I think it has to do with density- a ‘regular’ poop, that is, a poop that is released soon after you realize “I have to go” often is a fairly effortless affair for me; I sit down, kind of straighten my back out, the poo slides effortlessly out, and I kind of give a little twitch (kind of like a pee shiver).
If, however, I wait for whatever reason, that ‘I have to go’ sensation will go away for a while. Sometimes this makes me forget I had to go in the first place, and even if I go when the sensation comes back, it is a much more difficult affair. I have a sensitive heiney, and excessive straining in the past has let to, ahem tearing in that reigion which is not fun! :eek: A very dense bowel movement seems to have some sort of independent will of its own, suddenly it does not want to leave the colon, and I am forced to assume the 'put my head between my knees, grab my ankles, and bite through my tongue straining".
Often all that huffing and puffing is all directed at producing a nugget the density of a plutonium sphere, which felt like a massive jagged boulder slowly inching its way out my GI tract. Not fun. So those ones usually take a lot longer to produce. I really hate it when we go out to eat, I’m somewhat hungry but I also have to poop. I am usually forced to go to the bathroom and ‘jettison some weight’, then wash my hands very thoroughly. Usually my appetite goes up (made more room for myself? )
Another time consuming aspect for me is wiping. I have a lot of hair down there, which makes it really hard to get completely clean. In fact, I try to go poop at home, not because I’m grossed out by public bathrooms, but rather because if I have the time I can jump in the shower after I’m done and hose my ass off and get some antibacterial soap lather around that area to be 100% my hieney is clean
I once had an uninterrupted one that laid out flat (lieu, you would have helped me do that, right, buddy?:D) would have measured 2 feet. I was so impressed that I took a picture of it and slipped it in with the pics of my wedding. Guess that’s why I’m divorced now!
But my God! It was ART! I really hated to let it go!
The only thing that comes close to it now is when I clean the lint out of my dryer screen. If it comes off all in one piece, I know I will have a fine day!
In a week ot two, I’ll have the TV on after Saturday Night Live, and probably see the following on one of those “Amateur Night at the Apollo”-type shows …
“Now, white people, when they take a shit, they’re all gruff and stiff, and ‘dat shit don’t wanna’ leave their body. Maybe it’s because their asses are so flat! [nasal white accent] ‘Hi, I’m Norman, I’m white, and I have to deficate. Grrrrrrrrunt! That was pleasant!’ [/nasal white accent] We black people, our shit just slides from our booty. Smooth and slick, like the way we walk. Must be all the soul food our mamas feed us! Maybe all that shit up there is why white people walk like that!”
Hey, did I tell you about that really long … uhh, urine movement I had a few weeks ago? Timed it on my chronograph: two minutes, ten seconds continuous from first to last drop.
Damn, I wish I’d known about that site and had a digital camera for the poo I made yesterday - shaped exactly like the Greek letter phi - odd thing was, both ends were over the middle section. Still not sure how that worked out.
Seriously, though, I have always wondered about this! I have a friend who goes into the bathroom for 30 minutes to shit! What the heck is he doing in there?!? Whereas my ex-boyfriend would only take 5 minutes. I, on the other hand, take about 1 minute, tops.
Seriously, men, why does it take you so long to get it out? I just don’t understand.
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