LOS ANGELES (AP) – On Wednesday, Gary Coleman, the star of the 1980s sitcom, “Diff’rent Strokes,” plunked down $3,500 in Alameda County and declared himself a candidate for governor of California. Current governor Gray Davis is facing a recall election Oct. 7. The diminutive actor has been in and out of legal trouble since the popular show ended, and was recently on the E! series “Star Dates,” where stars and singles mingle with mixed results.Arnold Schwarzenegger also announced his candidacy Wednesday while taping “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.” He ended a news conference by telling reporters “I’ll be back.”
—This isn’t a Governor’s race, it’s a heartwarming sitcom about a washed-up midget actor and an Austrian muscleman, and how they have to share the Governor’s mansion when a wacky tie is declared!
We’re The Governor! (NBC, 8:00)
Zaniness results when Gov. Gary gets trapped inside a giant Bachelor Party cake and Gov. Arnold accidentally delivers it to a press conference rather than his pal’s party. Costarring Phyllis Diller as Dame Margaret Thatcher; Carrot Top as the Press Secretary; Jacklie Mason as Ariel Sharon; and Mary Bono as herself.
Well, you know, Gary Coleman could clean up California. When people come to him with crackpot ideas, he could always whip out a “whatchu talkin’ 'bout, Willis?”
Now I’ve got a song running through my head…
It takes Different Strokes to rule the world, yes it does…it takes different strokes to rule the WWWOOOORRRLLLLDDDD.
My local paper is the one that’s fronted Gary’s campaign. The write-ups on his candidacy are pretty funny, and it really doesn’t seem any less absurd than some of the others running.
Larry Flynt, the “the smut peddler who cares”[sup]*[/sup] is running, and is quoted as saying:
“I may be paralyzed … but not from the neck up, like Gray Davis.”
[sup]*[/sup] Reportedly his actual campaign slogan.
According to this, Gallagher is still getting signatures (note: all you need is 65 ).
The next recall election will be a show on Fox, of course.
Seriously. Just get a couple more people, like oh I don’t know, Hulk Hogan and Jimmie Walker, put them all in a big-ass mansion, then have the viewers call in with their vote. Last one standing wins.
The scary thing is that in a culture so identified with celebrity like the United States (and even more so in California) one of the celebs has a decent shot of winning given the way the ballot structure is designed.
At least if it happens and Gallagher or Colemen is elected it’ll guarantee a democratic rallying cry for California during ther 2004 election cycle. Having a nonsensical governor would be a great thing to pin on the statewide republicans.
Concerned about terrorism, the secret service send Gov. Arnold into seclusion and replace him with a robot double. Unfortunately the software in the robot isn’t fully debugged, so it can only utter Arnold’s lines from the first Terminator movie. Even worse is that no one really notices.
(cue Odd Couple theme music)
You know, this makes me wish I was back in Austin and the serious and deliberate tone of Texas politics.
