Great Company Slogans

Inspired by the company names thread, anyone see any really good company slogans? I always wanted to start a magazine store just so I could have a sign under the name reading, “We Have Issues.”

The only one I can remember offhand is a demolition company in Baltimore (can’t recall the company’s name, but it itself wasn’t funny) with the slogan, “We Destroy Everything We Touch.”

There is a foundation repair business in St Louis that goes by the slogan " A dry crack is a happy crack".

There also used to be a plumbing/septic system company in upstate NY that went by the slogan “We’re number one in the number two business”.

There’s a local electric repair company with the logo “Let us check your shorts.”

There’s a British magazine called Time and Tide (they published a lot of Tolkien’s stuff). I always thought that their slogan ought to be:

“We Wait for No Man”

Thety could use it to describe their policies on deadlines.

Wow, my entry seems pretty lame by comparison. A local travel agency has “Please go away. Now.” on their window.

Seen once on a septic company’s truck: If you’re not on our Shit List, you stink.

There’s a place in Baltimore that makes window blinds (we actually have some. . .good thick blinds that don’t curl on the sides) and on the back of their vans they have written,

“Caution: Blind man driving this van.”

I use to work for a lawnmower man whose slogan was, “Hardest working man in mow business.”

Oh, I just remembered a butcher store in Brooklyn with the slogan, “You Can’t Beat Our Meat!”

It’s not a slogan, but rather a truly great corporate name - one of the best I’ve ever encountered:

Death Wish Piano Movers

There’s an infamous butcher shop in New Orleans called Wagner’s, and they have huge billboards (plus T-shirts and bumperstickers that they sell) that say “You Can’t Beat Wagner’s Meat.” I still have the shirt, a hilarious souvenir from my old band’s first trip to N’awlins. We all bought one, even the guys who were vegetarians.

I’m also in the process of selling a vintage bowling shirt with a royal flush graphic on the back and a banner that reads “Ace High Plumbing: Home of the Royal Flush.”

Ever heard of a nightclub called the Funky Butt? A friend of mine used to work there. Their slogan was something like “It’s warm, it’s cozy, it’s tucked away.” I wonder if I still have the T-shirt my friend sent me.

The Pit Stop BBQ Joint in Tifton, GA advertises “The Best Butt In Georgia.” I’ve always thought they should say “Bite Our Butts.”

Last week, driving behind a pickup truck with pool-cleaning equipment in it’s bed, my wife & I had a good laugh.
In the rear window was the company name, surmounted with the motto

Makes you wonder about their commitment to quality, though…

A homestyle fried chicken restaurant in Kansas City (Stroud’s) has the slogan: “We Choke Our Own Chickens”.

When I lived in S. California, I was struck by the billboards of a local car dealer:

“Bring your wife in and we’ll dicker!”

For many years, a real estate agency in my town had a billboard featuring the slogan Get a lot while you’re young.

An intimate apparel store here has a sign that says “50% off all lingerie.” I always thought they’d drum up more business if it said “Our lingerie is half off.”

Leinkugel’s Big Butt Doppelbock has the slogan, “Grab a Big Butt Today!”

There’s a salvage yard visible from I-65 in Indiana. I can’t think of the name (Wrecks Inc. maybe?), but their slogan is “We Meet By Accident.”

I’ve been there, hung out there! I caught a jazz combo led by drummer Jason Marsalis (of the famous jazz family) there, and saw Dave Pirner, the lead singer of the band Soul Asylum, just hanging out at the bar, drinking with friends. Cool little club, although I haven’t been there since 1998.