As I think we’ve all noticed, people are different. This difference does not end at the bathroom door, and I’m not just talking about who can stand up and who can’t. I’m talking about the mighty poop, and this question does not recognize sex differences.
Some people go in, disrobe, drop the torpedos, wipe, flush, re-robe, wash their hands and exit in just a few minutes. They might have time for one short magazine article, or perhaps the funny pages.
Others go in, disrobe, sit, and read several chapters of War and Peace before they’re ready to wipe and start the closing ceremonies. These people may flush several times during the procedure.
Does medical science yet understand the difference here? I know the jokes about “uninterrupted reading time” and “only place the kids and the dog won’t follow me”, but it seems many of the Slow Poopers can’t speed up the process even when they’re in a hurry otherwise.
Diet? Do Slow Poopers eat less fiber or drink less water than Speedy Poopers?
Does it have to do with when one answers the call of nature? Perhaps Speedy Poopers only notice the signals and begin heading for the throne room when most of the pre-evacuation work has been completed, while Slow Poopers feel the urge much earlier in the process.
Or, erm, what exactly is going on here? Inquiring minds gotta know, while we’re waiting for the next available seat in the most popular room in the house…