Goodbye, champion Igwilv. You had bested Baal twice, and were well on your way toward kicking his demonic ass on the “Hell” level. You had many cool magic items and a mastery of several badass spells, as well as a stash full of gold.
Fare thee well, Slayer Eljayess. Though you hadn’t yet reached the 63rd level like Igwilv, you were still a badass Paladin. I dug your military pick that inflicted a couple hundred points’ worth of poison damage on nasty monsters, demons and undead creatures.
So long, my dear Necromancer Dredelgath. Your ability to summon a shitload of skeletons at critical times was a terrific boost to the party. And don’t think I haven’t appreciated your casting of “Amplify Damage” at just the right moment. Your fire golems rocked, too.
See ya, young druid Frita. Although you had yet to slay Baal, I knew you could probably do it with your dire wolves tied behind your back. I will always remember your charming habit of sending molten boulders rolling after the hordes of Rat Men and Flayers on the Kurast level.
In case none of you knows what the hell I’m talking about, I’m referring to the loss of all my Diablo II character data. Some haX0r douchebag managed to infect my favorite PC with a nasty virus that turned my $2,500 Gateway into a worthless doorstop. If and when I find you Mr. “I’m so l33t, I spend my spare time writing code to fuck up other people’s computers,” I am going to cut your testicles off and tape them to your forehead.
And to think…I had done the responsible thing and updated my virus definitions last week. All for naught, apparently.
Of course, now this means I get to start the game over from scratch. Maybe I’ll try a barbarian or a sorceress this time.
Fucking viruses… Special ultra-geek bonus to anyone who can identify the D&D module from which I shamelessly lifted the names of my Diablo II characters.
Take consolation that this sort of infantile anti-socialism can only be a product of a profoundly empty and lonely exsistence. Surely every breath this human-like shell takes is an agony of isolation and stunted empathy. The suffering he caused you with his virus is only a pale shadow of the suffering he feels at every moment of his empty, meaningless life.
Despite this, if we catch him, I say we flog him to death with our mouse cords.
Um, ‘Temple of Elemental Evil’? Please, please tell me I’m wrong…
and…
[cop voice]Put down Diablo II. Step away from the CD[/cop voice] Try Dungeon Siege (same game except in 3d and you don’t get carpal tunnel from playing it).
You mean to tell me that you don’t do weekly backups of your Diablo2 characters? I’m probably the most lax person I know when it comes to data back-ups, but I damn well make a point to backup my Diablo.
(I’d offer to donate spare equipment, but I know that would take all the fun out of it)
Ah, Diablo. How glad I am that I started playing Closed Bnet. East, of course. Best (and only) char I have on West is a lvl 7 or os sorc I started when I couldn’t get onto USEast.
Now if they could only get rid of the memory-intensive graphics (or at least “dumb” them down for my pc) or start to work on the lag that always accompanies any game …
Like when you beat that first quest in Act 5 and all the crap starts falling from the sky… makes the screen freeze for several seconds every time. By the time it picks up again, everyone else in the game has picked up all the good items that he dropped.
I could whip out Caverns Of Tslojocanth. But, I’ll just try and do it from memory-
Seeker you have won the prize
And found the trove of Igwilv’s magic
And freed the one with burning eyes
Whose lot was hunger tragic
Cheez, we should all be exhibits at a sideshow.
“Ladies and gentlemen, look if you can upon the geeks of two ages! Here we have the geek of yore, naked, squatting in his own filth and biting the head off of a live chicken? And, here we have the geeks of the modern day-note the 20 sided dice, the Ral Partha miniatures, the strangem ritualistic way they recite Monty Python sketches and laugh until Mountain Dew spews forth from their very nostrils!”
BTW-I lost a variant Deck Of Many Things to a crash a few years ago. I’ve found other (mostly crappy) variants since. But I can’t find the good one. IIRC it included cards such as the Assassin, The Lovers,
DocCathode gets the geek points for successfully naming “The Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth.” Igwilv was the badass vampire. The rest are names of NPCs from the same module.
I just knew that someone was going to get this one…
BTW, started a new game last night with a sorceress. We’ve just passed the “rescue Deckard Cain” phase. I am so sick of quill rats and zombies…
Oh, SPOOFE: one trick I use is to play, if I’m going to do anything where something fun might drop, in a lvl-restricted room (so some PKer can’t come, frost-nova me and my party to death, and run off with whatever’s dropped plus all our gold) and sometimes (always, if I’m MFing) with a passworded room. There are a good number of dopers who play decently regularly (FunkDaddy, Nen, myself, Maeglin, lno, Rasa, Morgyn, to name a few).
The other places where it can be hard to pick up items are when Diablo dies, when Duriel dies (though that’s almost exclusively for pwracting), and when Baal dies … the ground shakes for all of them. I’ve heard of “auto-grab” programs wherein as soon as something of a certain color (I guess, having not cheated myself) falls, it is “picked up” by the player.
My strategy has become to open my inventory when the monster is slivered, and to be prepared for the mouse to “become” an object. I can hold something extra that way. I’ve used this strategy to hold, for example, the hexfire shamshir (61 to 100 one-hand damage. A lvl 33 Barb is currently using it). I just went to a room with a random alphanumerical string as name and another as password and sorted everything out.
You mention your necro being good for “the party.” Does that these characters were on Battle.net? If so, they’re still alive. Just log onto your name once you get a new computer (within 90 days of the last time you logged on.)
Either way, it really sucks, and I’m sorry to hear about what happened to your computer.
