Drungo Larue Hazewood - former Orioles farmhand.
Jacque Jones - current Twin
Milton Bradley - current Expo (unless they’ve sent him back to Ottawa again)
Howard Johnson
It’s only college footbal - but the kid is real good
Butter Pressy
It may be a smidge juvenile, but I will NEVER fail to crack up when I check out a Sabres box score and notice that Satan scored a power-play goal.
**Napoleon Lajoie
Ugeth Urbina
Mordecai ‘Three Fingers’ Brown
Rube Wadell
Thurman Munson
Baseball
- Virgil Trucks - Pitcher, Detroit - 40’s
- Horace Speed - Outfielder, Cleveland - 80’s
- Elroy Face - Pitcher, Pittsburgh Pirates - 50’s & 60’s
- Eli Grba - Pitcher, Minnesota Twins (?) - 70’s (?)
- Al “The Mad Hungarian” Hrabosky - Pitcher, St. Louis/Kansas City - 80’s
- Everett Booe - Catcher, Pittsburgh - 20’s (?)
and I’m surprised no one has yet mentioned this gem:
- Wonderful Terrific Monds - minor leaguer
Basketball
- Bill “The Voweless Owl” Mlkvy - played for Temple U.
- Dikembe Mutombo
- Maute Bol
- Mugsy Bogues
- Spud Webb
How could I forget this name. Played on the same name as Stubby (yeah, does sound like a STD).
Scarborough Green
Saw him playing yesterday, for the Rangers, I think.
Played on the same team as…
(Note to self: Read preview.)
While Crumpler is a good name, I present thess Fightin’ Irish as best football names possible:
Michael Stonebreaker
Grant Irons
Arnaz Battle
Knute Rockne
Tony Driver
Tim Grunhard
Raghib Ishmael
Moose Krause
Bronko Nagurski
Bill Shakespeare
Worst:
Johnny “One Play” O’Brien
Corny Southall (not a nickname)
And oddly enough, there were two players named Norb Rascher. Yes, with a “B”.
How 'bout:
Harry Gant from NASCAR,
Garo Ypremian
Ty Law and Lawyer Milloy
Ara Parseghian (always sounded like a veal dish to me…)
Otis Nixon
Dick Butkus
Larry Csonka
Yes, I was going to mention Wonderful Terrific Monds, and current Nebraska I-Back Thunder Collins (it’s on his birth certificate). The strange thing is that neither of these guys is the first to have their name. Monds is the III and Collins is the II.
As for Major Applewhite, doesn’t that just scream southern white guy?
Zeke “Banananose” Bonura, ChiSox '34-'37, Senators '38 & '40, Giants '39, Cubs '40.
Oddibe McDowell
Bill Monbouquette
Chico Carrasquel
Wilhelmus Abraham Remerswaal
You forgot Hiawatha Francisco 
Marion Butts
Jayhawk Owens, who was a catcher for the Colorado Rockies a few years ago.
Anyone remember I.M. Hipp, a Nebraska (Oklahoma?) tailback from the late 70’s/early 80’s?
Okay, good. See, I was just gonna ask if there was a football player with that last name. I thought maybe I had hallucinated it, or that it was a joke and his first name was Seymour. 
Wasn’t there a group with the names Ham, Lamb and Jam at UT a few years ago? Some loser Longhorn tell me who I’m thinking about.
Tug McGraw