Greeting Cards for Folks Having an Affair

Yes, you read that headline correctly. Seeking to fill a niche market, a lady from Bethesda, MD has created a line of cards you aren’t likely to find at Hallmark any time soon. While I’m sure that some will find the idea to be in poor taste, I just hope it doesn’t give outfits like NAMBLA any ideas. :eek:

Buy a box ful and put them on the spouse’s Visa. Watch ensuing fireworks…


“Roses are red
Violets are blue
When I’m in bed with my wife
I’m thinking of you.”

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You’re boning your wife
And I am, too

This documentation will be useful at the child support hearings.

Mailing a greeting card to the home of the married person you’re sleeping with sounds pretty incredibly stupid, doesn’t it? Shall we take bets on how long till the first premeditated murder after such an occurence?

C’mon. Use your imagination. Think of an office flirt that turns serious-you drop the card in their cube. You put it on the pillow at Ernie’s No-Tell Motel. Or you get a PO Box for illicit correspondence.

I’m sure someone will come up with a card for THAT.

Oh, I’m not dumb enough to do that. But lots of people are.

Roses are red
violets are blue

Do they have a card for when you’ve had “*Rodeo Sex”?

You mount your wife from behind, whisper your mistresses name in her ear and try to hang on for 8 seconds.

Violets are blue,
roses are red.
Be sure to keep names right,
when talking in bed.

Roses are red,
My EPT turned blue,
I’ve just called your wife,
and she’s looking for you.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
This is a subpoena
From my lawyer to you.

I yearn for you darling,
whether you’re near or far
so for heaven’s sake don’t leave
your undies in my car

There really is a card for every occasion.

I once sent a card to my ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend. It was nice Christmas card. In it, I included a photo of me and my then-sweetie, and a live 5.56mm round. It was tough to fold the card over and seal the envelope, but I made it work.

*NOTE: See the note below.

[sub]*NOTE: NO I really didn’t do it, but it sounds good.[/sub]

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue
You didn’t have herpes
But now you do.

Roses are red
asphalt is black
thanks for the time
you spent on your back

Lights in the driveway
Her husband came home early
I’m out the back door

Hey diddle diddle
with her i do fiddle
when the sun is replaced
by the moon
but the last time i did ride her
i finished inside’er
the next 9 months will be inopportune

say…this is fun