The title pretty much says it. I suppose I’d like to hear from women, too – just for curiousity’s sake.
Does your religion prohibit pre-marital sex?
Will you hold out for marriage because of your religious beliefs?
Do you believe that only gay men will hold out (under the guise of their religious beliefs)?
What religion are you?
Was it worth it?
My religion believes that sex is good. As consenting adults, we still have to take responsibility for our actions, but there is no specific prohibition on premarital sex or gay sex.
Does your religion prohibit pre-marital sex?
I suppose - “fornication” is out and I think that qualifies.
Will you hold out for marriage because of your religious beliefs?
It’s all after the fact, but no - I didn’t forgo sex while dating this last time. I did usually feel guilty about it later but, obviously, not enough to stop my behavior.
Do you believe that only gay men will hold out (under the guise of their religious beliefs)?
I have no idea but I doubt sexual orientation has much to do with this issue.
What religion are you?
Christian
Was it worth it?
In some cases, yes; others, no. I know I had sex with women just for myself - they were willing and I was horny - I had no feelings for them. I regret those. The ones I had feelings for, I don’t much regret.
I’m not religious, and probably wouldn’t have refrained from sex even if I were, but I can easily believe that plenty of people prioritize things *other * than sex, be they religious beliefs, desire for emotional attachment, or the simple pragmatism of abstinence from vaginal intercourse being the only 100% effective way of avoiding pregnancy.
I also think that labeling men who refrain from sex as “probably gay” is about as enlightened and useful as labeling women who don’t “sluts”.
I also think there’s a huge difference between men (or women) who hold out when they’re in their early twenties, and someone who continues to hold out well into their 40s or later. I mean, at some point, many holder-outers may just say, “Hmmmm…this really isn’t working out for me” and change tactics.
The title pretty much says it. I suppose I’d like to hear from women, too – just for curiousity’s sake.
1) Does your religion prohibit pre-marital sex?
Yes.
2) Will you hold out for marriage because of your religious beliefs?
Too late. Many many times too late 
3) Do you believe that only gay men will hold out (under the guise of their religious beliefs)?
No. That’s ridiculous.
4) What religion are you?
Catholic.
5) Was it worth it?
In the end, yes. At the time, it took me a long period of soul-searching to come up with my personal understanding of my church’s take on sexuality in the modern world. Lots of cognitive dissonance.
I didn’t ‘hold out’ but my brother did. Up to the point that he and his wife’s first kiss occured after our Pastor said “I now pronounce you man and wife.”. He would probably say it was worth it, but it’s not really something we’ve ever discussed.
This is for me, but my husband is pretty much the same.
1) Does your religion prohibit pre-marital sex?
Yes.
2) Will you hold out for marriage because of your religious beliefs?
We both did (and have many friends who also did).
3) Do you believe that only gay men will hold out (under the guise of their religious beliefs)?
:dubious: No. That strikes me as a weird thing to think.
4) What religion are you?
LDS.
5) Was it worth it?
Definitely.
I think they usually get married. Most religions that take a firm stance against pre-marital sex also encourage early marriage: better to marry than to burn and all that.
My beliefs at the time did prohibit it, before I went all liberal.
I did.
Errr. no. (I don’t even really understand the thrust of the question)
(then)Methodist
Compared to what? I was quite happy with the whole idea.
I wouldn’t have asked, but it came up in the Dins thread about his daughter, so I had to open this thread and see if other people thought that it was a factor in male celibacy.
Oh, I see. Bizarre. IME it really is possible for men (those slavering, uncontrollable, uncivilized MEN) to exert self-control and choose to hold off on sex for various reasons. I’m sure it’s not easy–it’s not easy for women either–and I’m not actually a male, but having known many straight, lusty men who did wait (and then enjoyed sex very much when they did choose to start), I think it’s actually possible.
I’m not a man, but this caught my eye. I consider myself a libral Ba’hai. Ba’hai people believe that ALL religions in all the world hold truth, and there’s no RIGHT religion. We find wisdom from ALL religions and beliefs. Not just Christianity.
I am still waiting for that special person. (I’m bi) Personally, I really think that we need to stop being so uptight about sex. We need to have healthier attitudes about sex. At the same time, we need to stop treating sex as something causal and common. Yeah, it feels good to do it…but on the other hand, removing the emotional aspect of sex is just so strange. I really do think that a lot of people don’t understand that having someone say “I love you” can feel just as good as doing it. I know a lot of people say that “oh the whole sex love connection is just something that uptight anal people push. I’m so free from that.” But yet at the same time many of those people who are fuck buddy enthusiasts complain about not feeling an emotional connection. I honestly honestly think too many people try to get a special connection through sex without emotions getting in the way of things…yet its pretty much impossible to do so. Maybe if people weren’t so messed up that they use sex as a way to get a connection without emotional involvement, then things wouldn’t be so goddamn soapoperaish.
I have to say I think that religions need to teach kids the quality of a GOOD healthy relationship. So many girls think that if they don’t have sex with a guy, the guy won’t like them. We really need to teach kids that the way to have a healthy relationship is start out as friends, and then let it develop from there.
SO many young teen girls seem to think that the way to get a boyfriend is to follow the advice in the teen magazines.
1 Yes
2 Yes
3 No, again strange question.
4 LDS
5 I belive it will be but not married yet.
Just one more question: Say you will reach the age of 35 and still haven’t found the person you’re going to marry, but you have built an otherwise close relationship with someone. Would there ever be a time where curiosity or another level of “closeness” would trump your religious beliefs or would you be content with the prospect of living your entire life without ever experiencing sex?
Well, there are different kinds of love and different kinds of emotional connection. I don’t know anyone who has a fuck buddy that they don’t have an emotional connection to. I think it’s different from “husband and wife” love, but it’s some kind of connection with the added layer of sexual attraction. I don’t see it as wrong.
I do agree that friends first, lovers later helps build a solid foundation for a long-term commitment, though there are plenty of Love At First Sight stories around here that prove otherwise.
As the only one in the “still waiting” category so far I guess this one is up to me. No I don’t see a time when I will just do it out of curiosity for a couple of reasons:
Belive the reward that waits (in this life or the next) is greater then the pleasure that giving in will grant.
It is not the sex that I long for most in marriage (all thought I hear it is great) it is the companionship. If I was so close to someone that I felt I could have sex with them, I would expect I would be close enough to them to ask them to marry me.
I am painfully shy. If I had the guts to try and pick a woman up then to be honest I don’t think I would be single now.
The idea of living a life with out sex does not bother me. the idea of dying alone scares the hell out of me.
PS 35 came and went 10 months ago.
PPS Dangermom, no one has been able to prove Brigham Young said “Every man not married and over twenty-five is a menace to the community.” Just heading it off at the pass.
Yes
Yes
Ah, no. I’m idealistic, not naive.
Roman Catholic
So far, yeah.
I now count myself agnostic, but at one time I was a very devout Catholic. I was actually an altar boy, with Latin and everything. If I were to answer these questions then, it’d be:
1.) Yes
2.) Yes
3.) What?
4.) Catholic
5.) Don’t know yet.
Of course, now that I’m a Lost Soul Agnostic, they’d be:
1.) Irrelevant (but effectively no)
2.) No
3.) What?
4.) Non-Militant Agnostic
5.) Irrelevant
Of course, for the longest time my social life was Sahara-like in its absence of oases, so the morality of pre-marital sex was completely irrelevant, regardless of my philosophy
Does your religion prohibit pre-marital sex?
Yes
Will you hold out for marriage because of your religious beliefs?
I guess I did, but not for lack of trying. She said no and that was that.
Do you believe that only gay men will hold out (under the guise of their religious beliefs)?
I’m having difficulty parsing this question. Could you try it again please?
What religion are you?
Christian - Methodist
Was it worth it?
It’s hard to say. At least I can hold it over my kids and say, “I waited, so can you.” Not that that argument will hold much weight.