This is a lifelong mystery to me. It takes me at most 30 secs to get it out. I spend more time wiping than pooping.
Are there any other animals that spend 5 minutes or more just to poop? Its ridiculous.
Don’t you know that if you were in the wild you would be so vulnerable to attack squatting like that for so long?
Squeeze it out and c’mon already! Life is waiting and you’re sitting on the pot.
Hmm. Maybe I should spend more time pooping and less time posting.
Maybe they don’t eat enough fiber? 
I’m with you, TG. Never understood what folk were doing in there so long. Personally, I can think of nicer places to read the paper. I wait till I need to poop, then go to the john and do it.
because where else in my office can I sit down and read the paper without someone bothering me?
You can get away with a good 15 minutes in the bathroom like 3 times a day…
although I only have to crap maybe once… and it only lasts about 15 seconds… thanks to rasin bran every morning…
Even if I was an animal on the hunt, I don’t think I’d rush my prey right in the middle of a big dump. In fact, if I was getting chased I’d probably crap all over the place.
This is a shitty thread.
Did you know cavemen got more fiber than we do?
Shit. I used to work with a guy who read the Bible in the crapper.
because haste is dangerous - an early clench could result in “cigar clipping” which leads to cling-ons…
Hell if I know, as I expressed in this thread. Unless I’m sick, I’m in and ou w/in a few, and I sure as hell don’t want to sit in there, smell my own shit, and read. It’s a lot more pleasant on my comfy couch.
Really? That’s disrespectful. When I was little I once asked my mom why we have to fold our hands for bedtime prayer. And she said, so that we don’t pick our nose or play with our butt while praying. So, practicing religion while performing bodily functions = no-no?
Whatever would possess you to time other peoples’ bodily functions?? :eek:
Cause I have to go! and I’m standing out here waiting on YOU! What are you doing in there?
I think some people just use it to have some quiet alone time. I’m a quick person myself–but IME it’s kind of a guy thing?
Regurgit, Madeline L’Engle has a story about talking with a seminarian who claims that he has no time for prayer. She comes back with “Why can’t you do it while you’re in the john?” I think God already knows that we poop, although it’s probably best to keep a reverent attitude in prayer as much as possible. 
Holy shit!
Tripler
Oh c’mon. I can’t believe I was the first one to think it.
fiber challenged
Because we don’t just push and plop as soon as we feel the urge. We suck it up to give us time to get to the toilet. Then we need a few minutes to coax it back down to the exit. Then it eeeeeases on out. Then we wait another minute to see if their’s anymore. Than another minute, cause we really want to make sure we’re done, we don’t want to have to go right back again. Then we wipe. Then we realize that there was a little more left. Then we push a little bit cause this last piece doesn’t come out so easy. Then a bit gets stuck to our butt, and we get frustrated. Then we wipe again, but longer this time. Then we pull up our pants, gather our things, flush, and leave.
ARRGH! “If there’s any more” is what I meant.
Finally. An honest, detailed answer to the question. Thank you, pizzabrat .
Why does it take longer for some people?
Why are some people tall? Short? Fat? Skinny? etc…
It just takes longer. Accept it and move on with your life, and thank whatever ultimate being you may pray to that you have it so easy.