I’m currently grappling with this one. It isn’t that I don’t like to buy and give gifts in general, I’m just finding it incredibly stressful lately. We have 6 kids, 3 are married and 4 grandkids. And for Christmas I’m somehow also responsible for buying for Ex Wife, her boyfriend and his 2 kids (don’t ask). Since most of these people are currently unemployed, I’ve been thinking of trying some kind of white elephant or something. I would still enjoy getting gifts for the grandkids but I could make the cutoff there. It’s all just so wasteful and everyone has better uses for their money. I’m pitching the idea on Thanksgiving, hopefully it goes well.
I find gift giving to be hard but very satisfying work. I don’t look forward to it, but once I find the right gift, I have a great sense of accomplishment, especially if it turns out that the person really liked it. What I dislike the most is when I get no feedback - I don’t need a thank you, but I would like to know if the gift was something you appreciate and use or if it was just chucked in the trash or regifted.
All books?
For me, it’s mixed. If I have some idea what the person wants, can find it, and have the money: that’s fun. If I have no idea what they want, and/or don’t have the money (both of which are all too common in my life): then it’s a worry.
On the other hand, I have a number of family and friends who love garlic. And I grow the stuff, and make braids. So that part is both fun and easy.
All books is an unalloyed delight. Paper books, not electronic. I grow my own garlic, so that’s taken care of.
My boyfriend is great at gift-giving. He’ll pay attention to little cues in conversation or behaviors of mine. For instance, I kept borrowing his slip-on sandles to wear around the house, so he bought me a pair of my own, in my own size. I worked from home off of a tiny laptop, so he bought me a computer monitor and a mouse that lit-up in rainbow colors. I mentioned that I loved a retired scented body wash from Bath and Body Works, and he found it online and ordered one for me.
But he does need guidance sometimes, and so what we’ve done there is that I provide enough guidance that he knows what I’d like, but leave it vague enough for it to still be a surprise. For my birthday this year, I told him I had worn out most of my sweatpants and winter boots and would love some new ones. He did the research and found me some great, comfortable, warm, soft, and snuggly sweatpants and boots. Last Christmas, I made a wish list on Sephora’s website and then gave him free reign to pick some items off of them and pay for them.
The key to gift-giving is usually that it needs to be specifically customized to the person, to make it fun. When my brother got engaged to his Indian girlfriend, for instance, I made them a customized Taiwan-India flag canvas art decoration. For my girlfriend last year (sadly, now my ex,) I made her customized canvas prints of her Facebook and Gmail profile images.
That’s what we did last year - it was hilarious and I got this as my gift:
It has a place of honor over the basement fireplace! 
This year, I suggested that we all shop at a thrift store, the only rule being the gift has to fit in a car, so nothing ridiculously huge. No price limit, and no hurt feelings if a gift goes back to a thrift store. Plus the charity that runs the thrift store will do better with our money than Amazon or WalMart. It should be fun - I’ve already gone a couple of times looking for just the right item…
Designated gift-giving days are for the birds. I impulse shop year 'round and just give stuff out of the blue. “I know it’s not your birthday, but I saw this and thought it suited you, so here.”
I don’t quite agree with ths. I do enjoy giving my loved ones gifts for no reason though. In general, I get great joy and satisfaction out of gift giving. I love flea markets and thrift stores. Fer eksample, a relative took me to a new store. The store buys freight containers, dumps the contents in big boxes and sells almost everything for $1 each. I bought my mom (who loves Baby Yoda) a new plush BY. I bought my sister in law (who LOVES Lego and is accredited in their bricks for STEM program) a LEGO booklight.
I too would thrill to find a $1 Baby Yoda you lucky sob! 
No not into gifting really. I send food or flowers on infrequent occasions.
My husband and I agreed, decades ago, not to give each other gifts for birthdays/holidays. But we do give each other quirky cards or odd little things on random occasions.
I have some rules for giving gifts that make things easier (and cheaper). In my family, adults don’t give each other gifts (with an exception I’ll mention later). I don’t know if this applies to gifts between husbands and wives, since I’m not married. I give my nieces and nephews and now grandnieces and grandnephews (henceforth, n/n/g/g) Christmas presents up to the point they graduate from high school. My Christmas presents to them consist, first of all, of books. I have no problem with getting a used book, reading it myself, and then giving it to my n/n/g/g. As long as it’s clean, it’s a good present. I tend to give standard classics for their age group. I also give them standard games (like checkers, chess, go, and mancala). I give them things related to origami, cryptograms, paper airplanes, optical illusions, moiré patterns, cheap microscopes and telescopes, crosswords, other kinds of puzzles, simple science experiments, frisbees, yoyos, etc. Recently I’ve found a source for free and one-dollar comic books and throw in a few of those. I give the Christmas presents to all the children in one family. I would never give two siblings the same present so they can each have their own. If I and my siblings had to share everything between the eight of us, they can learn to share things among the two or three of them. The child’s parents can decide if they want to give them more expensive presents and ones intended for just one child. I’ve also had some “virtual” nephews and nieces who were the children of close friends, and I gave them Christmas presents.
The exception about adults giving other adults presents is that at our extended family Christmas get-together we do an exchange where we each bring one wrapped present. We throw those presents in a pile. Each person then takes one present not knowing what it is. The present has to be fairly cheap and has to be related to that year’s theme for the exchange (a color, a shape, an initial letter, a topic, etc.). Afterward there can be some trading of presents.
Another rule is that giving presents should not be a competition. If it’s turned into a competition for you, it’s screwed up. Stop doing that.
Mostly dread. It’s cool when you find that “perfect” gift for someone but that’s not always possible.
My one suggestion that has worked for me multiple times in the past when buying for adults: crystal. There is a range of quality, depending on what you want to spend. If the recipient is rich, it’s nice and can suit most decors. If the recipient is poor, it could liven up a drab space.
Crystal what? Vase, desk clock, drinking glasses, sure…the mall usually had a variety of options, some of which could be engraved. Someone just became a judge, doctor, loves baseball, works in a school, loves dogs…?
Giving gifts is fun. Every so often, I’ll find the perfect gift for someone I know, and that’s great.
It’s finding gifts that’s a chore. Or, more often, trying and failing to find gifts, before ultimately settling on just another gift card.
Not to rain on your parade, but my reaction is “Great, something else to dust…” But refer to the OP - I lean towards the practical, so maybe a crystal something that I can use without fear of breaking might be a hit with me.
In recent years, I’ve leaned towards gift cards to restaurants, or maybe tickets to a show or event.
Not a chore, I don’t dread it, but I do feel damn resentful that I’m expected to do it.
There are many (most) holidays in this country that I’m not a fan of simply because it’s become ingrained in our cultural DNA that we must act and behave a certain way. I don’t like Veteran’s Day because of all the parades and flag worship. I don’t like Valentine’s Day or Easter because of the bombastic and unapologetic commercialism. Thanksgiving is welcome because it emphasizes togetherness and family connections; other than buying food there’s not a lot of commercialism involved.
Christmas, of course, is an entirely different monster.
I’m not religious in any way but I do like some elements of Christmas, mostly because the lights and busy schedules help with my anxiety and depression. I do not like, however, the gift-giving aspect of it. I in no way want to be obligated to get people junk they won’t use just because of some cultural or familial expectation to do so. The same applies to birthdays. We celebrate another trip around the sun for that particular individual by giving them some tchotchke that will hold their interest for 3 seconds then be forgotten? Utterly pointless.
On the receiving end, my wife claims that I’m hard to shop for. Bollocks. I collect shot glasses, cookbooks (if anyone out there has 1st – 7th edition copies of The Joy of Cooking they want to unload…), and watches. Any of those will be welcome. Gift cards are always welcome. We’ve been together for 21 years, she knows this. But to hear that I’m “hard to shop for” makes me feel like I’m just a burden and that just drives home the idea that gift giving is done because of a social and cultural obligation, not a genuine desire to get someone a nice gift.
There are a few exceptions to this but they truly are few and far between. Giving gifts at a wedding is nice because it’s rare to find a couple that doesn’t need anything and giving vaguely useful things that may get rarely used (a nice cutlery set, for instance) is still acceptable. It’s also a good time to think outside the box. For our wedding 18 years ago the best gift we received was a gift certificate to a local car tune-up & tire service shop. It was enough to get mended a longstanding problem one of our cars had, and that was a huge relief.
My wife’s family is huge and all local so Christmas is nightmare. In the old days we gave a gift to every family that showed up so we would end up buying 10 or 12 gifts and receiving the same, all junk that had no use. (Seriously. We once were going through boxes getting ready for a move and came across a box buried in the back of a closet. They were Christmas gifts that we had received 5 years earlier. We had put everything in a box when we left my MIL’s house on Christmas day and literally had not opened it again until that day 5 years later. Everything in the box went in the trash.) Now we draw names so it’s marginally better but my wife still insists on buying a gift for everyone under the age or 5 or so — and there are a lot of kids under 5.
I do like picking up random gifts that are unexpected or carry no social or religious obligation. I pick up specific but unexpected things for my wife and kids now and then not because I’m obligated to but because I know they’ll like it and actually use it. I bring treats in to my classroom now and again for no other reason than I can do it. A few months ago I found, in a thrift store, a set of Pfaltzgraff stoneware canisters that matched the dinnerware set that my parents had – and had long been discontinued by Pfaltzgraff. Of course I grabbed them and gave them to my folks.
Those are the kinds of gifts I like giving.
But if I’m expected to give or receive a gift? I’d rather not.
I find people in my life like consumables–their favorite expensive candy, nuts, dried fruit, seasonings, alcohol, depending on the person. As I age and have more ability to buy what I want, I still appreciate books and music, but also REI/EMS cards, Powell’s books cards, Penzey’s cards, money to fund a nice meal while traveling, local restaurant cards, local gourmet food cards (e.g., the olive oil and vinegar store a couple of hours away; local organic butcher), annual parks passes and similar, garden/landscape store gift cards…
I love giving gifts. I love just happening to run across something that would be perfect for someone and giving it to them. I love receiving thoughtful gifts. I resent being obligated to give or receive for the sake of a day, so for the most part, I don’t do that.
Mom, of course, gets something every year, usually consumables or gift cards to her favorite needlework stores. The kitties will get clearance Halloween toys wrapped in crinkle paper because we enjoy watching them play with it. Hubs’ family gets hand made stocking stuffers because they use them. That’s it for Christmas gift giving.
Don’t bring up the Secret Santa thing. That’s not Christmas and its not an obligation when you choose to participate.
Same here. I agree with other posters that there are lots of social occasions where gift-giving has been reduced to a boring and burdensome superficial “social tax”, and it would be nice to cut back on the gift expectations for those situations. But real meaningful gift-giving will never not be fun and memorable, as far as I’m concerned.