Gravity sucks

I’d just like to tell everyone that thanks to our good ole friend gravity, I have a nice bruise on my ass. Seems that when you’re walking and your feet decide that they don’t want to touch the ground anymore, you tend to accelerate towards earth and hit it quite hard. When you hit the ground at such velocity the human body tends to absorb energy in a specific region, in my case it was my bum. Thank you, gravity, for making my ass hurt!

“I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”
– Calvin and Hobbes
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I vote that they repeal the law of gravity…I fell down my stairs and hurt my back because of it…It also makes me appear to weigh a lot…

An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.

Ya know what gets me about gravity? Let’s say I’m drinking a beer.

“I’m drinking a beer.”

And let’s say I want to put it somewhere for a minute, like 6 inches past the edge of the bar.

“I want to put it somewhere for a minute, like 6 inches past the edge of the bar.”

Every damn time that bottle will move toward the floor at 32 f/s/s (I know. I’ve timed it.) It will then collide with the floor. Next thing I know, there’s Guiness all over my Reeboks. Someone owes me $70!

Carpe hoc!

Sounds to me like you attented the “Pldennison School Of Self-Propulsion”.

You take it for granted until you forget to pay the gravity bill. I hate it when they shut my gravity off. You don’t notice it until after you wake up in the middle of the night to take a squirt.

Gravity doesn’t suck… It pulls!

Brian O’Neill
CMC International Records

ICQ 35294890
AIM Scrabble1
Yahoo Messenger Brian_ONeill

You know they’ve shut off your gravity when the cows are jumping over the moon.

For years, I’ve been floating a proposal to do away with the law of gravity, but the people in charge have decided to deal with weightier matters first.

Chaim Mattis Keller

“Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.”
– Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective

Gravity, chum, is a harsh mistress.

Wait’ll you hit 40, folks, and Mr. Gravity slips the horse-shoe into the boxing glove . . . I look about the same as I did when I was 25, but everything’s mysteriously about two inches lower.

“Everytime I think I’m out, it pulls me back in.”

Flora - the same thing happened to me! Do you think we could sue for damages?
I’ve always preferred the opposite of gravity - comedy.