cough, cough Thank you so much, BigDaddy! Whew! Thought I was a goner there for a second. Hehehehe, that tickles!! And thanks for the compliment, my dear man. Too kind.
Lexi! Hi, there! So glad you’re back in the land of the conscious again. And, no, I’m not mad at you, come on over here, big guy. I’ve got plenty of loving to share, don’t I BigDaddy?? <smooooch!> And, what is THAT???
Are you that glad to see li’l ole me???
VB, dear, move over, I need a little more room to sit down here. Thanks! Where’d Surg go now?? And, who was that masked man that just zoomed by here???
Seen on billboard near home:
Don’t make me come down there.
God
::gets out of the Jello pool and runs around in circles screaming “I’m a sticky Jello Man!” Then he realizes he’s sobering up and goes to the teletransmogrifier and mixes up a bunch of bottles of Guinness::
ALl right, now that’s a lot of beer.
::drinks one::
Anyone want some?
::drinks one::
Nobody? Ok den
::drinks one::
You guysh shure you odn’t watn one?
::drinks one::
hahahhehhehehahoohoho
: :pours one on his shoulder in a vain attempt to drink one::
Shure’s hic cold in here, innit?
::jumps into the hot tub::
Where the wimminsh at? I gotsh me shome SHENSHORING to do!
: :presses some buttons at random, while pretending to know what he’s doing. The jacuzzi starts frothing, the lights dim, some light jazz turns on, and a gaudy porno starts playing on the ceiling::
Aright! Time fer shum luvin!
I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.
Wow! It appears this drug has some great side fx.
Um, purplebear, can I borrow you for a minute. Or like an hour. Oh heck, can I borow you indefinitely?
hey VB, catch!
<tosses margarita to VB, amazing how you can do that sort o’ shit in 0 g.>
It’s for falcon or Cristi or whoever wanted one. Ah, hell,
<tosses another one>
Give 'em both one, and a poke and a tickle for me, too!
And hey, check this out! That pool of jello is getting kinda full. So I made this…
<wheels in bigger pool of vanilla pudding>
{SPLORP!}
Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
Ah kin feel it sqeshen twixt me toes!
Hey purplebear, you wanna see something really swell? Come here and let’s see if this stuff tastes the same with two people in it
“Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.”
P-bear:
Always like to be of service. And yes, there’s plenty of hot lovin’ to go around
Hey ladies, did I ever show you my rescue tube? I can bring three lusty lassy back to life at once.
(Gosh, did I really say that? I hope I don’t come off as too mastersonish :o)
It’s not how you pick your nose, it’s where you put the boogers
{splorp!}
Oooowwwww, hheeeeyyyyy, that DOES feel wonderful, squishing between my toes, and my, ummm, well, anyway. Wonderful!
Hey, VB, come join us! This is so cool. Even better than the jello! feeling something sliding up her leg, purplebear starts giggling
hehehehehe, that tickles!! who’s doing that??
Say, toss me one o’them margarita’s, I’ve been sober for too long now!
Seen on billboard near home:
Don’t make me come down there.
God
Dammit Sy! Didn’t I ask you not to give the feckin’ alien aardvark one of them costumes? After what the little fella did to that poor sheep what Lex let loose ye shoulda known better. In all me years I never seen a ewe turn like that . . . poor critter’s been back there just sobbin’ fer days now . . .
Batman indeed! Hey . . . did I just see Cristi and Batman headed fer the shower? Cristi! Save yerself woman! I tell ya, it ain’t of this earth . . .
Sigh. Well, may the best critter win . . .
Dr. Watson
“Election? That’s like free will or something, right?”
purplebear, let’s see if we can make a reality out of that statement!
Hey look, I go a snorkel sos I can breath under this stuff! Lets see if I can a a purplebear wiggle and giggle!
<sploop! goes down-ahem-under pudding to see if purplebear is ticklish, and to see if she squeals
“Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.”
:: :Dicking around on the bridge of USS Guy Stuff, because no one is there…:::
Cool viewscreens, Cristi is bowling naked, energy readings in Jacuzzi and holodeck are way off line (snicker). Wow, didn’t know Purplebear could bend like that!! Shit, almost out of buttered popcorn and Triple Sec.
Lot of water and other sticky fluids leaking into other parts of the ship, according to the monitors. Oh wow, that looks like a bad one there—water, Margarita mix, and some kind of chocolate syrup/Jello combo leaking into anti-matter fuel pods. Maybe I can fix that problem-- turns off the monitor. Instead of all that bad news, must get monitor to pick up ESPN and Playboy Channel. Make it so!
I can do anything here! The captain is stinkin’ drunk and the entire crew is in holodeck and Jacuzzi. I can start wars!! I can go to distant galaxies!! I can…
:::Spills margarita onto main computer console:::
Wow, will you look at all the sparks a margarita can make!! Whaddayamean “ALL SYSTEMS SHUT DOWN, PREPARE FOR SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE”? Oh man, this is coming out of my paycheck! Well…maybe not.
Let me just casually walk on out and see if Cristi’s still bowling naked…
Third Officer Bluepony
Assistant Recreation Officer, USS Guy Stuff
Thanks BigDaddy! I really needed a drink! Ummmm, good.
giggling repeatedly, Purplebear starts wiggling and squirming around in the ooooey, gooey pudding
SQUEEL!! laughing again, she says That really tickles, and um, oh, my! um, wow!.. and starts muttering incoherently.
OH! My stars! Why, Lexi, dear! What wonderful things you think of to do!!
Why, hello, there. Is that you, VB, coming to join in this fun? Welcome! and you too, Shadowfox and Falcon. Pass me another drink, someone, Lexi quite took my breath away!!!
Thanks, big guy!
Seen on billboard near home:
Don’t make me come down there.
God
Hot cinnamon oil, did you say?? Come on over here, flyboy, let me show you what we do with hot cinnamon oil…
<giggling again, PB lunges at VB and makes him drop several pillows>
Oil, first, THEN the pillows. You guys get started without us for a while…
Finding a quiet corner in the hot tub room, currently empty, Purplebear proceeds to show VB some new manuevers she’s learned recently…
Oh, hello Bluepony! Care to join us? Or would you rather jump in the pillow fight going on in the pudding/jello room?
Seen on billboard near home:
Don’t make me come down there.
God
Jello and pudding and now hot oil? I need another shower (walks over to the shower room, where Cristi and Batman are testing out the new shower massager)
Oh, I’m sorry you two! Can you aim that thing over here and rinse me off? Haha, Batman, I meant the shower massager. Yes, thank you very much. You can get back to your debauchery now.
(Shadowfox walks over to the holodeck) Computer, New Orleans Mardi Gras Festival, circa 2000. (Shadowfox throws off her top and dons beads and boogies her little butt off)
Shadowfox
“The dead have risen, and they’re voting Republican!” - Bart Simpson
That’s it, Falc! You’re goin’ down.
(My, what a convenient double entendre`)
::takles Falcon into bed of pillows, and proceeds to tickle her to the verge of hysteria::
It’s not how you pick your nose, it’s where you put the boogers
Captain Sy staggers out of his ready room, still trying to get on his superhero costume.
Captain: Friggin’ spandex. . . SPANDEX?
Rips off costume.
Captain: What the hell am I THINKING? This is the USS GUY STUFF! Not the USS SPANDEX! Guys don’t wear tights! Sheesh.
Puts on boxer shorts.
Captain: Much better. Now where did I put that beer? Ah, I’ll just get another. . . hey, why is that console on fire? Is it supposed to do that? What does “self-destruct” mean?
Pulls out the ship’s foot-thick instruction manual and frowns at it thoughtfully. Not reading, just frowning.
Captain: Ah, I see what the problem is! Someone spilled a perfectly good margarita on the console. What a waste. I ought to throw them in the brig. . .
Computer: 10. . . 9. . . 8. . .
Captain: God, that’s annoying. How do I shut it off. . .
Captain Sy hits random buttons on the melting console.
