What the thread title says. Beautiful in its simplicity…
Always Expect Ninjas! XD
He was trying to impress the ladies. Naturally.
They’ll really be impressed with his groin scars, and possible lack of one of his nuts.
Don’t be fooled! This kid is going to grow up to be the next Hitler!
Ninjas don’t use guns. I suspect he might be lying. Or facing a whole new dangerous breed of ninjas
Duh, ninjas.
And when the police came back and questioned the guy a second time, he changed his story and said he shot himself in the crotch. I think it’s pretty clear the ninjas went to the hospital and told him to say that.
Speaking of phony police reports, I just ran across this:
“One of the suspects was found dead in an adjacent field. He had several gunshot wounds and is believed to have shot himself.”
Goddamn, another gun nut.
It takes a nut to do something like that.
Life with one testicle beats walking around half cocked.
The come-on:
“It was This-Big… but that’s the one that got away…” :smack:
and the come-back:
“Oh, yeah? Well you should see the Other guy…” 
“On the ground over there… what the hell is that? Calamari?” “Don’t touch that…!”
James Bond and Tiger Tanaka would beg to differ.
Sounds like he got shot a few times by the homeowner he was trying to rob, ran into a field, and decided to kill himself then and there. Several gunshot wounds, shot himself.
But at least he was able to stop them from kidnapping President Ronnie!
He was probably trying to make sure so he fanned the trigger.