Not Exactly New (though “classic” may be a bit of a stretch)
This is possibly the funniest, most badass quote in the whole thing–maybe the funniest thing I’ve read in about a bajillion years!
I wanna see this movie so bad I’m actually willing to go to a theater, which is really a huge concession because I frakkin’ HATE going to theaters–maybe I’ll get mad godlike ninja dropkick skillz from watching the movie so I can fuck up anybody who annoys me during the flick–yeah, that’s probably what’ll happen…
Where do I find more of his reviews? I tried looking on the aintitcool site, but couldnt find any.
Try doing a site search on Cumptson’s name.
Thanks. Most of them are unreadable to me though, due to bad layout. It makes me so mad I feel like letting out a string of juvenile metaphors.
Don’t know where he is, but there’s definitely an operational drive-in theater near Ennis, TX on I-45.
I’ve driven by it, and there are definitely first-run movies listed and showing.
His juvenile, yet highly entertaining, style reminds me of Seanbaby.
The gun for a leg thing seems pretty stupid,but i like Kurt Russell so I will watch it
Beautiful downtown Abilene, home of the Town and Country Drive-In. Thinking of moving to Austin or back to Houston, though.
Total hijack-I live near Abilene, and we are thinking of moving to Austin also!
Sort of back to the OP: Lamesa, Tx. has a drive-in movie, the only cool thing there, and there is a nice one between Midland and Odessa.
Wait, is he implying that movies today are in trouble of having too much substance? :rolleyes:
I think Hollywood is actually more about “TITS THEN A MONSTER THEN MORE TITS THEN AN EXPLOSION THEN BONUS TITS” today than it was 80 years ago.
You’re forgetting about the 1922 classic Monster From the Exploding Tits, starring Mary Miles Minter and Wallace Reid, and featuring Lon Chaney as Dr. Titmonster.
I like this bit:
I may not see the movie, but I’ll definitely be looking for more of this guy’s reviews.
Overhead recently:
FIRST YOUNG GUY: Dude, I’ve gotta see this new movie Grindhouse!
SECOND YOUNG GUY: What’s it about?"
FIRST YOUNG GUY: It’s like Snakes on a Plane, except there are no snakes and no plane.
This, and the fact that he keeps referring to Planet Terror as Planet of Terror, reminds me of Jackie Harvey, the Onion Hollywood-gossip character who always messes up simple names. I’m guessing this is intentional on the part of Cumpston’s writing style. I think it’s very funny. Fuck-a-dilly.
Cheesy, over-the-top, mindless entertainment? Absolutely. And I am so down with this. 
Oh lordy I can’t wait. It’s gonna be fantastic! Tarantino is a God, and Rodrigues is a pretty worthy apostle. I have little doubt it’s going to be one of my favorite films of the year.
My husband and I watched a theater employee put up a huge Grindhouse
standup in the corner of the lobby a few weeks ago. We offered to help but I guess it was against the rules. Man that thing was sweet. If we had a spare room-sized space to put up, we’d try to snag one.
You wanna see Stardust AND The Golden Compass AND Grindhouse? Are you my long-lost twin, or what??
I’m not stalking you, honest, but we want to see all the same movies.
Hot, yes. But if I’d lost my leg and was about to go into a gunfight, I would want a prosthetic I could walk on, and then I’d carry my gun in my hands, which makes it much easier to aim. Otherwise, however, I have high hopes this film maintains the high standards of realism you would expect of a zombie action flick with boobs. 
Where’s your vision, man? Let me repeat: Rose McGowan… with a gun… FOR A LEG!
I bet the Charmed writers are kicking themselves that they didn’t come up with the “Rose McGowan with a gun for a leg” concept first.
Guns for arms are also hot (see: Samus Aran), but that’s played out. Gun for a leg? Genius!
Don’t forget, it’s also on another planet…of terror.
That’s okay. The police officers over here are just nice friendly guys who stopped by for a quick chat. I promise.
(Bring yourself up to Toronto sometime, for the movie-going experience…)