Note that this is not a thread for movie quotes or great dialog. It is for one-liners that do not depend on characters, context, or setup. It is for lines that stand well on their own.
“You’re happy. I hate that!”
“I’ve got just two words for you. Shut the fuck up.”
“The problem may have been that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf.”
You should not drink and bake.
Go ahead. Make My Day.
You remind me of myself about twenty years from now.
“They’re from New Jersey, Phil, they’ve seen butts before.”
“I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”
“If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you’d have invented Facebook.”
If I’d grown up on a farm and was retarded, then Bruges might impress me, but I didn’t, so it doesn’t.
Danny DeVito to Gene Hackman in Heist: “Don’t you want to hear my last words?”
Hackman: “I just did!”
“And east is east and west is west, and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.”
‘Dying ain’t much of a living, boy.’
“See you at the party, Richter!”
“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”
“What in the wide, wide world of sports is a-goin’ on here?”
“Don’t judge me, monkey.”
“Hey, Eddie! Dabbling in watercolors?”
“Is that a rabbit in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?”
“Everybody shut up for a minute! I gotta go take a piss and I don’t wanna miss nothin’!”
“It occurs to me that this would be a wonderful way to get children to drink their milk!”
Ah, to be young and insane!
“Life is like a brand new suit of clothes, If it don’t fit right, make alterations.”
“Carol the waitress, Simon the fag.”
“No, we’re not homosexual, but we are willing to learn.”
“Do you like apples? Well I got her number, how do you like them apples?”
“There’s so much time and so little to do. . . strike that, reverse it.”
“Learn it. Know it. Live it.”
“As long as there’s sex and drugs, I could do without the rock and roll.”
“We’re on a mission from god.”
Do not attempt to grow a brain.
“It’s such a fine line between clever and stupid”
“The moment things don’t go your way, you all start acting like a bunch of poncey hairdressers!”