NEWS RELEASE FROM THE STATE DEPARTMENT:
It has recently come to our attention that our military is running low on a vital resource necessary to the continuance of our campaign in Afghanistan. Due to the extroadinary technological sophistication of our military we have come to depend on computers for everything from communications to munitions. It has become apparant that one of the most important aspects of computers is that they use electrons. Since our campaign is of such a broad scope we will unfortunatly have to begin the rationing of electrons to computer users. We will start the rationing to posts made at the, uh, “Straight Doop.Com” (sic) message board. However, since we don’t want the people to think that we do not care about them, we will be lending to the “Straight Doop” posters, or “doopers” as they like to be called, government issued snails with which to send their posts. I have been assured that the snails are compatible with cable modems, so that shouldn’t be too much of a problem. One of the side effects however is that when a post is sent at “Straight Doop” it will take up to five years to go through, and when it finally does, it will take another six years for it to register on the main boards. We know that the people at “Straight Doop” will support us in this, because there is nothing more American than looking like a complete idiot by posting the exact same thing two or more times because you still haven’t seen your first post show up on the board.
God bless America and good night.
So here’s my double post.