…to play QB for the Jets, but He doesn’t start.
… some water. Now that their pressure is equalized, they are in hydrostatic union.
…to the movies for the afternoon so He could get in some alone time with the wife.
"God sent his son"
…but he didn’t send the deputy.
…to take the rap.
Seriously.
And we know what idle hands are…
to reform school.
to borrow a cup of sugar from the neighbors
to school without his breakfast
to answer the door and tell the Jehovah’s Witnesses to go away
to the “Time Out” corner for saying bad words
A little-known fact is that God isn’t really all that powerful. In fact, he’s just a farmer in another world, and was faced with the loss of a major cash crop. He decided to attempt to grow legume, but wanted to see if there was market first for that and better than average seasoning. God figured that it would be unusual for one farmer to supply both.
Consequently, he sent his son:
To see how much peas are worth with good dill.
The rest was an unfortunate misunderstanding.
…to get his DNA tested. He wanted proof of paternity.
"God sent his son"
…and then bitched for 2000 years privately about how, “…If you want something done right, you’ve got to do it yourself”.
“God sent his son”
…to his ex-wife’s for the weekend. I’m sure he’ll be fine.
… to the market to sell the cow, but he came back with some worthless beans.
Yesterday in the car we were listening to Handel’s Messiah - “For unto us a child is born…” From the back of the car a voice comes.
“Why are they singing about Simon’s Chinese balls?”