What’s your take on someone going outside for a cigarette while out at a restaurant? Is weird? Rude? Totally okay? Does it matter if it’s with a new date vs a SO vs a friend vs a group? Is it okay during drinks or after appetizers or before dessert, but not mid-meal? Is it a total non-issue? Or just always unacceptable?
A bit weird, but not awful. Some folks just gotta have a smoko. I’d feel ruder telling them they shouldn’t than I feel they are rude by leaving the dinner table for a while.
It’s also a shame, as they’re killing their ability to enjoy the meal. But, again, not my problem.
It’s a little problem if they come back and their clothes and hair carry a strong tobacco-smoke odor. For me, personally, that’s not an issue: I often hang with smokers, and the smoke doesn’t bug me a bit. But for many, that would be a big thing.
All of the above.
It’s weird and rude. You need to go outside to do this disgusting thing, but we were just mid-conversation. You’ll come back smelling bad. Yuck.
But yeah, it’s totally ok. For some stupid reason we all just decided that this weird and rude behaviour is pretty normal, so everyone else just has to deal with the fact that a small and smelly part of the general population occasionally leaves a social situation to go and stand outside and give themselves cancer.
Seriously though, if it’s on a date with only one person and they need to stay inside and amuse themselves then that’s very weird and very rude. But I have come to notice that nicotine addiction makes people very weird and very rude about smoking, so I wouldn’t be surprised.
It’s rude. If it’s an extended event I’d grant some leeway, but if you can’t go a couple hours without re-stenching yourself I’d rather not have dinner with you.
It’s weird and rude, but I prefer it to them smoking at the table (assuming that was even allowed at the restaurant anymore). I’m ok with smokers/smoking/whatever vice you have as long as it doesn’t get in the way of our relationship. Forcing me to pause a movie, or getting up in the middle of dinner just to go do whatever is very very annoying. During drinks, I don’t care because I’m usually at the bar to get drinks at the bar, not necessarily be with whomever, so it is less intimate.
You can decide it’s rude but you people know perfectly well it’s not weird. OK, maybe in the middle of their entree but sneaking out when they don’t currently have food in front of them is not odd at all.
I think it’s a little weird in the middle of dinner service, but not during drinks at a bar.
During a date, go out for a smoke and be sure I won’t be there when you get back. I won’t date smokers, so if it got to the point of an actual date without me knowing the person is a smoker, I’d be right pissed. And gone.
It’s not weird or rude. It’s becoming rare. It’s certainly acceptable for someone to excuse themselves briefly from a meal for any purpose that suits them. I guess it might be rude to do several times in one meal, depending on the meal and your relationship with the other diners.
This is one of the reasons why non-smokers stick together.
My state, Indiana, is always somewhere near the top in the smoking stats. I think way more people here smoke than admit to it in polls. I don’t go to bars much anymore but the last few times I’ve gone it has been pretty typical that the bar itself is nearly empty while the elaborate “outdoor” smoking areas are packed, with smokers and thier non smoking friends. All the entertainment available in the bar is available in the smoking areas along with bar and food service.
So, no, not weird or unusual around here.
The reason it’s rude is because the smoker comes back smelling awful, and now everyone else’s enjoyment of the meal is negatively affected. Like someone farting at the dinner table. I think it’s also kind of weird, but maybe that’s because I hardly know any smokers anymore. Anyway, if I was dining with a person who was inclined to go smoke in the middle of the meal, they better be someone I really otherwise enjoy spending time with if I’m going to want to dine with them again.
If I was on a date, it would be the end of the date, since I would not date a smoker.
I’d find it strange. I always smoke first and then maybe another after. Don’t think I’ve been at a meal long enough to feel the need for one part way through, unless it was a group thing and we were there several hours.
Among smokers I’d say it’s par for the course. IMO most smokers do it and expect it to be done to them as well. Etiquette-wise it’s neutral to slightly gauche.
Among ardent non-smokers the mere existence of smokers is rude and unacceptable. What they do or don’t do is almost immaterial.
Among the rapidly vanishing minority of agnostic non-smokers it’s OK; in fact it’s probably preferable to them for the smoker to step away than to smoke in place even when/where that option is permitted.
Not weird and not rude. I don’t care if someone steps away from the table for a few minutes to smoke, or call the babysitter, or whatever. If someone was gone for more than a few minutes, I would find that rude unless there was a good explanation.
Do you step away from the table to fart or do you just hold it til dinner is over?
This would depend on how the dinner is going…
It depends on who you’re with and in what context.
If I’m out with my husband having drinks, not weird.
If I was unmarried and on a date with someone fairly new having drinks, weird.
If I’m out with my husband having dinner, not weird.
If I was unmarried and on a date having dinner with someone fairly new, weird.
If I’m out with family, not weird.
If I’m out with close friends, not weird.
If I’m at a work lunch with friends and co-workers, weird.
If I’m at a dinner or lunch for a function and there are a lot of people (wedding, for example, or a large work meeting/seminar), not weird.
If I’m meeting someone for the first time (like a boyfriend’s family or something), weird.
I don’t know any smokers. I would have to seriously weigh up starting to spend time with someone if they had this habit.
I’m sorry, is it also rude to excuse yourself to use the bathroom? Because what happens there is also pretty disgusting, although if done right probably doesn’t bring back the odor of the act.
Is this specific to the aftereffects of smoking on a smoker, or just open-ended “no tolerance for smoking”? Because if someone steps out for a vape, there’ll be no lingering “ashtray stench” but I imagine a lot of our crowd here will still be terribly offended. Because smoking. (Which in their minds, vaping is no different from.)
I think it’s weird if it’s happening during dinner because you’re talking about around an hour, two at the outside, and usually a smoker will have a smoke before going inside. If it’s a date, I wouldn’t want to date someone who needs to smoke every hour, that’s just too much. I don’t know that I’d say it’s rude per se if the dinner was just for hanging out, but it seems really unusual to me. If it’s a bunch of people out at a restaurant for a long stretch of time then I expect smokers to take smoke breaks and, especially if food orders are happening irregularly, they might end up with one when someone’s eating.