…so I was embarrassed to report back here. I looked everywhere for her and left feeling defeated…but perseverance is a virtue.
On Wednesday I stuck around for 2 freaking hours until she got away from a meeting. Even after that some stupid teacher wouldn’t quit talking her head off at her. I eventually made up some lame “professional” reason to talk to her for a few minutes. It turned out good! I’m getting good vibrations; when we first met again on wednesday she was talking to the other teacher…and the moment I entered she lost her train of thought. I think we both had a moment of realization. Where were at now is I’m going to be giving her a music lesson on Friday after school. We’ve been facebooking for the last few days as well.
Keep the positive thoughts coming…this may actually have a happy ending!
[QUOTE=glee]
I think you’re taking the advice the wrong way.
I’ve made enough money to retire at 54, I’ve won a World Championship, I’ve had several trustworthy male friends for decades and at my last job the boss told me to write my own contract. Nevertheless I am very nervous at asking women out. From your posts, you are too.
Go ahead and ask her. Don’t think your whole life depends on it, but bear in mind you will certainly get better asking women out the more you do it.
[/QUOTE]
I think you were phrasing your advice in the wrong way. Especially when you speak about me in the third person. I know a thing about motivating people as I work with young children who are easily discouraged when they don’t meet success.
Rule of advice #1: Be Positive
#2: Use someone’s name in a positive manner.
#3: Don’t predict failure…predict success.
#4: Be positive.
Did you try any of that in your “advice?”
Thanks for rephrasing and addressing me properly in your recent post though.
Apologies…I didn’t realize you weren’t the original poster Glee. Direct my comments at the original poster.
What music lesson? (please don’t say accordion). It sounds like fun–and not as much pressure as dinner and a movie (which is great, but not the first date).