Okay, bear with me, since I may not be able to adequately describe this odd scene.
I’m tooling around Home Depot on Saturday, and I spy this guy who has something weird going on. He’s wearing what look to me like nylon running shorts/swim trunks. Over that he is wearing a clear plastic apron of sorts. It goes all around him, almost like a skirt. This plastic is just about as long as his shorts.
Other observations -
He’s walking a little funny (like maybe he’s got a load in his pants)
His shorts are a little puffy, as if covering up an adult diaper, bandage, etc.
The bulkiness of his shorts is more pronounced in the front than the back (in other words, not what you’d expect if the guy were wearing Depends, etc.)
My thoughts (chronologically) -
It’s Home Depot, so he’s probably sporting some form of protective gear for whatever project he’s got going on. Maybe it protects him from paint splatter, dangerous tools, whatever.
He’s incontinent and wearing a diaper - the plastic keeps what he sits on dry.
He’s recovering from surgery - it’s a bandage he’s got on, but I don’t know why the plastic would figure in.
He has some disorder/malfunction/issue with any number of various parts of his plumbing. Perhaps the plastic shields his environment from possible leakages/accidents.
I’m not sure why this fascinates me so. It just seemed random and unusual. So… anyone have any theories of what the heck this is? Am I reading too much into it, or is this some complex situation that this guy is dealing with?
I have to discount the diaper theory on the grounds that today’s adult diapers are like today’s baby diapers - high absorbency and pretty much leak-proof, obviating the use of protective plastic.
Did the plastic part go up under his shirt?
A co-worker of my husband’s had something like that after back and pelvis surgery after a car accident…it was flexible plastic and fit most of his torso, but was hinged at the hips so he could sit down. It made him sit up very straight, though.
I only saw it once, so I may not be remembering it correctly.
I would say he has a problem w/ his rear end. Something smelly is comming out and the plastic shields it from the public so he can work.
Home depot seems to be hiring more and more disabled people, which I guess it a good thing. But I wanted to get an item that I didn’t know what it is called. the person I asked for help couldn’t hear. Gave me a pad and paper to write down what I wanted - but I didn’t know what it was called and didn’t want to either draw it or write a long discription.
A colostomy bag is not a big plastic apron worn over puffy nylon shorts. It is a small (about the size of two fists together) rubbery plastic bag attached to the stoma on your abdomen (the opening) and is completely invisible under street clothes. I am personally acquainted with a beautiful, charming, witty college girl who you would never guess is wearing a colostomy bag under her designer jeans.
Was this guy an employee or a customer? Was he buying stuff? Was he wearing other clothes, too? Was it the kind of apron that has a little pocket all around the bottom hem, to drop small things like nuts and bolts in?
If he was a customer, what are the chances it was just a plastic apron of some kind, and he’d just run down to Home Depot in the middle of his weekend project to get another quart of whatever? I’ve had days like that.
I know lots of guys who wear puffy nylon shorts that aren’t necessarily full of poo.
The bulkiness of his shorts was more pronounced in the front than in the back 'cause he was probably hung like a horse.
[eh, Dave, you must not have needed whatever it was very badly… You couldn’t just go ask someone else? ]
Okay, here goes. I’ll attempt to respond. (sheesh, you go home and overnight, WOW!)
Bob, it wasn’t raining. Nice and sunny day, actually.
absoul, no dice on the bike shorts. This was rather cumbersome. I can’t even imagine someone being able to sit on a bike seat AT ALL with this on, much less actually being able to move the bike.
Kinsey, nope, the plastic stopped at the waist.
I had considered a colostomy bag (or some such similar issue because I knew that those bags weren’t THAT big). I also considered the fact that I was getting WAY too into this and that, yes, perhaps it was just some sort of safety/shielding frock that you’d wear while you were puttering in the garage or working on a project. It didn’t have any pockets whatsoever, so it wouldn’t be able to hold anything like nuts & bolts. It had more of the appearance of keeping stuff off him or off what he might be around, rather than something that would assist him in movement or anything else. So I’m thinking a shield type of thing.
Of course, some of the rest of you could be right. Alien? Well, I didn’t see the spaceship in the parking lot… Fraternity prank? Probably a bit old for that. Kooky? Entirely possible. Well hung? God, I don’t know, but I knew one of you would bring it up.
Oh, and he was a customer. He was buying what looked like a tool box that has wheels on the bottom (so you can drag it along like those carry-on suitcases with the wheel & handles).
IMHO… I think this shows a disability on your part that you cannot communicate through any method other than with your voice. If you were unable to speak, you would expect the sales clerk to work with you in determining what it is you needed.
Next time you encounter a disabled person, or even a person, who doesn’t understand your spoken language for whatever reason, be respectful and patient. You would expect to be treated the same.
I have no idea about the apron thing, but the puffiness/funny walk thing brought to mind something that happened to my dad years ago (and God, I hope he doesn’t read this board).
He had a little problem with his “plumbing” - twisting of the testicles. I was about 16 when this happened, so I really didn’t really probe for details, but it all swelled up (huge!) and he had to get surgery. He was not a happy camper for a little while and walked kinda funny.
Maybe the guy had this sort of problem or something similar, had surgery, and the bandaging/swelling underneath his shorts was causing the bulkiness? Also, the doctor might have had him wear more constricting shorts in order to keep everything nice and still.
I don’t know, maybe he threw the aprom on in some sort of attempt to cover up this potentially embarassing situation?
Oh, Jesus. IMHO? I think you’re overly PC and looking for something to be offended about. Where did he say he was disrespectful? Hiring deaf people to work in customer service jobs is a serious impediment to getting things done efficiently.
Well, I tried doing a Google search under “plastic apron”, which brought up nothing but full-front aprons. Then I switched to “plastic waist shield”, and after the third website I looked at for chastity belts (including how to make one at home, using a Rubbermaid wastebasket and PVC pipe–the designer notes that if you make it entirely out of plastic, you can avoid setting off metal detectors wherever you go), I quit trying.
My Final Answer is gonna be “protective craft apron of some kind”.
Actually, a mod at Customer’s Suck is hearing impaired-she has a hearing aid, but she’s still deaf-and does quite well, thank you.
Also, at the grocery store I used to work at, we had a stock boy one summer who was hearing impaired and mute as well. I never got to know him very well on account of he was always in the back, but he was VERY popular with the rest of the stock crew, and whenever he came up front, he’d smile and nod to us. He always worked hard, too.
You couldn’t just go ask someone else? ]