These are just two of my favorite sayings. What are yours?
Ah, crud! Wrong area! I’ve already asked Lynn to move this to MPSIMS. Sorry folks, not enough coffee in my brain yet…
“Horse fuck a doctor!”
Lately, it’s been “Fuck 'em if they can’t take a joke”. It’s been both a great and a really remarkably shitty year so far …
Hmm, depends on my mood, the subject matter, and who I’m talking to.
I like -
Jump up my ass and bark.
F**k me running
F**k me naked and hide my clothes
Kiss the fat part of my a**
Have you lost your mind ?
Little boy want some candy ?
How about never ? Is never good for you ?
Oh, I see the f**k-up fairy has visited us again.
Yes I know I’m boring folks, I used up most of my bad in the 70’s and 80’s.
PS. The *'s have been used just in case this does get moved.
Ayesha - Lioness
You sound reasonable. Must be time to up my medication.
Ayesha, remind me to say something really stupid to you sometime, so you can insult me.
Modest? You bet I’m modest! I am the queen of modesty!
Neuro,
Now why would I want to insult you ?
I am a very nice , sweet, motherly type
lady. 
That stupid purity test lied about me when it said I was only 22 % pure. :o
Just ask Mr. Rogers, he LOVES me. So do a few others here, I’m so sweet that I melt in the rain.
Oh yes, I forgot some-
sh*t fire and save matches.
Frogs in the underwear
(I don’t know why I like the sound of that one, but I do)
Ayesha - Lioness
You sound reasonable. Must be time to up my medication.
Why don’t you go outside and play Hide and Go Fuck Yourself?
Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket. Didn’t come up with it, wish I had, it’s from “Our Dumb Century” a book published by the Onion.
“There are many sweeping generalizations that are always true” -Space Ghost
“Like my asshole is square” (var. on ‘My foot’)
“And monkeys fly out of my ass North for the winter.”
Hmmm, a lot of attention on my ass here. I’d better go exfoliate.
“I’m sorry, the person who cares isn’t in today.”
– Sylence.
And now, for my next trick, I will talk in spooky half-references.
My favorites:
Fuck me pink and call me Spam
Fuck me up the ass with a thistle
Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick
Christ’s blessed wounds
God’s balls
“Happiness is nonetheless true happiness because it must come to an end, nor do thought and love lose their value because they are not everlasting.”
- Bertrand Russell
“Jeeker’s Crow!”
My dad says it and he’s the only person in the world I’ve heard say it. Other nuggets:
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph!”
“God-bless it!”
“You’ve got more excuses than Carter’s got liver pills!”
“My hovercraft is full of eels.”
Well, I was saving some of these for when somebody pulled me into the Pit, but what the fuck:
Gobble my crank.
Tongue my scrote.
Help yourself to a big, steamy shitburger, and an ice-cold glass of shut-the-fuck-up.
Fuck that noise.
Well, fuck me running!
Dar (Exclamation used in the presence of stupidity).
Well, spank my ass and call me Martha!
(In Hank Hill voice) God dammit, and Piece of shit.
Yeah, pull the other one. My left leg is getting sore.
.
.
.
.
The only other saying I can think of is more of a gesture. I’ll say “Hey, (name of person here).” Snap both my fingers, and at the end of the snap, I’m pointing at my crotch with both hands. Just my own little way of saying “blow me”.
That’s all i can think of right now. I know, I’m boring.
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
here are some more pearls to the swine.
Bite Me
I’ll be a monkey’s uncle
Fuck me gently with a wirebrush
Jeesus H. Christ
Unforgiven
My new favorite exclamation is “Satan’s strap-on!”
“If I wanted smoke blown up my ass, I’d be at home with a pack of cigarettes and a short length of hose.” (Stolen from “The Simpsons”)
I am also fond of “Somebody get this man a big glass of shut the hell up!”
Or, in a pinch, “Jeezus H. Christ on a go-kart!”
Dr. J
I can only please one person per day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
Can’t believe I didn’t get a big load on my ass over the fact that it was almost 2:30 out here and I STILL hadn’t had my coffee! In my own defense, it was 12:30 my time. But, hey, that doesn’t sound much better! Sundays were just made to sleep in! Anywho!
Gobble my crank.— oh, dear sweet Jesus and all that is holey! It doesn’t involve my socks! I had a boy-friend who would use that when ever he wanted me to go down on him. Guess what? I wouldn’t! That was just so offensive and degrading! YUCK! Come on, other posters, back me up; isn’t that just a nasty way of putting it? I have no problem with actually taking a man’s penis into my mouth but that particular phrase is just… nasty! Not the act, just his words about it! Vomit comet! Yuckola!
Oh, and no offense to you, Sealemon88, I know you were just sharing. How could you know you were sharing something I’ve heard? Unless you feel the need to confess to the board your psychic abilities… What if you are this man, reborn? ARGGGGGG! NOOOOOO!
Well, shit howdy, what are the odds? No, you’re not him. And it’s still creepy. (I wander off to brush my teeth and wash my hands).
SuperNerd – I think that’s the whole sum of my being. FUCK EM IF THEY CAN’T TAKE A JOKE. I think that’s me wrapped up in a few words.
Ayesha– lioness reborn? Is that you? I thought I felt more than saw your spoor: fuck me running. Classic! Like the ubiquitous: fuck a rolling donut. You classy lady you!
Rysdad-- Why don’t you go outside and play Hide and Go Fuck Yourself? I KNOW that’s from a book I’ve read recently. Or they stole it from you or what ever. Still, it’s a classic.
And there are all the rest. I can’t draw your names into my post back. I’m too tiered, to jazzed, to ready to take what you’ve said and wrap it into my writing. Oh, gee, I don’t want to ASSUME anything here. I’m working you, using all of you, to further my own ends. Did you assume I wasn’t?
You all will go down in the novel I’m working on now. Your words, the bits and peces of your lives. It’s all just fodder for my mill. Sorry if I didn’t mention that until now. Should I post some of my work out here? So you can see?
I’m a sucker. Give me an opening, and I’d post the whole damn novel out here…
Best
Byz
Well, suck me dry and call me Dusty.
This space for rent.