I have to agree with the “Gotta go” one because that damn song gets stuck in your head and next thing you know you’re singing it to yourself in public when you don’t even have to go.
The diarrhea dancers … that’s just wrong. I want to find the people responsible for that ad and force feed them mayonaisse and raw chicken that’s been left out in the sun for a couple days. Let’s see them do the diarrhea dance.
I absolutely loathe the Tampax commercial where the chick is at a party and goes to the bathroom on the second floor of the house. She is stupid enough to put her precious tampon on the open window sill (the toilet is on the other side of the room) so when it blows out the window she must rummage through the host’s cabinet and waste every single tampon and pad the woman has in order to retrieve her own precious tampon because it’s special. There was no reason she couldn’t run downstairs and retrieve the lost tampon. Instead this insensitve witch decided to waste someone else’s feminine products and goes back downstairs to her boyfriend happily smiling about how she screwed the nice hosts over.
I also hate all other feminine hygeine commercials, especially the ones for tampons and pads that insist on showing us close up butt shots of women squatting, riding bikes, sitting, standing, jumping up and down, etc and they’re always wearing white. Yeah, right.
The absolute worst commercial ever was the Herbal Essence commercial with that chick from Ally McBeal. She did the most horrific fake orgasm, it was an embarrassment to womankind. Whenever this commercial came on I had to mute the sound and look away. Thankfully, they finally pulled it.
The incessant promotional spots for the syndicated debut of Sex in The City now running on the various Turner channels. Merely the sounds of those voices now puts me on edge. Unless those women are involved in a steel cage death-match with spiked clubs and motorcycle chains, I ain’t interested in seeing them.
And I want the classic Roman gladiator rules, not the cable wrestling ones. And the winner is fed to the lions anyway, just out of spite.
“Can you hear me now?” YES, I can hear you; I’ve heard you the past 126,719 times I’ve seen this commercial. Now for Og’s sake, will you please STFU!!!
You mean the “I wove cawamel” Pwincess Pwecious wannabes? If so, I agree wholeheartedly. Caramel Aero sounds really, really good, but I refuse to buy it because of that commercial.
I hate the Pepto dancers, but the one I really, truly despise is the Milk of Magnesia lady and her poor husband Raymond. If I were him, I’d have beaten her over the head with a 3# sledge hammer years ago. (I’d use one that light so my arm wouldn’t get tired so fast.)
And those damn bears dancing around waving toilet paper at each other and rubbing their asses on the trees. Yes, I realize their supposed to be shitting behind the tree and wiping with the paper, but it really looks like their just rubbing their asses on the trunk.
Oh, and any commercial that involves blue body fluids. You know, where they pour blue fluid on toilet paper or pads or tampons to show you how absorbent it is? I’m sorry, if you’re secreting anything blue, you have much bigger problems than how absorbent your pad/tampon/paper. (Except for the time they put me on Urimax and I peed blue for a month. But possible kidney/bladder stones still counts as bigger problems, I guess.)
I’m especially unfond of those Tampax Pearl ads where they talk about the revolutionary design that expands in girth as well as length. For one thing, wrapping one’s jewelry around one’s feminine hygiene products smacks of being crass and tacky (besides being just plain gross), and for another thing, that’s not a groundbreaking new design. ob tampons have been doing that for decades.
Ooooh! My nominee in the category of Annoying Feminine Hygiene Commercials is…well, uh, turns out I’m not real sure. I think it’s Kotex. Anyway, there’s a commercial out now that touts the quietness of its wrapper. One, a little sound of crinkling plastic in the ladies’ room never hurt anyone. Two, this commercial says to me, “Hey, you! Menstruator! Hide your shame!” Pisses me off no end. I think we can all deal with the fact that women bleed.
As for disgusting food sounds, I nominate that A-1 commercial (which I thankfully haven’t seen for a while) where the man and the dog sit down to eat. Then you hear all this revolting slobbering which you think is the dog, but it turns out to be the sound of the man licking his plate, then coming up with sauce all over his face. I love A-1 sauce, but that literally puts knots in my stomach.
I also hate the Gatorade commercials previously mentioned, and it’s not just because the sweat is the wrong color. I don’t want to see that much fluid spewing out of someone’s pores no matter what color it is.
I’ll agree and raise you phones and doorbells in commercials, too. I cannot stand Domino’s commercials because they always throw in an extra doorbell ring at the end when the commercial is ending so everytime I think it’s my doorbell and panic (I don’t like surprise visitors).
I remembered another gross commercial. The one with the cartoon toenail dermatophyte that talks like Rodney Dangerfield. Even though it’s animated every time I see him lift up that toenail I cringe and clench my toes. I have to look away now whenever it comes on.
Another beautiful example. Wahahahaha, look, he’s a degenerate animal who can’t control his appetite and makes inappropriate noise while eating! That makes me want to buy the same product!
I forget if these are commericals for DisneyWorld or for Universal Studios, but they have had a couple of commercials recently which feature a very heavy black woman with enormous breasts – in one commercial crushing her kids to them when the roller coaster drops, and in another dancing for joy during a parade, swinging them ominously from side to side and putting bystanders at risk. Very weird, and I just can’t imagine that the commercial makers would ever use a similarly built white woman in this role.
I don’t know which drug it’s for (Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, etc.), but I hate the one where everyone keeps asking the guy, “Is there something different about you?” “Did you get your hair cut?” I always want to scream, “No, he’s got a huge hard-on, you morons!”
The Levitra commercial with the guy throwing the football into the tire swing slays me too. I think my husband almost fell out of his chair when I explained my analysis to him. So the guy can’t get his ball through the hole (can’t get it up), but when he takes Levitra, he can stick it right in there over and over again. Then his wife comes out, and they go in the house to make whoopee and live happily ever after. Not to mention that the Levitra “flame” looks a helluva lot like a vagina.
I can’t remember for the life of me what it was for, but the commercial with the singing belly-buttons that was popular a year or two ago always made me feel slightly ill.
And the Levi’s (I think–some jean company, anyway) commercials that were shot hidden-camera style in dressing rooms, showing how people try on their jeans–girls checking how big their ass looks, dancing a little to check the comfort level, etc. The idea of the commercial didn’t upset me–I always check to see how my butt looks when I buy a new pair of pants (the answer usually being “big”), it’s the hidden-camera deal. Freaks me the hell out, and makes me paranoid in dressing rooms everywhere.
All those ads that show the lengths that slackers will go to to get some chocolate milk (buying a bunch of chocolate biscotti, smashing them, and pouring them into a bottle of milk), but especially the one with the guy who has a bottle of milk and a bottle of chocolate syrup. He pours some milk into his mouth, then some syrup, then gargles to mix it up… dude, just drink off some milk, pour the syrup in the freaking bottle, then shake.
It’s just so pointlessly self-defeating: “Hey, chocolate milk is cool! Good freaking luck finding someplace to buy it, though. See how much trouble these guys are having?”
Along those lines, the commercials which show slack-jawed morons going to extreme lengths just to shake up a damn bottle. They all grate on my nerves, but the one in particular that annoys me is the one where the guy grabs a bottle from a store cooler, then scratches off the bar code. The ignorant clerk then moves the bottle back and forth across the bar code reader in a vain attempt to scan it. Ho ho! What a clever lad! He fooled someone else into shaking his goddamn bottle of chocolate milk! Because he’s too much of a damn-ass to figure out how to shake it himself, I guess.
Another commercial that at first seemed clever is one of the Juicy-Fruit Strappleberry candy / gum / whatever the hell it’s supposed to be commercials - the one in the office where some hapless schmoe’s co-workers go to extreme lengths to obtain this wonderful product. The problem is, they go to such extreme lengths just to steal goddamn candy from a co-worker! What the hell?! These people don’t have a buck to feed into the same vending machine that Hapless Schmoe just did? But then, I guess that given they’re spending all their time lying in wait for Hapless Schmoe instead of working, they probably don’t have much money after all…
