A recent test of 100 public baby diaper-changing tables in UK restrooms has revealed that a large number of them tested positive for cocaine residue.
What do you think the percentage was? 20? 30? 50? Higher?
Did you guess 92?
Yes… **92 **out of 100 baby changing tables tested positive for cocaine. Wow.
I’m kind of amused that their take-away idea is “wipe down the changing table before changing your baby because, omgz, cocaine!”
Because mine was, “whoa, I wonder how many E. coli infections those coke users get.” 
Mine was "Wow, cokeheads in the UK get started early!
“Oh isn’t it cute! Junior just snorted his first line!”
Well, would the question have been as surprising if it were thus:
"How many public restrooms in the U.K. tested positive for traces of cocaine?"
I don’t think it’s such a surprise that people are using cocaine in the restroom–they can’t really do it on the street corner. The baby table is just the most convenient surface in the restroom.
Or maybe 92 is the percent of babies actually doing coke. Nobody ever suspects the babies…
Except for Der Trihs apparently…
Really? are you sure?
well there was the time I was at Ford Field for a long time at a marching band competitioin. I pulled open the baby changing station to hold my coat, while I washed and primped, and spoke kindly to the kids using the automatic handtoweler. I had time to kill fer GS! and all of sudden two staffers strolled in, kinda gave me the eye - WTH? It was the use of the baby changing station i bet…who knew
wash your hands again!
Don’t those snorters know there are baby butts on that surface?
I think once you’re snorting coke off a baby changing table, healthy living has ceased to be your top concern.
(two cokeheads burst into a bathroom, frantically looking around with a bag of dope in their hands…)
Cokehead A: “Hey, go pull that baby-changing station down, we can just use that to do this shit.”
Cokehead B: “Ok. Wait, you know, those aren’t the most sterile surfaces. And I don’t know about you but my body is a temple.” “So go wet down some toilet paper first…”
I’m surprised it wasn’t 100 percent. Everybody knows how many bills test for drugs, or is that an urban legend? Must go ask my border patrol friends…
To me, this suggests that British babies poop cocaine.
This suggests that cocaine, which can be detected in minute quantities, will be found on any surface tested.
Yes, that’s what I meant. 92% of bathrooms will test positive, whether they have baby-changing tables or not.
Maybe this was where the rumors about vodka soaked tampons started?
People today, I swear…
If you can’t go through the trouble of rolling up hundred dollar bills and doing it off a hooker’s backside like an ADULT, then you shouldn’t be doing coke at all!
Actually, I tried that, but when the hooker got on the changing table, it broke.
I must confess that I’m surprised the British are such party animals.
If such was the case, I would not be in the slightest bit surprised if the dopeheads started eating it. They would literally be shit-faced in more ways than one.
I must admit I’m shocked!
I didn’t think we called them diapers.