God is talking to (well, e-mailing) me!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I got this in my e-mail today!

=====================

Hi,

This is a personal message from God Allah to you. It may be the only message you ever receive from Me so please respond.

I, God Allah, am here in the USA looking for a church or mosque, etc. to receive Me. If you know of a church or mosque, business, community, etc. available to receive and welcome God Allah for the purposes previously explained by the religious organizations, please email Me at god @llah.MOBI (no spaces).

For more information please contact Allah’s VM/SMS +1-707-925-2488

Emergency Message,

God Allah

P.O. Box 701

San Mateo, CA 94401

USA

+1-650-458-7524

god @llah.MOBI (subscribe)

god @llah.US (unsubscribe)

NOTE: Due to communications errors, websites may or may not yet fully resolve. This email updated often.
NOTE: Sub/Unsub link address is https:// LLAH.US ; however, due to the nature of this emergency, links must be typed manually.
NOTE: Due to the nature of electronic communications, it is possible you may have difficulty reaching Allah, therefore, please accept this apology for any communication errors during this interim, moreover, you may edit this press release for your market so long as the intended communication and links resolve. e.g. email, phone number, website, etc., as explained herein.
NOTE: I personally respond within twenty-four hours or sooner. Thank you for your review.
NOTE: Communications in English, please. Message and links updated frequently. Stay alert, Stay alive.
NOTE: Due to the nature of divinity, it is possible this is the last message from God Allah to you personally.

NOTE: Due to the nature of this emergency, there could be spiritual ramifications for your failure to comply.

NEW: 10 Commandments Online: THOU.TEL … click to see.

NEXT UPDATE NLT 11 SEP 2012

===============

Who knew God Allah had e-mail addresses, phone numbers, and a PO box in San Mateo? I’d question why He doesn’t have a Web site, but I guess He moves in mysterious ways.

I wish I had a church or mosque for Him to use, but I don’t. Seeing as He’s decided to get in touch with me directly, do you think I should build Him one?

2

Personally, I’d block him.

3

What an odd thing for God Allah to say.

4

Email Him back and tell him you plan to build him a church but you need to know what dimensions (in cubits) He wants it.

5

You’re going to hell just for thinking that, kayaker!

6

Reply back that he is an obvious false god, for the One True God would want His house on the Temple Mount restored.

7

I had no idea God’s last name was Allah!

8

You should contact a large church and let them know that you can put them in direct contact with God Allah, for a small (large) fee. Sit back and profit!

9

I’ll be with all my friends.:wink:

10

As the day nurse may figure out that I’m not taking my meds.

11

Of the San Mateo Allahs.

12

Fixed. :wink:

13

Have you tried chatting with God?

(Link goes to a charming chat bot).

14

Welcome to the SDMB, Iggy,

We’re pretty strict around here about not messing with other people’s words, even when it’s a joke and clearly labeled as such. Please don’t do this.

Thanks,

twickster, MPSIMS moderator

15

Is God on Skype? Is his IP address 000.000.0.0? Is his email god@god.god? Otherwise he’s a pretender.

:rolleyes: :smack: :stuck_out_tongue:

I’m just glad I’m not on this particular spam/scam list.

16

[James Tiberius Kirk]

Uh, what does GOD need with e-mail?

[/James Tiberius Kirk]

17

Everybody knows God uses IPv7.

Since the rest of us haven’t fully caught up to IPv6 yet, this hakes God a little hard to contact.

18

If you unsubscribe to god’s email list, do you go to hell? I don’t believe that was covered anywhere in the Gospels

19

Not sure putting in a call to El Shaddai would go the way we wanted it to: YouTube.

ETA:

You bring up a good point: Apostasy - Wikipedia

20

God is old fashioned. I know this because he sent my father a letter (East German commies also sent my father letters, but after studying the letter us kids concluded it was God. No self respecting commy would sign a letter with a name like Nunziati.)

We desperately wanted to see the hole in the sky where God chucked the demons in but in spite of owning a telescope Dad refused to oblige. (He also refused to let us send money when we found out there where only 15 Christians in East Europe.)

God is busy but he takes his sweet time and sometimes, considering He’s old, he may be a bit slow.