What makes everyone think our shit offends God?
When I was on this job making $32.65 bucks an hour, I told the fellas:
“Hey I need to take a dump, It’ll take me about 15min, in that time I’ll have made about 8 bucks. Yes my shit is worth more than the lunch that made it”
I love that story, good times…
A Plea For Tolerance and Understanding
or
Ask the Leisurely Pooper
I am sensing on this thread a certain superior attitude by the RDF (Rapid Defecation Folks). For shame. Just as all cultures are equally valid, so too all habits of the commodal community, and I ask you for comity in the commodal community. We are all God’s children and we should be wise and tolerant and inclusive of everyone – by which I mean you have to be tolerant of my group.
We need some cultural awareness. Do you think the leisurely crowd wanted to be this way? Do you think it is a choice? Do you understand how some of us struggle with this condition – to the point of grunting? I wish I could just waltz into the bathroom and be done in the time it takes to think about it. But it’s not like that.
By way of explanation, when things just won’t get moving, it’s like when you are ready to leave the house with dear old mom. There you are, all set to go. But you just wait. And wait. You know the routine. First she has to make sure the stove is off. Then she has to make sure she didn’t accidentally extinguish the pilot light when she checked on the stove. Then, did she close the refrigerator door? Okay, she checked that and we’re all set … but wait. Are the upstairs windows closed, because it might rain. So you wait. And then she’s checked the windows and you’re all done and ready to go … but wait, is the back porch light on? No, it’s off. So we’re all set then and away … Wait a minute, did we lock the back door after she check if the porch light was on? And finally you are so sick of the delays that you tell dear old mom to blow it out her ass.
Wait, I’m mixing my metaphors here.
Well anyway, it’s my first post about poop. I finally feel like a full-fledged member here.
ROTFLMAOPIMP over that $8 thing!
I don’t understand how some of my friends can enter a stall, piss, poop, and leave before I’ve gotten the seat cover on and my pants down. At my fastest I still can’t use the toilet as fast as most of my friends at their normal speed. What’s up with the lightning-poop? What’s the damn hurry?
Then again, I realize that I have a larger bladder than most of my friends, which results in my waiting OUTSIDE the bathroom every other hour, while they only have to wait a measley 7 minutes once or twice a day for me (think day at Disneyland if you don’t get the waiting thing). Why do these ppl have to go so damn often? Cut back on the Aquafina, amigas!
To quote Mr. Rogers, “I like to take my time.” Excremeditation is underrated.
You have to kind of ease into it, you can’t just go all rapid-fire, you’ll get bunghole blowout.
A good leisure shit is kind of a therapy for me, I got a stash of catalogs in there. Its a nice way to pass some time. To prevent attack by the wild animals I lock the door, and I have never heard anybody complaining about the smell of their own shit.
Now you have.
Here’s one, TGWATY, you have kids?
My time on the crapper is my precious time alone.
And my friggin’ wife still bothers me in there.
My boyfriend and I live with my brother who is older then us. Now he is a bigger guy and this does get frustrating. Everytime we go to use the bathroom he’s pooping… And he takes half hour shits. HOW THE EFF does someone sit on a toilet that long!? He says he poops the whole time. If I pooped that long I think I would have to flush half way through to not clogg the damn thing … Also the ring around your ass from the toilet seat isn’t that cute! Also his GF takes just as long … HOW! I literally waited 45 minutes for the chick to get out so I could get ready for work … My boyfriend has now left his tooth brush in the bedroom so he can atleast brush his teeth before being late for work … Also sitting there with shit on your ass for awhile doesn’t that give you a rash or something? Or dry up and crust to your ass? … I don’t understand …
Read, or did the Sears&Roebuck run out?
Not quite, but Sears & Roebuck filed for Chapter 11 in the time this thread was last answered, and KLC2013 posted.
Aeons have passed man . . . aeons. 
Tripler
Zombie thread makes me wonder if zombies poop.
It’s been 10 years and a month, roughagely, since the last post prior to it rising from the cess pool
If you took 2 shits a day (not you in particular), that’s more than 7300 loaves pinched. By any definition, that’s a shit load.
I have a suspicion… tell me, is your brother fond of wearing sequined jumpsuits?
Don’t rush me! I’m almost done!
Who… does number two… work for?
zombie or no
savor the moment.
or
savor the movement.
What’s the hurry?
I know pizzabrat is long gone. But does anyone know what is meant by this? How does one “coax” a poop?
It’s like snaking a drain, except you use a length of coaxial cable.