I am having trouble getting over the texting, too. I know, logically, that it’s a quick and easy way to communicate, and I occasionally abbreviate. But… it just seems like they’re teenagers. I guess the content of the texts doesn’t help much. Okay, I’m a bitter old woman.
Also, OP did the right thing. Integrity sucks, yes, but she lied to you off the bat. Not only would it have probably ended badly, it would have been even harder gaining any sympathy with a beginning like that.
Now that I’m married, I have an impression of the situation that’s different than the impression I had when I was single.
I don’t see where integrity comes into it. You met a woman who said she was single, when it turns out that she wasn’t. She was obviously into you, and you into her. She wants to continue the relationship. Why should the fact that she has a boyfriend keep you from doing what you want? Maybe she’ll leave him for you, you’ll fall in love and live the rest of your lives happily ever after. Maybe not. But it’s not as if she said she was married- that’s a line I wouldn’t cross- but she’s obviously not terribly committed to her relationship. Is a person only considered ‘available’ if they’re not actively seeing anyone? Do you have to wait until she breaks up with him and is technically single before she’s date-able?
I think you shouldn’t let your knowledge of her boyfriend affect the continuation of a relationship with her.
Everybody lies. Sure you did the ‘right thing’ but so what? You also denied yourself a little harmless entertainment. If handling it the way you did makes you feel better then all’s good, I wouldn’t knock you for it.
hot chicks don’t need no spelling 
You’re right - sort of. But if Shakes wins her over and they start dating, he’s now dating someone with a history of cheating. That rarely goes over well. She didn’t seem to be too concerned about that, which is the concern.
If she had texted back with something like “Hey - it was really nice meeting you. I’m a bit embarrassed by what happened. You see, I’m currently dating someone. If you’d be interested in meeting for drinks sometime, I’d like to talk to you about it.”
Otherwise, she’s just looking for something casual on the side. If Shakes is cool with something casual, that’s fine - but it’s not the basis of anything long-term (or, at least, the chances of that are severely diminished).
My mother texts like that (well, not that sort of subject matter) and she’s 68.
To be honest, this isn’t some sort of moral high ground I’m standing on that spoiled it for me. I’ve been cheated on, I know how bad it hurts, getting involved with someone who is so seemingly apathetic to that just kind of makes my stomach turn.
Kind of hard to get an erection with a sour stomach. Which I think is a necessity for SFT.
Meant to say this earlier: That’s an awesome adage; any idea who it’s from?
I didn’t want to sound like an a-hole. I appreciate your feelings on the matter, I’ve also been cheated on we seem to have adjusted to it differently. I have also done the cheating, I won’t rant about my feelings on monogamy. I am because it’s expected of me. I take it as human nature and roll with it on a case by case basis.
In the long run you’ll probably be better off with your stance.
As for the sour stomach, concentrate, concentrate, concentrate. As the man said “A hard euphemism has no conscience.”
Didn’t we just have this thread?
Dude! Thaks for ruining sex for me. From now on when I have sex I’m going to have a picture of Yoda in my mind saying “Concentrate! Concentraaaate!!” (Empire Strikes Back reference for all you non geeks out there)
I’ll get back to you after I google “Jedi Kama Sutra”
How do you know if she’s not shopping around for a better boyfriend? That better boyfriend could be you.
I stole my wife from another man. We didn’t actually “do” anything until she officially broke up with him though. We’ve been married 10 years and were together 5 years before that and she has never cheated on me (as far as I know).
I’d say to ask her out and try to figure out where her current relationship is at and act accordingly.
Read this as We BBQ’d the kids, had fun, got lots of treats… :eek:
I’ve eaten BBQ’d kid. Not bad, more beefy than porky. The closest taste I can relate is goat.
Jedi Kama Sutra was a major disappointment. Not a Twi’lek to be seen.
I spent a few years as a single mom, and you are right, you don’t want to expose your kid to anything potentially embarassing for you or confusing to him. But also, by the time he was not very old I could tell if he was in a deep sound sleep. The fresh air and exercise and excitement of trick or treating would’ve knocked my kid out sufficiently that I’d have felt okay about necking in the house.
I’m almost with you on this…but not quite. My advice to Shakes would be to let her know that he’d like her to keep his number in case she finds herself unencumbered. I feel kinda golden rule-y about stuff like this. Besides, how do we know her boyfriend isn’t the super jealous crazy sort of guy who will slash Shakes’ tires or poison his pets.
But, to more directly answer the OP…yeah it sucks when doing what you know is the right thing keeps you from experiencing what you’re pretty sure would be at least a good thing. Yeah, I’m talking to you Andy…
When I recieve a text that is just “?” I always send back “!”
It irritates the living crap out of me that so few people understand that sentiment.
No, she wasn’t married and was clearly not committed to her guy (what kind of guy doesn’t accompany his woman on Halloween anyway? Maybe she was testing you to see if you’re an unscrupulous douche or a man of principle–here’s to hope!), but I can’t comprehend the level of selfish you’d have to have to not empathize for the cuckold.
You do that with jobs, not with people. Besides, if she’s the kind of person who can’t be single…bleah, who wants that? My wholly unqualified observation is that she’s a borderline personality disorder patient who was looking for some affirmation of her desirability. I believe I read on the Dope somewhere: “Don’t stick your dick in the crazy!”
One more thing: Highly attractive girl does not necessarily equal highly satisfying sex. Pretties are good for looking at, but it’s a mistake to assume that they shag as good as the look.
“See” is one thing–sometimes I get lazy in texting because it’s a lot harder than writing on a keyboard. But “Don’t say nothin’” DOUBLE NEGATIVE EXPLODE