Glurge I'd Like to See

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

A little modified as taken from here

2

As a parent and a pet lover, I thought this was one of the kindest things that I’ve ever experienced. I had no way to know who sent it, but I thought there is some very kind soul working in the dead letter office. Unfortunately Mer was so excited to see her dog again that she killed herself so she could be with it in heaven. Thanks for nothing bastard.

:eek:
Where was this part??

3

Dear Mer,

Yes, your dog arrived yesterday. Thank you for the picture. I knew exactly which dog was yours. Abbey was delicious.

burp
God

4

Can I get God’s address, too? I have a few questions I’d like to ask.

5

Dear Mer:

Hi it’s ,me Abbey, and I am in heaven! And boy does it suck! You can’t run or jump, and how the hell is a dog supposed to play a freakin harp!!? One nice thing is that I don’t have some demented 4 yr old pulling my ears, tail and hair. Oh, and the chocolate you fed me is what killed me.
You’d better be a bad girl, and NOT go to heaven, because,
if you do,

I will be waiting for you!

Sincerely
ABBEY

(as transcribed by FML)

6

Dear Meredith,

The good news is, I did receive your dog, and she is doing well in Heaven.

The bad news is, she’s the only member of your family about whom I can say that, including those yet to come my way.

Cordially yours,

God

7

OK, how about this, adapted from this?

CHARLES SCHULTZ PHILOSOPHY
You don’t actually have to take the quiz. Just read this straight through and you’ll get the point. It is trying to make an awesome point!

Here’s the first quiz:

  1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

  2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

  3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.

  4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.

  5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

  6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The facts are, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

  1. List a few teachers who humiliated you and made you feel like a failure.

  2. Name three “friends” who ditched you when the going got rough.

  3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile – like “It’s not you; it’s me” is complete bullshit.

  4. Think of a few people who have made you feel like you were invisible.

  5. Think of five people that you’d rather slit your throat than be stuck on an elevator with.

  6. Name half a dozen heroes whose stories made you feel hopelessly inadequate.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that make you feel like Charlie Brown.