These days you use an HDMI cable (High Density Movement Imminent).
I can’t wait until they figure out a way to do wireless pooping.
In the time that’s passed since this thread was started, the efficiency of the Dope’s collective bowels was quantified in this poll thread I started:
#2: Do you rush it and flush it, or are you slow when you go?
By relaxing, at least according to my Dad. This is a memory from when I was about four. If I was younger, the bathroom door might not have been installed yet. (My folks built their first house.) If I was actually four or older, it was probably the event that taught me to make sure the door was closed.
You know how some guys have pet topics that they can drone on about at length? Apparently my Dad had a drone on the topic of the dangers of straining. The safe way to excrete is to relax and let the internal muscles do the work No Matter How Long It Takes.
Heh, my dad was similar - complete with a dubious story about how, when he was young, a friend of his strained so hard, his bowels came out.
Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
Business went down the crapper, huh?
Oh yeah, and how long did they live?
You must have an enormous dry cleaning bill.
Hell, I have no idea. I can barely get to the toilet before the ass-plosion half the time. :eek:
Then they’ll have 3-D poop printers right in the bathroom. You can choose different colors to liven things up, and of course pick a fun shape or object. Maybe Joy Behar or a starfish.
Rule 34 tells me there will be a webcam just waiting for your next extrusion at that point.
I was gonna post, but I wasn’t sure that TGWATY would approve of my defecation techniques and or time length.
I only eat kale, quinoa, psyllium husks, and the hearts of adolescent lambs. Well, sometimes I eat their meat too, because it’s very tasty.
Long live healthy eating!
I farted once though, and I may be prohibited from ascension into heaven. If so, that’s total bullshit.
Rectal prolapse. This is not something you want to Google. Trust me on this. You do not want to do a search for this. And yes, one of the causes of this condition is straining.
“I cried because it took me 15 minutes to shit, until I met a man who took 15 minutes to pee.”
-Rudyard Kipling (first draft)
Or lifting heavy weights, according to one picture I had the vast misfortune to accidentally see a few years ago… :eek: