“There’s nothing more ridiculous than a man chasing his hat.” – Miller’s Crossing.
“I am here to kick ass and chew bubblegum and I’m all out of bubblegum.”
This is what I came here to say. There’s too many good one liners that differ too much to say which is “best”, but this sure as heck is my favorite.
If you’re gonna shoot, shoot. Don’t talk.
One of the all-time best lines ever:
" … but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?"
Grover (handing George a second gun after he’s run out of bullets in his first): What you think this is, a Western?
– Silver Streak
From Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country:
Spock: “There is an ancient Vulcan proverb: ‘Only Nixon could go to China.’”
Klingon general: “Shakespeare is better in the original Klingon.”
Kirk (to shapeshifter formerly in beatiful-female-humanoid-form, now in Kirk-form): “I can’t believe I kissed you!”
Shapeshifter: “It must have been a lifelong fantasy!”
Clemenza: Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.
– The Godfather
Hunmphrey Bogart as Sam Spade in The Maltese Falcon: I don’t mind a reasonable amount of trouble.
Bogart as Philip Marlowe in The Big Sleep: I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners; I don’t like them myself. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them on long winter evenings.
Lauren Bacall, to Bogie as he hefts an unconscious girl in To Have and Have Not: What are you trying to do, guess her weight?
Michael Caine in Get Carter: You’re a big man, but you’re in bad shape. With me it’s a full time job. Now behave yourself.
Bob Hoskins in The Long Good Friday: “Nothing unusual,” he says! Eric’s been blown to smithereens, Colin’s been carved up, and I’ve got a bomb in me casino, and you say nothing unusual?
Audrey Hepburn in Charade: I already know an awful lot of people and until one of them dies I couldn’t possibly meet anyone else.
From the same movie:
General Sternwood: Have you met my daughter?
Marlowe: Yes, she tried to sit in my lap. I was standing up at the time.
From Shanghai Noon:
Jedediah’s Wife (watching the Chinese guards practicing martial arts): They don’t look like no Injuns I’ve ever seen, Jedediah.
Jedediah: That’s cuz they ain’t Injun’s woman! (Long pause) They’re Jews!
What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.
“I’ll never forget you, Hermione. You was the first woman I didn’t have to pay for.” – Going South.
I’ll have what she’s having.
No. I am your father.
“That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.”.
– from the movie Babe.
“I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.”
Daddy, daddy, look at the biiiig fish.
OH, S**T!
“I saved Latin!” - Max Fischer, Rushmore
For some reason, I hear that in Shrek’s voice. “That’ll do Donkey, that’ll do”