In a terrible turn of events, my very dear friend just found out this week that the old boyfriend of his sister’s friend has been molesting both of my friend’s neices for some time. He not only video taped sexual acts with the children but also showed the two girls videos of himself and his girlfriend in bed as well.
It is hard for me to express my rage at this heinous crime. My friend has had the wisdom to insist that his sister bring her other children in for counseling and examination. He is determined to make sure that the perpetrator’s identity and his crimes are know to his fellow inmates, wherever he is eventually incarcerated. I have a hard time finding fault with this plan and will more than likely do whatever I can to help him.
Any suggestions that I can share with my friend?
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Find out the name of another inmate in the institution where heir sicko is being held, send him a letter. Word spreads fast in prison. He’ll enjoy many a beating.
However much I may wish otherwise, I doubt very much is going to improve in the lives of the victims for a very long time. Such trauma usually has far reaching and often permanent side effects. The physical abuse that I endured in childhood has taken long enough for me to deal with, such that I dread to imagine what these poor children have ahead of them.
These sort of predators need to know exactly what awaits them once they are finished shattering the lives of their innocent victims. Knowing that my tax dollars will feed and house this waste of skin for a decade or two is a minor irratation by comparison to the damage he has already done.
Yes, it should be tempered with mercy. That is why we don’t go and personally cut this person apart one inch at a time, starting with his toes, or carefully shoot him in each of his joints and then let him bleed to death, as he so richly deserves. Why this prevents the use of castration is beyond me…
There are some crimes where simple jailtime just isn’t a fitting punishment. At this point, what happens to that repugnant beast is no longer about improving the lives of his victims. Their hope lies in therapy, the love of those around them, and the love of God. For him, I hope something particularly nasty awaits; such heinous acts should not go unpunished.
This may seem bloody-minded; I apologise. I just can’t accept that someone who does these things will go, in effect, unpunished on this earth.
Um…I’m really sorry, but I don’t really have much thought towards the man. All I can think of is the girls. I want to vomit.
No, I don’t have any ideas but those girls…
This could work out ok, you know.
I reasoned that those of us who endure some unnatural adversity, especially at a young age, can go either way:
They will be fucked up forever
or
They will become extraordinary individuals. Not necessarily despite the abuse, but perhaps, in a way- because of it. I know I have low-self esteem (no, way!), but occasionally I see how people react to me and sometimes I can see that a great number of people find me to be extraordinary. Many, many times I have been told that I am SO COOL and that they have never met anyone like me before (but then my low-self esteem makes me hide my head in embarrassment, I feel embarrassed right now).
Because who have faced this stuff- it’s a little of a bumpier ride, but a lot more thrilling and rewarding in the end.
It depends on…a lot of things.
Yes, they have quite a bit of work ahead of them, but it doesn’t mean that they lives will be ruined.
It will take many many years, but it’s possible that some day they might realize that well-
I dunno. It’s hard for me to write. But often I think of how certain events lead to certain behaviors and the whoe chain reaction thing- and I believe if THAT was what was necessary to make me who I am, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Those girls. (I also have to wonder about the girlfriend…)
Do as you think best. There is an amount of personal growth found in transcending the evil of others and finding you can forgive them anyway. There is an amount of justice in getting a pen pal.
Its a horrible, evil situation. I can’t honestly say I can choose in this situation. I have nothing I can offer but my sincere prayers for the safety and health of the victims.
I have particualr views on law enforcement. I really can’t endorse turning him in, or encouraging prison rape. What I can encourage is taking him to a field, stripping him naked, tying him down, and stomping repeatedly on his testicles until thye resemble nothing so more as a Lox schmear.
Just remember that child molesters are considered the absolute scum of the earth within the prison system, and that pretty much anything you might wish on him will likely be granted by his fellow inmates.
I ache inside just thinking about those poor kids.
Now this may be distasteful to some, but if anything like this ever happened to one of my children, I would kill the perpetrator. No torture or anything like that, just a bullet to the head. And I’d never lose a minutes’ sleep over it.
You can take this, print it out, and take it to my trial.
Sorry to be blunt, but that’s the way I feel.
has this freak been arrested yet? if not, i’m gonna side with the vigilante camp here.
and if he has, try to get a picture and story of him into the paper so everyone will know. the tricky part here is making sure the kids are left alone. could be tricky, but the press in my area tends to go for this it seems.
A story circulating around a rural area where I used to live involves a person guilty of raping a local girl but being acquitted on a technicality. A group (mob?) of men took him from his house and into the woods where they nailed his er… um… offending member… to a tree stump. He was given an old knife and was warned that if he was ever seen again he would be killed, NQA.
I’m not suggesting anything, but there are crimes and then there are crimes. As stated above, child molesters are VERY low in the prison system. Eventually his crimes will be found out by other inmates, rest assured.
Children can be much tougher than we give them credit.
Please don’t tell them that they are damaged and will probably never have intimacy. Tell them that the molester is bad. If you tell them that this is the worst thing that could ever happen to them ever in the universe then they will probably be messed up for life.
After the guy who molested them was probably molested as a child and was told that he was bad because he was molested.
“Our little Billy wasn’t born a monster Clarice. He was made one by years of systematic abuse.”
Oh and put me down for anti-lynch mob or beating him. It is an emotional response which I understand but can not condone even in cyberspace.
Doing your best to see that this man never does this again to any innocent victim.
The children
The hardest part with the children is to actually have them believe this was not their fault. They are feeling dirty and very guilty. They are ashamed. Making them believe that they were innocent of any wrong doing is tough.
I believe a woman has two virginities. The first is the actually losing of the cherry. The second is the virginity that is in her mind and is of giving herself willing to a man. The lucky women lose both virginities at the same time.
Prisons have special units to house certain types of inmate.
These units are specifically for prisoners at risk from others.
This would usually include sex-offenders but also those who get into debt with other prisoners (usually drug related) and inmates who provide intelligence to police or to prison staff.
This intelligence is used to prevent riots, drug dealing, crimes directed from within prison, murders within and without prison and to help clear up unsolved crime.
A sexual offender against children will tell other inmates he is in jail for some other offence, like street robbery, but eventually will be found out.He will likely shave his head, grow some type of facial hair to hide his appearance.
Cons are assiduous readers of newspapers since they are full of crime stories and someone, somewhere will recognise him.
The worst aspect of this is that this person will be unlikely to go live in the same area after release where he is known and people can protect their children. The creature will go somewhere where he is unknown and there is a strong possibility that he will repeat.
The feeling of rage you have and the need for revenge is a normal reaction but it also shows that you are also a victim of this crime. You will look back for small clues and wonder how you missed them, you will agonise about what you could have done, you will replay things in your head to change events - in short you might well need counselling yourself.
Look into it for your welfare and those around you.
Thank you Le Sang and and every one of you who have responded (you too matt). My friend will be reading this today. He is at home feeling unwell and I can only suppose the strain of the past week has had something to do with it. We were supposed to have lunch today so that he could talk about this with me but that will wait for another day.
I have known this guy for over ten years and I am more than confident that he seeks no validation of his intentions. That was not the point of this thread from the get go. In the main I wanted my friend to know that he was not alone in his rage or in his determination that this vile creature (I shall not use the word “animal” as it demeans the other living beings on this planet) receive his just desserts.
I, for one, remain unequivocal in my support of his wishes for a number of reasons. A few follow:
[li]There remains to this day, remenants of a Dickensean attitude about the insignificance of children, especially girls. It is being perpetuated in the “trophy children” born into the emotional vacuum of yuppie households. You will find it heavily reflected in the wink and a nod given to young men when they refuse to take no for an answer and instead are let off the hook with the old “boys will be boys” excuse. Society is only slowly getting over this outmoded and ghastly treatment of our young. We are far from over this when as many as one in four American women are sexually molested or assaulted in the course of their lifetime.[/li]
[li]The “hidden damage” (an innapropriate term if ever there was one) is profound. The emotional scarring and sexual dysfunction that can accompany a victim throughout their entire life leaves behind a trail of mistrust, broken relationships, self destructive behavior and physical disorders that wreak havoc on the individual and society combined. When I think of how hard it is for a single guy like me to meet a lady, I can only reflect upon the near constant fear of attack that many women endure in and out of their homes. I inwardly applaud and cheer whenever I see a “Take Back The Night” bumpersticker on a woman’s car.[/li]
[li]The legal system is only slowly catching up to the measures needed to eradicate this pestilence upon over half of our population. That rape victims routinely have their sexual history paraded in courtroom attacks upon their veracity is an example of how slow this progress is. That we have had to pass (nearly unconstitutional) “Megan’s Laws” in so many states solely to protect our children speaks volumes about how far we have to go. Having major institutions such as our churches obstruct, impede and often deny what amounts to condoned child abuse by their clergy can only remind us of the throwback mentality that still pervades our society.[/li]There are solutions. One of which I support most enthusiastically is abolishing the statute of limitations on all DNA crimes. Abusers and rapists will never be able to escape the shadow of guilt cast upon this world by their crimes. Modern technology will only improve our forensic abilities and the concommitant visitation of justice upon the guilty. Mandatory DNA profiling of all sexual predators is but another step towards eliminating these scum from our lives. Voluntary chemical castration may need to be considered in extreme cases, but that approaches the slippery slope of government intrusion on a person’s body. As a supporter of reproductive choice I am loathe to allow such sanctioned incursions.
I see that another half dozen posts have been made to this thread while I have been composing this reply. I welcome comment upon any of the points that I have made and encourage all of you to add your own perceptions as to how we can end this awful scourge upon our women and children.
[sup]THIS ONE’S FOR YOU BUD, CHIN UP, I LOVE YOU.[/sup]