Susanann, my experience in teaching several people to shoot, many of them women and one a small teenager, is that if I approach the recoil issue from the beginning, let them know it will happen but that it’s not any big deal and that they won’t drop the gun, lose control or have anything bad happen, they approach it as a natural thing and don’t get flinchy.
That being said, I can’t deny that there are certainly benefits to including a .22 into the matrix. That’s why I recommend using a “full-size” handgun along with a .22. Ideally, the person I’m teaching will have a .357 and a .22 LR in similar sizes. S&W and Rugers both make both calibers on the same frames, which is great for inculcating “feel”. As a result, I have them start with .50 rounds out of the .22, put 100 through the .357 and then finish with 50 .22s.
Unfortunately, I’ve only had a couple people I taught who had both guns, but renting one or the other at the range was just as effective.
While every student is different and will respond differently, I’ve never had a bad or flinchy shooter come out of teaching them with a full-sized weapon. It’s just a matter of paying attention to the problems they’re having as they progress and addressing them before they become habits, just like teaching anything else.
That being said, I’m very glad you’re teaching people to shoot, and it sounds like you’re very conscientious. Stylistic differences or no, thank you for teaching responsibility and accuracy.
When I get static for carrying a 9mm (particularly when Mrs. FA carries a .45), I remind people that placement is what counts, and I’d gladly put the performance of a 147 hydra-shok to the heart or teeth against a 230 hyrda-shok to the thigh or shoulder any day.
Keep your powder dry.