Anyone been fired? Anyone been embarrassed? Anyone get drunk and forgot what happened, but someone told you the next day?
Did you want to get away?
My last job, our top sales guy got fired after punching the CEO and some other senior executives in the crotch at the Christmas party.
“Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I’ve got to plead ignorance on this. 'Cause if anyone had said anything to me at all that that sort of thing was frowned upon …”
Were they standing in a convenient line at the time? Can’t imagine not being ejected from the premises after the first crotch-punch.
Sales guys really seem to have a knack for getting fired at the Christmas party.
“No, they wanted me to. Y’know, fetish stuff . . .”
The last work-related office party I attended was little more than a suck-up fest. I was still working at the military command, and as soon as the CO showed up, the ass-kissers lined up to be seen with and by him. My husband and I sat and chatted with one of the lowly officers in attendance then left early. That was 18 or 19 years ago.
But I’ve never been to the legendary office party where people get drunk and make total asses of themselves. Not my idea of a good time.
We’re thinking about attending the party where we both work now - it’s a family owned and operated company and most of the folks we deal with are pretty nice. And it’s free dinner, so there’s that. 
Ejected by who? It’s not like the executives of a smallish software consulting firm walk around with a security detail.
I don’t know. They announced his firing a few weeks later and we eventually pieced together the story.
I think the ball-punching may have been written off as his regular “horseplay”. But he made some “non PC” comments in front of the wrong people from outside the firm and it had the potential to become an HR/legal issue.
Never at office parties - my employers were too cheap to have an open bar, so intoxication would be prohibitively expensive - we all drank like fish and required large quantities of alcohol to “have fun”.
Damned cheap-ass bastards…
My favorite holiday party happened when I worked in a chemistry lab. We were drinking liquor out of beakers (at least 3 oz). I remember that at some point someone set up off the overhead safety shower.
What saved us was that everyone was very drunk, and no one remembered much of what happened.
The company my husband used to work for held a weekend party at a beautiful resort. The partying went on late into the night. One employee was invited to another employees room for drinks. By the time he had remembered (two a.m.), he was incredibly drunk and could not remember the room number. So he banged on the wrong door and when a lady opened it, he demanded to come in for drinks. The lady refused and I do believe he cussed her out. Come Monday morning, he was fired, because that lady’s family name happens to be on all the company’s buildings. This is a PSA story for why you don’t get drunk at work functions.
In addition to a formal Christmas party, a great place I worked for offered a summer family-oriented picnic every year. It was held at a ranch in Southern California and everything was provided. Games, food, beer, you name it. Free ice cold beer and a hot summer day resulted in a number of memorable stories. But with all those kids and spouses around no one ever went off the deep end, behavior-wise.
The ranch must have paid their employees pretty well because for the five years I participated the same ranch crew was present. The beer booth was staffed by Katy, an attractive single woman in her late 20s-early 30s. How do I know she was single? I came to learn that Katy actively encouraged the men to hit on her. I fell for it too, but never got a date. Nevertheless, I was told by many of my male coworkers that she was a fun date. Talk about working a crowd.
There was a time when office parties were a helluva lot of fun. I worked for a place that would raffle tons of great prizes , like cash and electronics and tickets to amusement parks, etc. Everyone also looked forward to the Halloween parties. All work would stop and everyone would gather around for the costume contest, the winner of which would go home with $500.
Nowadays employers don’t seem to do diddly for their employees, at least not the one’s I’ve been working for.
As for advice, the obvious and most often ignored is for Pete’s sake, don’t get all trashed and make an ass of yourself. Watching a co-worker (or anyone for that matter) spew everywhere is a real buzz killer and not great for that person’s career.