Go-to insults

[Clothahump]

@digs

I remember sitting patiently while a student made up an ignorant and completely wrong answer.
I might have shaken my head in despair, saying:

“And you were the fastest sperm…”

Walter’s got this one for you!

[VanLandry]

The Jerk Store Called!

[Jumpbass]

@kenobi_65

“Bastidge. Farging icehole.”

From the film Johnny Dangerously; one of the characters was a gangster who badly mispronounced English (particularly obscenities). Insulting but funny, and plausibly not actually naughty words.

“Corksucker.” I still have those in my repertoire.
Replies to heckling:

I guess every village has one.

If we had seventeen more of him, we’d have a golf course.

[carnut]

@Anne_Elk

“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!”

This.

and

“You have a keen grasp of the obvious.”