Enough is Enough.
It started in a thread in Great Debates. Rudy from “Survivor” was being considered a bigot because he used the word “queer.” I argued that he was not in fact a bigot. He was both friendly with and admired by Richard who is Gay. As a 70 year old guy, “Queer” is the term he is familiar with to describe a homosexual man. The fact that he has not kept up with current nomenclature does not make him a bigot. In fact he is a retired Navy Seal and a legitimate war hero. I did not like seeing him attacked over a peccadillo.
The argument got pretty esoteric and a little mean (on both sides.) When it was finished I had agreed that while “Queer” had some acceptable uses, it has a lot of derogatory content and a reasonable and polite person would eiter be very careful with its use or refrain from using it entirely.
It did not end there.
It seemed to me that because of my stance in that thread I was on some kind of unspoken probation with some (clearly not all) of our Gay posters. My responses in threads were met with a certain degree of coldness and a subtext of hostility.
Then came this “Gay Lifestyle” thread in the pit. Apparently this phrase is patronizing and demeaning as well.
I argued that the phrase is innocuous, and if you object to it, you might be looking for trouble where there is none. I found the tone of the OP to be whiny and self serving.
I referred to another thread in MPSIMS where the term “Gay Lifestyle” was being used in reference to a special on Fire Island showing on Bravo. Though I haven’t seen it, apparently this is not meant in a derogatory fashion either.
I referred to “language Nazis” and was Derided by Mattmcl for using the term “Nazi,” in this fashion. I’m not allowed to say that either.
When I told him that I didn’t care what he thought if he choose to deliberately misinterpret my words, I was informed that I was no longer entitled to “the benefit of the doubt,” whatever that means. I told him he could basically take his benefit of the doubt and stick it.
That pretty much brings us up to date.
Now without mincing words:
I am not a bigot. I don’t care about your sexual preference, your sex, your culture, or the color of your skin. I do not think that any of these things are grounds for discrimination against someone, and I don’t think any of these traits make one person better than any other.
I am getting rather upset at what’s happening here. It is clear to me that Mattmcl was not actually offended that I used the term “Nazi.” He didn’t object to my “Evil Nazi Groundhog” thread. What he actually objected to was me!
By invoking “Nazi” as a term not used by right-thinking people he was labelling me a bigot. He was doing this becuase he was pissied that some of my responses concerning language went against the gay consensus on this board.
This is McCarthy witch hunt mentality. If you use the wrong words then you are a bigot. Only certain people know what the right words are though, and they don’t always tell, and sometimes they change.
I respect the dignity of gay people, and I sincerely don’t want to offend a friend by using a term that will cause him hurt.
What’s going on here is wrong though.
If only Gay people get to decide what to call themselves (and of course they are immune and can use the words themselves because they are gay,) and if the words change, then this means that someone who is gay gets to decide De Facto who is a bigot.
This is what Mattmcl was doing when he objected to my use of “Nazi.”
I see this attempt to edit and censor as dangerous and unreasonable.
Many terms have multiple meanings. Some are derogatory. Some are not. One needs to derive meaning from context. It has always been this way. It is basic and simple and everybody does it all the time.
So, going forward:
I will use what terms I see as reasonable and fit based on my judgement and experience, and will not deliberately seek to offend by my usage.
I will extend to others the belief that they are decent and thoughtful human being until they prove otherwise.
If you choose to deliberately and maliciously misconstrue my words in order to generate a faux indignance, you will receive a hearty “Fuck You!”
If I know and respect you, I will go out of my way not to offend you even to the point of changing my vocabularly. If you are a good friend, than you are worth the effort.
If you choose to attack me or others based on a deliberate misconstrual or seek to alter my speech habits without invitation, than you will receive a hearty “Fuck You!”
My speech is a part of who I am, and I choose what I say with reasonable tact and discretion. I am no more required to alter it to satisfy you than you are required to change the color of your skin or your sexual preference to satisfy another.
If you don’t like it, then a very hearty “Fuck You.”
Mattmcl: Take your pissy little semantic bullshit and shove it up your ass.